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I Just Want A Sex Partner – Dating To Relating For Men – 5/14/12

admin — Sat, 12 May 2012 00:20:08 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is created and authored by Mr. L. Rx and released exclusively through AssociatedNews.US. Mr. L. Rx is one of the preeminent men’s dating advice gurus, with the second most popular men’s dating advice site on the internet (DatingToRelating.com) and several popular books such as his dating bible for men – Dating To Relating – From A to Z.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z.” Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am not interested in getting married or having a girlfriend. Quite honestly I just want a sexual partner. What is the best line you can use to get hooked up that way with a girl?

Answer: Now this is a typical question that I get from a number of guys. I sometimes hesitate to answer this question as I do not personally believe in using people, which is what a lot of guys do who just want a sexual relationship.

In fact, most typically, a guy will simply lie to a girl, tell her whatever she wants to hear – I love you, I want to get married someday, etc. – just to get sex.

It is my observation that the idea that guys can’t commit is a fallacy that stems from guys lying to girls just to get sex. In actuality I believe that guys are more inclined to commit to a relationship then women are. It is just that guys need sex so bad, they compromise their integrity and get involved with women they are really not interested in – just to get sex – and that is the reason for the “myth” that guys can’t commit.

Believe me, when a guy is really interested in a girl, he won’t have any problem committing and he will probably want to do it way before she is ready.

But to answer the question honestly I will give you guys a piece of advice that an “older man” gave me when I was about 25. (He was 30.) He told me that he had lied, lied and lied in order to try to get women to give him sex all his life. But in the end he was a miserable failure. Not many women wanted to have sex with him at all. So then one day, he got tired of lying and deceit and just decided to tell the truth. And suddenly he started having success with women.

He would tell them things like: He couldn’t be trusted; he would cheat on them without a doubt; he would lie to them all the time; etc.

And after telling them all this they would still have sex with him. Out of his experiences, he evolved a maxim: The best lie is the truth.

This is the maxim that he taught me when I was 25. When I got divorced shortly afterwards, I remembered the maxim and never lied to anyone. I always told the truth and never had any problem getting someone to accept me for just a sexual relationship.

Why is that? Why does this maxim work?

Well no one likes being lied to and manipulated. And when you attempt to do that, it is either obvious you are lying ( this is true for most people, hence the poor success rate with lies) or you get caught sooner or later and dumped.

But when you tell the truth you will discover that yes, you will loose a few women who aren’t interested in the same thing you are, but you will also discover that there are plenty of women, who are interested in the same thing as you.

A relationship built on truth will not be harmful to either party and will be a much better experience then trying to trick some poor girl into a sexual relationship by lying to her and telling her you love her and are interested in marriage when you aren’t.

So the moral to this story and the answer to your question is that the “best line” is the truth. Tell women exactly what you are looking for and you will stand your best chance for success.

Mr. L. Rx

I Don’t Meet All Of Her Needs – Dating To Relating For Men – 5/7/12

admin — Sat, 05 May 2012 22:08:47 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I have been dating says she is really attracted to me physically, but she broke up with me because I don’t meet all of her needs. I don’t understand this and she won’t explain it any further. What’s going on?

Answer: There are many types of attraction vectors involved in sexual relationships. Especially for women, it is not all about what you look like or sex.

For example, sexual attraction can be two-way mutual sex attraction, or a one way physical attraction with another dynamic attraction factor (money, emotion, power, status, political, mental stimulation, etc.) replacing or in addition to physical attraction on the other’s part.

What this girl is telling you is that physical attraction is not enough for her to get involved in a long term sexual relationship with you.

I don’t know much about your situation but perhaps she is looking for an economic attraction. Some women only get involved with a boyfriend who they are attracted to and who has money enough to take care of them. Some women don’t even care if a man is physically attractive if he has money. We usually call these latter kind of women “gold diggers.”

Or it could be she is looking for an emotional attraction in addition to a physical attraction. Emotional attraction can be either one-way or mutual and is usually the most compelling factor in determining relationships for both men and women. (Although men are attracted to women for other factors, usually physical, emotional factors tend to be the deal clinchers.)

Emotionally, for example, we will often become attracted to a person who we know is really attracted to us because we know they will be super nice to us and treat us right. Similarly we are often attracted to people who make us feel cool, wanted, desirable, etc.

Whether this feeling is generated internally (the hot girl who does absolutely nothing for you but go out and look hot in front of all your friends thereby making you look cool and desirable to others) or externally (the not so hot girl who tells you over and over again how good looking, etc. you are), we all like relating to people who make us feel good about ourselves.

Other emotional attraction vectors influencing relationships involve friendship, compatibility, good communication, emotional support, and mental stimulation among others.

I don’t have time to go over all of these factors here, but you should realize that it is not all about looks for women. If you want to attempt to rescue the relationship then look into some of these other areas where you may be coming up short and see if you can make any corrections.

Mr. L. Rx

Recently Divorced – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/30/12

admin — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 00:33:06 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on being recently divorced visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am a recently divorced man, 42 years old. I was married to one woman for 15 years. How do I get back in the swing of things? I haven’t dated in a very long time.

Answer: Good question. There are several things you can do to get back into the swing of things. And it starts with observation.

Go somewhere where men and women are dating. Watch a few couples. See how they are acting. See how the men dress. Listen to the topics that are being talked about. Listen to whether the women are responding positively or negatively to the men they are with.

Observe the women. See what the women you are attracted to respond to and don’t respond to. In the end, if you are a careful observer you can learn what women you are attracted to like and don’t like in men’s behavior. Make sure you notice women’s personality. Notice what the personalities you like respond to.

Most importantly go where there are lots of women and start interacting with them on any level you can. You don’t have to hit up on them to interact with them.

Interact with them on a safe level. Don’t do anything that will make you get scared and want to run away. Ask them for the time. Ask them for directions. Ask them their opinions on things, but don’t ask them for a date, or to dance if that is going to make you feel rejected if they say no.

Go to a night club for example and ask a few women for help. Tell them you are recently divorced and you have no clue on how to meet women and how to act and ask them for their advice.

In your spare time, read advice from dating gurus such as myself, but most importantly constantly and continually interact with women. When I was recently divorced, I found that internet and personal ads were a very easy way to meet women. In fact, I went out on 700 dates in one year after I got divorced by using internet and personal ad dating sites.

When you meet women in any situation – talk, talk, talk. Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions. Women will help you if you just ask. Don’t make “getting a girl friend” your immediate target. Make “learning about women so you don’t make the same mistakes” your immediate target.

I spent a whole year meeting women and asking questions and learning before I settled down with one woman. It was perhaps the best single thing I have ever done.

If you do the above things you will gradually not only get back into the swing of things, but after a few months you will become an “old pro.”

Mr. L. Rx

Creating A Relationship – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/23/12

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 00:39:08 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on creating a relationship visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, my girlfriend says I am not creating our relationship. I love her and all but I have no clue what she is talking about. Can you help me understand this?

Answer: When you first meet a girl and are attracted to her – you are trying to establish a relationship – whether it is just for a fling (sexual fun), ongoing friendship only (companionship and sexual fun) or something more serious – like all of the above plus living together and sharing finances and raising children together.

You are hoping she will be attracted to you too, and then that will lead to friendly fun and, in most cases, what you really want and need from a woman – sexual fun. And if this happens, you’ll have a sexual relationship.

Now remember, there is no static state in any relationship. Relationships either get better (you are relating more and having more fun or producing more desired products – happiness, contentment, personal goals, children, sex, etc.) or they get worse (you are relating less, seeing each other less, having less fun, having less sex, producing less products together.)

So when a woman is talking about creating a relationship, she is talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you don’t create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc.

So what is creating a relationship? Creating a relationship is doing those things which increase attraction (both physical and/or mental/spiritual), communication, understanding, mutual survival, agreements between you, and the number and or quality of the products you produce together.

When you are not creating a relationship the attraction decreases (physical and/or mental/spiritual), the communication worsens, the understanding and mutual survival lessens, the agreements between you lessen and/or are broken, and the number and quality of products you produce together go down.

So, let’s translate this into actions you can do.

Well, you probably already know how to create a relationship. Most guys do it when they are romancing the girl to get her. They bring her flowers, open the door for her, assure her she looks nice (when she is worried about it), listen to her gossip even though it bores them out of their mind. They go to the mall with her when they really hate shopping. They go to chick movies with her now and again. Get it guys? You know what I am talking about, creating is all those things you do to get the girl!

Now the problem is most guys do all kinds of things they don’t like just to get the girl. So, after they get her and feel comfortable with their position, they stop doing all those things that they don’t like.

Problem is guys, that is the death toll for the relationship.

Whatever you did to get the girl you have to do more of it, more frequently, and in new and better ways to create the relationship and keep her.

And if your girl is complaining that you are not creating the relationship any more, I will bet you anything you are not doing the things you did to get her anymore.

Mr. L. Rx

Dating And Relating Technologies – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/16/12

admin — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 18:14:16 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on dating and relating technologies visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, you talk about your advice being a technology rather than a strategy. What is the difference and why is it important at all?

Answer: A strategy is detailed instructions on how to do something or how to approach something that if you employ (even without fully understanding it) will work a certain percentage of times.

A technology is a full understanding on all the principles of an area so that one can master the area. A technology will generate dozens of strategies each of which works under certain circumstances.

Why does anyone need a technology instead of a strategy and who would be the kind of person that would want a technology rather than a strategy?

Well, there are several reasons why a person might prefer a technology to a strategy.

1) If you are just the kind of person who wants to master an area, you would prefer a technology to a strategy.

2) If you are tired of the low yield that dating strategies produce and would prefer to close 80-90% of any of the women you meet in any situation rather than 10% of the women that you meet in general circumstances you would prefer a technology to a strategy. (Actually, some strategies – some that I give you in my writings – can yield as much as 80-100% results – if you apply them under certain specific conditions and with certain specific personality types. The problem is these same strategies will not work at all – 0% results – under other conditions and with other personality types- and this is not what most gurus will tell you about their own strategies.)

3) If the strategies that you have been exposed to require you to do and say things that just don’t feet right, that just aren’t you, then you would prefer a technology to a strategy. A technology will allow you to generate your own strategy that works for you that you are completely comfortable with doing.

After observing the “Dating Guru” scene for many years and buying many of these products myself to sharpen my own game, I realized that none of these guys had any technology, only strategy. Moreover, when I looked at there results, there statistics were worse than mine.

I learned a lot from these typical “dating gurus.” After all, anything anyone has to say on the subject is applicable to certain situations and I find that valuable. I certainly have not done everything and there are certainly many clever guys other than me who have come up with clever strategies for meeting and dating women.

So, all of these guys are good guys in my opinion. They are ALL trying to help their fellow man. But there is a problem out there. There are not TECHNOLOGIES only strategies, and that is why I write.

Gurus can come up with a strategy that works from trial and error, word of mouth, watching other guys, etc. But a technology of dating and relating is a way to develop many strategies from theory and observation that are applicable across a wide variety of situations and personality types – any situation, any personality type, that you choose. It is a way to adjust and correct with changing times, situations, needs, etc.

Most importantly, a technology is a way to get what you want. A strategy sometimes will leave you high and dry in that department.

I hope that clarifies it for you.

Mr. L. Rx

Best Places To Meet Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/9/12

admin — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 16:43:06 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on the best places to meet women visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How and where are the best ways and places for a single guy to meet women?

Answer: A lot of guys ask me where is the best place to meet girls, or to find dates?

The answer is that once you are skilled, it is anywhere, any time, any place.

But for those who aren’t quite that skilled and for those who are very particular and are looking for a certain kind of girl, a certain age of girl, a certain type of girl, etc. this question takes on much more importance.

I use to think (like a lot of guys do) that finding dates was the hardest thing in the world to do, but after having gone on 700 dates in one year, I now think it is one of the easier things to do. The harder question to answer, I believe, is how do you find the right girl for you?

But the question today is how and where to find dates, so the following are some good places to meet women.

Clubs and social groups – Now this is probably one of the better ways to meet women. It has a couple of advantages built in. By choosing the right club or group you can pre-qualify a woman on interests and compatibility.

Dating Clubs and Dating counselors – I have used dating clubs, dating services, and dating counselors – the services that give you personal hand picked dates as opposed to internet dating sites.

Speed Dating – This can be a fairly good way to meet people. It is quick and to the point. Of course, it depends on the membership and who is sponsoring it. But whenever you can meet a lot of people quickly it is a good idea as it is both cost and time effective.

Friends – Working your friends and even associates for leads can be very worthwhile. It is free and usually doesn’t take long. Most of the leads I have gotten this way have been superior to internet, classifieds, and dating clubs. Since it is free it is certainly worth giving it a shot. Just tell your friends what you are looking for and ask them if they know anyone who is single and would possibly be interested.

Online dating sites – for people on the go and who have a busy life style, Internet dating has certain advantages. The main one being that you can check out tons of people in a short period of time. The quality factor I find to be low with internet dating, however, as most people tend to present their best side by exaggerating or lying about their personality, their age, and their looks. This is especially true for the over 35 years old crowd.

Online and print classified and personal ads – Classified ads whether online or not, is equal to or better than online dating sites as a way to meet women. However, again it depends on the service you subscribe to.

Social community sites – MySpace, Facebook and all the new community sites also offer a source of free internet dating. You can check out people’s profiles and place classified ads

Mr. L. Rx

How To Prospect For Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/2/12

admin — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 18:05:04 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on how to prospect for women visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I have the worse luck finding women who are good prospects for relationships. I have no trouble meeting women but they all seem to have boyfriends, or they are a little nuts, or something else is wrong. How do you find good prospects for relationships?

Answer: Good question. Now most guys naturally do what they think is prospecting by asking: Is she single? Is she cute?

Most guys know to find out the answers to those two questions before they waste time and energy on courtship. But that is really not prospecting. It is just sorting out the leads (someone you should to talk to) from those you shouldn’t bother to talk to.

Now once you do your basic sort and decide which girls you should talk to, this is where prospecting really begins.

How does she feel about relationships? What is she looking for? What kind of relationship is she looking for? What kind of guy is she looking for? What does she expect from a guy in a relationship? Is she affectionate? Does she like to cuddle at night? Does she like sex? How often? Does she want children? How many? Is she smart? How smart? Is she educated? How educated? What kind of career does she want? How important is it to her? What is more important to her family or career? What is more important to her? Her husband or her friends? Her children or her husband? Her mother or her husband? What is her family like? How does she handle her family? Is she still a little girl afraid to stand up to mom, dad, aunt and uncle? Or has she grown up and able to command respect from her elders?

There are hundreds of more questions. The list just goes on and on.

But in order to figure out if someone is a good prospect for you, you have to ask questions. You can qualify a woman as a prospect in two minutes ( or two dates, or two months ) or waste a lot of time on her by going into your sales pitch just to find out later she wasn’t a prospect after all. (In some cases, that might be 2 or 3 years of dating to find out what you could have found out in two months of intense qualifying in the beginning.)

Not only do you qualify when you first meet a woman, as you move along in relationships, you have to continually qualify women especially as you move from level to level of relationship.

The girl who is a hot lover, may make a lousy girlfriend. The girl who was an excellent see-you-three-times-a-week girlfriend may make a terrible “roommate” when you finally chose to live together. The girl who was a good “roommate” or living together partner, may make a crummy wife and mother.

Every type of relationship has its own set of unique qualifying questions and answers.

Every guy has his own unique set of questions and answers for each type of relationship.

So you see, when you are 18, “Is she cute?” and “Does she have a boyfriend?” may seem to be the only two questions you need answered. But unless you are extraordinarily lucky, it won’t be enough. And it is NOT qualifying or defining a prospect. It is only defining a lead.

Ask a lot of questions. It is the only way you determine if a woman is right for you.

Mr. L. Rx

Creating “Future” When Meeting Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/26/12

admin — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 18:33:37 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on creating future when meeting women visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have no trouble walking up to women and talking to them, but I never seem to get anywhere. I don’t ever get any dates. Worse yet, I don’t know if I am even trying to get a date. Actually, I am waiting for the girl to suggest that we do something together. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: Sounds like you are not establishing future. Future is an interesting but very overlooked dating and relating concept. Future is the essence of a relationship. It is the “why” in “Why we have a relationship.”

If we didn’t care about future, our dating and love life would be different.

We would simply wake up in the morning, go about our life and randomly hook up with someone for some romantic pleasure, then go our merry ways respectively.

While there are a few people who do live their lives this way, most of us care about future. We want to hook up with someone romantically that we can also hook up with in the future over and over again.

Most of us are concerned with future, and yes, it is the driving force behind the concept of a relationship, yet it is seldom talked about and there is little education on this topic with respect to dating and relationships.

So let’s break the mold and start addressing it. Because, understanding and creating “future” makes meeting women, attracting women, and relating to women much less difficult.

All of these activities start, survive and end on the concept of future. But it is key to remember that it is not just future alone, it is “future” mixed with acceptable activity in the future.

If you don’t have “creating a future” as a target in mind when you first meet a woman, it can be a mistake. You can randomly talk to a woman, establish no future, then just walk away when the conversation is over. This would be a mistake and you would leave with some sort of odd feeling of “I wonder if I should have said…” or “I wonder if I should have asked her…”

When you are trying to meet women, make your job easier. Have some attention on future and a goal to walk away with an agreement to contact each other again in the future for some reason.

The most obvious way to establish future is to ask a girl out on a date. But when it comes to strangers walking down the street, well it might work on “not-so-hot-chicks” but it definitely does not work on “really hot chicks” as they get asked out about 15 times a day every day. They also get tired of guys just being interested in them for their body.

So with hot girls the goal is to establish future without seeming like you are only interested in their body. The best way to do this is to engage them in some sort of conversation, find an area of mutual interest, then find something they are really interested in that you know, and say you will email them or call them with some information on it.

Since you are not focusing on how “hot” and sexy they are, they will most always accept and/or return your call or email.

Each time you call or email them create more future.

This is how you will end up with a date.

Mr. L. Rx

Our Relationship Is Drifting Apart – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/19/12

admin — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 18:31:43 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I’ve read some of your works on relationships. I use to have a good relationship but it seems we are just drifting apart. No cheating or anything like that, but we seem to be no longer interested in the same things. How do you keep a relationship together under such circumstances?

Answer: Now the thing is, as you get through the first stage of attracting the girl, there comes a point where you start working together as a team pursuing mutual goals – house, car, boat, vacations, kids, etc. The thing you have to remember about this is that the process of working together as a team is more important than the things you obtain as a team. Teamwork is like “glue” that holds a couple together.

Sometimes when a couple achieves some of the goals that are the objects of their teamwork, they forget to replace those goals with new ones. Sooner or later if you don’t replace old goals with new ones you run out of things to work together on.

So often a couple gets engaged, gets married, has children, gets a nice house, gets a nice car and then stop setting goals and their teamwork disappears.

Sometimes it doesn’t even go that far. Sometimes they both have a simple goal like moving in together. They do that and then stop creating team projects. Like the need to continue to do the things you did to attract her, working together to achieve goals and solve problems is the expanded foundation of a relationship. As long as you keep working together as a team and setting new goals to accomplish, you will continue to create a healthy satisfying relationship.

Goals don’t always have to be mutual goals. Sometimes a couple helps each other on personal goals. They work together as a team to get her to lose 10 pounds. They work together as a team to get him a better job.

Doing that creates the relationship in a healthy manner. Telling your girl “you’d better lose ten pounds or I am out of here” doesn’t. Telling the guy he’d “better get a better job” or you are gone doesn’t create a relationship either. These kinds of attitudes make you “enemies” or “opponents” rather than teammates.

Mutual goals are common “opponents” and make you teammates fighting against your obstacles to achieving your goals.

I can go on and on and on, on this topic, but I think you get the point. Continually setting goals and working on those goals as a team helps to create a relationship. Stop doing this and the relationship will start falling apart or drifting away.

Mr. L. Rx

How Guys “Screw Up” A Good Relationship – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/12/12

admin — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 17:03:12 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on how guys “screw up” a good relationship visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx , what are the mistakes the guys typically make to screw up a healthy relationship?

Answer: Well here are five of the most common basic mistakes.

1) Cheating.
2) Stopping creating the romance that they created to win the girl in the first place.
3) Not continually creating a common opponent to fight as teammates.
4) Not continuing to monitor the goals and purposes of the team and make sure that they are still in unison.
5) Not making sure she continues to do all of the above too.

Now to create a relationship with a willing partner who wants the same thing as you do, all you have to do is continue to create romance, continue to be teammates against a common opponent (and not turn on each other for lack of a “real opponent”), continue to stay in communication with each other as you grow and change (to create staying “on the same page”), continue to be teammates and not become the enemy (by cheating or some such thing) and finally make sure your partner continues to do all of these things too.

1) Cheating – When you cheat, you become the enemy. You are no longer working as team mates for the same thing. You have a hidden agenda and you are not working for the best interest of the team.

2) A lot of guys make the mistake of stopping to romance the girl. When they consider her a teammate they feel they no longer have to “win her over” or romance her. They feel they have “got” her. This is a big mistake.

All those things you did to impress her and get her, worked. These were the things that created “attraction” towards you. Now that you have secured this agreement for her to be your girlfriend or wife and enter into this new game of “teammates” it doesn’t mean that the old game is over. And if you don’t continue to do the things which cause attraction, you will lose her.

3) Now once you move from the stage of a relationship where you are trying to win the girl over, you enter a stage where you are teammates mostly (but remember still keep doing those things to cause the girl to be continually attracted to you)

In the “teammate ” stage you are in agreement. You are a couple and you are approaching the world together as a team. Now, depending on your type of relationship agreement, that can be anything from just creating mutual pleasure together (like sex, or hanging out) to combining your finances and taking on the world financially to improve your mutual lot, to deciding to take on “having kids” and raising them to the standards that you both agree on.

Continually setting goals and working on those goals as a team helps to create a relationship. Stop doing this and the relationship will start falling apart.

4) Now to continually monitor these goals you set as a team, this means communication. You have to talk to your partner and continually monitor where they are at with respect to your mutual and their and your personal goals. People change and grow. You can’t assume the girl you married 3 years ago is the same girl today. You can’t assume the things that she considered important and wanted to work on with you 3 years ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago are still the goals she has today.

Communicate! Talk! Listen! You have to continually find out where you are at. If you keep communication in then you wont’ have any surprise. If you assume she is the same (when she isn’t) then you will be surprised one day when you exclaim “I don’t know who you are anymore” as she walks out the door or cheats on you.

5) Finally, you have to get your girl to do all of these things too. One person creating a relationship is better than none, but two people creating a relationship is a cinch for success.

Mr. L. Rx

Using “Gradients” To Approach Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/5/12

admin — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 18:03:19 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, you talk about using “gradients” a lot in your writings. Can you give me an example of how to use gradients to approach a woman?

Answer: Yes, here is an example:

I use to feel uncomfortable approaching women. I felt like walking up to an attractive woman and saying “Wow, are you hot or what?” or “Will you marry me?” or “I’m in love.” Or “Hey, I just saw you over there and I’m really attracted to you.”

Now before I really looked at it I thought the sequence of approach was something like this:

1) First step – You have to approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose.

2) Second step – You have to tell her you are attracted to her or you won’t be able to create the chance of seeing her again.

Problem is I either couldn’t bring myself to do it, too shy, too insecure about my self, or I got drunk and did it and got shot down 90% of the time. So after a while, I would just let the opportunity pass.

One day I finally sat down and applied gradients to the situation. I figured out that the real problem was I was uncomfortable with telling a hot girl exactly how much I liked her because I didn’t want to face the rejection (especially in front of other people) if she responded negatively. Then I figured out a way that I didn’t have to say these higher gradient things (such as “I love you” or “you are so hot”) on the approach.

So let’s look at the sequence of events in this situation which added some gradient steps between 1 and 2 above.

1) First step – You have to approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose.

2) Second step – You have to say something to her or someway attempt to engage her in a conversation as she probably won’t do it herself.

3) Third step – Say something neutral that will not embarrass you or be obvious to people around that you are hitting on her.

4) Watch her response – does she try to keep the conversation going?

5) If she doesn’t, let her go – no harm no foul – nothing to be embarrassed about after all you just asked her for the time. But if she keeps the conversation going and appears to be interested in doing so go to next step.

6) Keep the conversation going myself. At some point, add a slight “flirt” and see how she responds – something like “Wow, you have really pretty eyes.”

7) If the slight flirt doesn’t push her away, take it to the next level. Tell her she is an interesting person and you would like to talk to her some more but you have to go. Get her phone number and/or email.

8 ) You have achieved step 2 (letting her know you are attracted to her)in the first example above because women are used to subtle communications, and she now knows you are interested in her and thinks you are really cool because you did it in normal way (not the usual guy way – “Wow, you are so beautiful!”)

With this one observation I worked out a gradient strategy that forever handled my uncomfortable feelings and shyness. My shyness was really about me not wanting to look stupid by getting shot down by some girl in front of other people. When I used a gradient approach it eliminated what I was really afraid of – looking stupid by putting my heart on my sleeve and having some girl stomp all over it.

So my best pick up line became and still is today, guys, “Hi!”

Mr. L. Rx

How To Tell What’s Really Going On In A Relationship – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/27/12

admin — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 02:02:05 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I never know what is going on in a relationship. I think things are going fine, then the girl leaves me. Or I am worried and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. How do you tell what is really going on in a relationship?

Answer: If you want to know what is going on in a relationship you have to learn to observe motion.

There are only three basic motions a person can exhibit with respect to you. 1) Move toward you, 2) move away from you, and 3) stay in the same place with respect to you (no motion).

Now when I talk about motion with respect to a man/woman relationship I am talking about motion towards you in many ways, like:

1) physically (a women moves closer to you, touches you, etc.)

2) mentally (agreement would be a motion toward, disagreement a motion away)

3) emotionally (liking you and feeling comfortable would be a motion toward and disliking you, feeling uncomfortable with you would be a motion away)

4) communicatively (wanting to talk to you would be a motion toward, not wanting to talk to you would be a motion away).

These are the statistics that you use to manage your relationship. You watch and observe what she is doing and the direction of her motion.

If she wants less sex, she is moving away. If she doesn’t talk to you as much, she is moving away. If she is getting bored with you, when she use to be enthralled she is moving away.

If she wants “to talk” about things (guys hate this), this is good. She hasn’t given up, she is still moving toward you. If she asks you to go shopping with her (guys hate this too) she is moving toward you.

Now what do you do about it?

Real simple – observe what makes her move toward you, create more of that. Observe what makes her move away from you and stop doing that.

Now if you just do those two simple actions on a daily basis, you can make any relationship better and continue to grow and you can repair a relationship that has gone astray.

Don’t put your feelings about things above your observations. It does not matter what you feel is good, should be good, or should work, etc. OBSERVE what makes her move toward you on the vector you are working on – physical, emotional, communication, mental – and CREATE more of that. OBSERVE what makes her move away and STOP doing that.

The only other thing you will have to take into account in all of this, is your personal integrity. Sometimes when you start to really observe people and see what makes them move toward you, or away from you, you get into a conflict of values, interests, opinions, etc.

You may find yourself in a position that you don’t want to do the things that work and make her move toward you, and she doesn’t want to do the things that you would like to do to make her move toward you.

When you find yourself in that position, you are perhaps in the wrong relationship and should sit down and really discuss your values and where each of you want to go with your lives and your relationship to see if it is worth continuing.

Mr. L. Rx

Mistakes Guys Make In A Relationship – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/20/12

admin — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 00:26:36 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: What are some of the mistakes guys make trying to create a relationship?

Answer: When we talk about CREATING a relationship, we are talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you DON’T create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc.

All of this actually goes back to INTEGRITY and QUALIFYING. When DATING – Never, never, NEVER do things that you really DON’T want to do. If you don’t like giving a girl flowers – DON’T – find a girl who doesn’t like flowers. If you don’t like opening car doors for a woman and being a gentleman, then don’t be one. FIND a girl who is liberated and doesn’t want a man to do that.

If your idea of romance that you can CREATE is going camping and fishing, then find a girl who thinks that is ROMANTIC too.

Believe it or not, guys, there is a girl who is just right for you. I know because I am the guy who went out on 700 dates in a year and talked to an awful lot of women. YOU don’t have to compromise your integrity to get a relationship with a woman.

SO the first mistake here on CREATING relationships with women is NOT FINDING the right woman for you in the first place.

The second mistake is to compromise your integrity and start doing things “to get the woman” that you aren’t going to be able to continue to do AFTER you get her.

The third mistake is to STOP doing the things which got you the girl in the first place. WHATEVER got you the girl, will continue to get you the girl (with a few exceptions I won’t get in to now). But you are going to have to be a little creative and figure out NEW ways to do it so it doesn’t become routine and boring.

SO, if you went dancing with the girl once a week when you were courting her (and she loved it) continue to go dancing with her once a week when you are married, even when you have children – hire a baby sitter. Romance your wife. But you may need to vary it – dance with her after a romantic dinner at home. Take her to new and exciting dance places. Take dance lessons with her. Get the idea.

There are probably dozens of little things (or big things) like this you did to get her. CONTINUE to do them. Do them better. Find new ways of doing them. And find new ways to attract her. You are going to have to do this continuously, and if you want to keep her for the rest of your life, then you are going to have to do this for the rest of your life.

Mr. L. Rx

Dating Advice For Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/13/12

admin — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:57:44 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am a woman and was wondering if you ever give advice to women.

Answer: Yes, I do. I give advice to my daughters and women friends all the time. Here are what I believe to be “No Brainers”. If you consider yourself an upbeat classy woman and you are looking for the same in a man, then if a man has or does any of the following, DROP HIM LIKE A ROCK. He is NOT and never will be classy.

a) If a man ever hits you or slaps you or even threatens you in a rough way – leave him immediately.

b) If a man is over 20 years old, living in the USA and he doesn’t have a car – drop him like a hot potato. Men are supposed to be the providers. If he can’t even provide for himself, he is not much of a man.

c) If a man tries to move into YOUR apartment because he doesn’t have a job or a place to stay – drop him immediately. Again, men are supposed to be the providers. Don’t ever support a man. It may seem cool for a while but in the long run you will regret it.

d) If a man plays with you like you are one of his buddies – drop him instantly. If he can’t make the distinction between men and women, he is a real idiot.

e) If a man doesn’t have any men friends or his men friends are a bunch of a**holes – drop him immediately. There is a reason men (or good men) don’t like him.

f) If a guy is jealous or possessive for no reason – drop him NOW! When people are jealous or paranoid for no reason at all, they are projecting their own moral code on you. They are saying, “If I were in that situation I would be cheating on her, so I know she is cheating on me.” Want to know if I guy would ever cheat on you? This is your biggest clue.

g) If a guy wants a committed relationship after one date – run for the hills!!! This guy is NUTS and will soon turn possessive. And even if he is not acting like it now, you’ll find out the hard way sooner or later if you continue with him.

h) If a guy walks up to you on the street and tells you how hot you are – well just mosey on away…then run for the hills!

i) And of course, if he is married or in a relationship DROP him the minute you find out. This is the biggest no brainer of all. If he cheats on her, he WILL cheat on you. Don’t buy into his sad story of how bad she treats him and what a great guy he is. He is a liar and a cheat. It is all bulls**t. Don’t find out the hard way. Just drop him.

If you want to learn how to spot and pick out a guy whose personality is 80-90 percent compatible with yours, read my article entitled, “Feet, Personality Theory, Dating and Relationships”. You’ll find it free on the internet and you’ll be glad you did!

Mr. L. Rx

http://datingtorelating.com/for_women

How To Create A Better Relationship – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/6/12

admin — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:09:26 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How can I create a better relationship with my girlfriend?

Answer: Well, if you want a better relationship – here is the first rule.

Relationships are created and take continual active work to improve them. A relationship either gets better or worse, there is no static state in relationships – they either get better or worse.

If you create them, they get better. If you stop creating them, they get worse. It’s that simple. And it applies to ALL relationships – work, girlfriend, kids, buddies.

Now my observation is that MOST women already know this and MOST men either DON’T know it, or if they do, they don’t practice it.

So then exactly WHAT are we talking about when we talk about “RELATIONSHIPS” and “CREATE”?

When we talk about CREATING a relationship, we are talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you DON’T create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc.

NOW, selecting the right person to establish a relationship with has a lot to do with it. Because you can unfortunately get with the wrong person who will not CREATE the relationship or try to make it any better. But qualifying a person for a relationship is another technology and I address that in other places, and falls more under DATING technology than RELATING technology. If you are in a relationship (even if it is with someone you probably shouldn’t have gotten with in the first place) you are going to first have to try to CREATE your way out of the bad relationship before you give up on it and move on.

WHY?

Am I being moralistic here? No, I am being practical. If you got yourself into a mess, you need to learn how to do every thing right before you leave and move on, OR ELSE you will find yourself in a situation where you are NOT CREATING with the right person and then THEY WILL DUMP YOU.

So what is CREATING a relationship? CREATING a relationship is doing those things which increase attraction (both physical and mental/spiritual), communication, understanding, mutual survival, agreements between you, and the number and or quality of the products you produce together.

When you are NOT creating a relationship, the attraction decreases (physical and/or mental/spiritual), the communication worsens, the understanding and mutual survival lessens, the agreements between you lessen and/or are broken, and the number and quality of products you produce together go down.

SO Let’s translate this into actions you can do.

Well, you probably already know how to CREATE a relationship. Most guys do it when they are romancing the girl to get her. They bring her flowers, open the door for her, assure her she looks nice (when she is worried about it), listen to her gossip even though it bores them out of their mind, They go to the mall with her when they really hate shopping. They go to chick movies with her now and again. GET IT, GUYS? You know what I am talking about – CREATING is ALL those things you do to GET THE GIRL!

Now the problem is most guys do all kinds of things they DON’T like just to get the girl, so after they get her and feel comfortable in their position – THEY STOP doing all those things that they don’t like.

PROBLEM IS, GUYS, that is the death toll for the relationship.

WHATEVER you did to GET THE GIRL you have to do MORE OF IT, more frequently, and in new and better ways to CREATE the relationship and KEEP her.

Mr. L. Rx

When To Make The “Move” – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/30/12

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:23:35 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: What about making “the move”? After the first date, when is the best time to make “the move”?

Answer: There is no universal best time. Each woman is different. But if you listen and observe, you will know when the time is right. Women will tell you or show you.

I’ve gone out with women who have overtly asked me to make out with them on the first date. I’ve gone out with women who have just had that “look” that told me I should kiss them – right now.

I’ve gone out with women that would only give me a hand shake on the first date. But when I asked them out for a second, a third, a fourth date, they always said yes. That tells me something. It tells me they are interested in me but just very conservative.

Usually with this kind of woman, by the third or fourth date, I start getting a little hug and a cheek kiss, but more importantly the women usually start talking about sex and asking me how I like this or that sexually and sort of qualifying me on the subject of sex.

When they start talking about sex, this is a big clue. So the next date, I usually give them a choice. I say to these very polite and restrained women, “Would you like to go to dinner and a movie again or do you want to just hang out at home and relax, cuddle and watch some TV?”

You see, when they start talking about sex, I know despite their rather conservative behavior, that they are ready for it. So I give them a choice just to confirm my suspicions. When they choose to stay at home (and they always do), I know it is time to take it to the next level.

All the dates after the first date and before being intimate are all actually very similar. Some women will do on date fifteen what other women will do on date two. Some women just need more time to get comfortable with you.

They feel that it takes a long time to get to really know a man. So they proceed more cautiously. If you ask a woman questions about dating while you are getting to know her, she will usually reveal her own dating philosophy. Then you will know how to proceed.

Some women will even tell you that they want the guy to take charge and set the pace. Other women want to be in control and need respect from a guy. Some women want a guy to try even though they will constantly shut him down until they are ready. The fact that the guy tries makes them feel good and desired.

Other women don’t like guys to try too much at all. They give you little signals and they want you to respect and respond to the signals they give. Other women like to be aggressive. Still others like shy guys.

There is no one right time for a guy to make his move. If you simply talk to women, ask questions and listen to the answers, you will know when to make your move and be right most of the time.

Mr. L. Rx

Best Strategy For Second And Third Dates – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/23/12

admin — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 01:37:05 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, what kind of mistakes have you made on dates that lost you women? What is the best strategy to use when going on second and third dates, etc.

Answer: I have made plenty of mistakes. There is no one right way for a guy to behave with a woman. But if you use a strategy you will only be right 10-30 percent of the time. If you simply talk to women, ask questions and listen to the answers, they will tell you where they are at about things and what to do to get them. If you approach it this way, you can be right 70-90 percent of the time.

I close about 90 percent of the women I meet on a first date for a second date. And when I get a second date, it is a done deal. A relationship is mine if I want it.

I have made plenty of mistakes over the years however. But usually the ones I lose are the oddball crazy ones. The ones that don’t fit any pattern that I have seen before, but are none-the-less crazy.

For example, I have lost women on dates 2-5 by not being sexually aggressive enough. This usually happened when women were giving me mixed signals. Telling me either verbally or with body language that they didn’t want to have sex yet, then ending things later complaining that I wasn’t aggressive enough.

I have also lost women on dates 2-5 by being too aloof. Usually hot women like it when I am aloof and not chasing after them. I never, never, never tell a woman she is “Hot” on the first date or even for a few dates after that. I might only begin to tell her after we are having sex, how hot I think she is. But occasionally you get a woman who is “hot” with very low self esteem and she needs that attention from guys that most hot women hate. I lose them because they are not confident enough in themselves to chase after me.

Losing the crazy ones is not a big deal to me, however. In fact, I prefer it.

But, if you are a little crazy yourself, you might like that type of girl. So when you get mixed signals or suspect that there may be some deeper insecurity issues or low self esteem going on with a girl that she is not revealing, be a little more observant. Expect the unexpected.

If I had been a little more observant, I probably wouldn’t have lost the crazy ones either.

And finally remember your sex gradients. I’ve talked about them before.

Remember that “Negative Sex talk” (I don’t like it when guys do this and guys do that”, “You can’t have sex with me, yet,” etc.) is the fist gradient of sexual interest. Positive sex talk is the next gradient.

The physical contact gradients come after those. Light touches with the hands while talking, holding hands, kissing, making out, petting, heavy petting, intercourse.

So when a girl is not touching you or kissing you, don’t necessarily give up on her. Talk to her. If she brings up “negative sex talk” or “positive sex talk” on her own, she is interested in you. But don’t you be the one to bring it up or she might go into “Negative sex talk” as a reaction not as a flirt. Listen to her and see what she originates. Once she brings it up either positive or negative, join in.

Mr. L. Rx

I Never Seem To Pass Inspection – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/16/12

admin — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:24:41 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am looking for a girlfriend. I have no problem meeting women, but I always feel that they are checking me out on the first few dates, and I never seem to pass inspection. I never seem to get to the sexual stage. What do you recommend?

Answer: Well, first of all, when you are looking for a girlfriend, remember that immediate sexual gratification is not the most important thing to be considering. Sex is part of a good boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but compatibility, personality, communication and respect are by far more important issues.

Girls know that. That is why most of them won’t enter into a quick sexual relationship with a guy they are considering for a boyfriend. They want to check him out first and make sure he has acceptable qualities. Some women take longer to check you out than others. Hence, some will sleep with you after a few dates, while others it takes a few months.

If you do the wrong things during this dating “check out” stage, then they will never sleep with you. They might not even kiss you during those first dates…Horrors!

If you have gotten past that all important first date and the girl agrees to go out with you again, then plain and simple she is interested in you and you have a chance at a relationship – provided you don’t blow it from that point on.

So what do you do during this “check out” stage to end up with a girlfriend? How do you not “blow it?” Well, the easiest way to answer that question is that you do the same thing that they do. Check them out and see if you really want to get involved with them or not. And most importantly communicate that that is what you are doing to them while you are doing it.

Listen to a woman. Check her out. Ask her questions. Women love to talk. They’ll tell you everything you need to know if you just listen and ask questions. The mistake is to focus on sex and start telling her things to impress her, so she will want to have sex with you.

Qualify the woman. Do you really like her? Do you want to spend time with her? What would she be like if you did spend 24/7 with her?

If you really do like a woman and you qualify her by asking questions to get to know her better every time you see her, she will love you for it. Why? Because she will know that you are really interested in her. That it is NOT just about sex for you. That you have values. And if you are compatible, it will be obvious to both of you, as you ask questions back and forth.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Bounce Back From A Breakup – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/9/12

admin — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:28:18 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, How do you bounce back from a breakup?

Answer: Well, very good question. A lot of guys mope around for years after a breakup, especially when the girl breaks up with them.

Some guys think that the old maxim “When you fall off a horse, get right back on” is the way to go. In other words, get another girlfriend.

However, that is not the best thing to do. Going from one lousy relationship to another, without learning what you did wrong, may make you feel better but it won’t lead to future success.

What I have always done after a break up is intense dating. If you do a lot of dating, talk to a lot of women, and ask a lot of questions you will be able to learn why your last relationship failed. That will make you a lot smarter when you go into that next relationship and increase your chances for eventual success.

How do you do a lot of dating? Well, I cover that extensively in my eBook “How I Got 700 Dates In One Year.” Basically, internet and personal dating sites are the way that I got my 700 dates in a year. If you want to learn how to meet people on the street, in clubs, etc. then “Dating To Relating From A To Z” is your textbook for that.

Question: Mr. L. Rx, is there any kind of body language that turns women off?

Answer: The biggest turn off that women have told me about is guys who communicate sexual innuendos and put attention on sex via their body language. Don’t confuse this with being sexy. Women like body language that makes a man sexy.

What they don’t like is body language that communicates that a guy has nothing but sex on his mind. So when a guy is telling a story or a joke, and pretends like he is grabbing or squeezing a part of a woman’s anatomy, that is a turn off. Guys who are constantly touching and grabbing at a woman they are with or talking to, can also be a turn off.

Where you eyes go when you first meet a woman can also be a turn off. Obviously a guy who looks at a woman’s breasts or butt as his first instinct can be a big turn off.

Then there are traditional turn offs – slovenly appearance, not standing up straight, slouching, not holding head up. Posture can be a big turn off for women. Posture can indicate whether a man is confident or not.

These are some of the things a man can do with his body language that will turn women off.

Mr. L. Rx

The Thought Of Approaching A Woman Paralyzes Me – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/2/12

admin — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:13:33 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am not just shy, I am deathly afraid of women. The thought of approaching a woman that I am attracted to paralyzes me. What kind of advice can you give a guy like me?

Answer: Well, if I was talking to you, I would ask you a bunch of questions to clarify what exactly it is that you are afraid of. But since I don’t have that luxury, let’s proceed as if you are a typical “scared” guy.

Most guys who are scared of approaching are afraid of being “rejected.” Rather than be rejected they would prefer to not even approach a woman. Some guys are only afraid of being rejected in front of other people, while many are afraid of rejection itself.

The “fear of rejection” is simple to handle. Don’t create a situation in which you can be rejected in the first place.

Walking up to a woman and asking her for a date, or walking up to a woman and telling her how beautiful she is, and how much you are attracted to her puts you right smack dab in the middle of a “rejection” scenario. Even light flirting can put you in a rejection scenario.

Here is all that you have to remember: If a woman is attracted to you or likes you, she will keep the conversation or other interaction with you going. So the subtlest form of flirting or approaching is just talking – talking the same way you would talk to a woman that you weren’t even attracted to.

Then only when a woman shows you that she is interested in you (by keeping the interaction or conversation going) do you attempt to stick your neck out and flirt. If she doesn’t show any interest at all, it is simple. Don’t flirt – just keep it friendly.

You might make a few mistakes on reading women, but if you approach it this way you won’t get rejected very often. Better yet you will be able to read with fairly good accuracy when a woman is interested in you.

So how do you begin such “interactions?” Well, ask the time. Ask directions. Give a nice friendly smile and a “hi” to someone standing next to you in line. Talk about the weather or recent newsworthy events. Do and say things that friendly people do and say. This allows you to deny that you are flirting and prevents the possibility of “rejection.”

Remember although these approaches may seem mundane, if a woman is interested in you she will find some way to keep the interaction or conversation going. That will be your clue. And if she doesn’t – well, you are just a friendly guy. You weren’t making a move or flirting so there is nothing to be rejected over.

Mr. L. Rx

“Settling” – The Bane Of All Relationships – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/26/11

admin — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 22:56:09 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I have tried other dating systems with some success. The problem is I am successful with women that are not the kind of women that I would want to marry. How do you successfully meet the kind of woman you ultimately want to marry?

Answer: Compromise or “settling” is probably the bane of all relationships. Meeting lots of people and qualifying the people that you meet is the cure for “settling.”

For example, a guy’s ideal woman that he wants to marry is say, “a beautiful girl who has a friendly outgoing personality and wants to travel all around the world.” Once someone knows the type of person he or she ultimately wants, he or she should put energy into defining how they would meet such a person.

In the above example, we would ask, “Where do beautiful girls hang out?” “What do beautiful girls do?” “Where do friendly outgoing people tend to hang out, and what do they do?” “Where do people who like to travel tend to hang out and what kinds of things do they do?”

Ask tougher questions. “Where would someone who is beautiful, outgoing, and likes to travel hang out? What kinds of things would they be doing?”

Then get busy putting yourself in those places and doing those things that these type of people would do. This is how you will find people who are actually “prospects” – people who potentially have all the attributes you are looking for.

But finding prospects is not enough. You have to qualify them when meeting them. Perhaps she IS beautiful, but that is not enough. Observe what kind of personality she has and ask her about traveling.

Even if she is beautiful with a great outgoing and friendly personality that won’t be enough if she doesn’t share your dream of traveling all around the world.

The only mistakes you can make are not defining where to meet these kinds of people in the first place and “settling” for people who only have one or two of the many attributes you are looking for.

I usually don’t call my first dates a date at all but a meeting. I am meeting someone to qualify them to see if they have all the attributes that I am looking for in a person. I won’t even have a second “date” or meeting unless they have all the attributes necessary for me to continue seeing them.

Must guys seem to be too scared or nervous on a first date to think of qualifying anyone. But don’t make that mistake. The more dates you have with someone who really isn’t a prospect, the greater the chance is that you will go into agreement with that situation and compromise your integrity and “settle.”

It is totally ok to “meet” people. But qualify them when meeting. And if they don’t qualify instantly – move on. Life is funny. It seems to give us “tests” or “challenges.” Life tries to trick us into settling or compromising our integrity.

Life beats most people. They settle and whether a day, a year, or a lifetime later they live to regret it. But when you refuse to settle, sooner or later life “gives up” with the tests and challenges and hands you what you really want on a silver platter.

So meeting people, qualifying them, and keeping your integrity, my friend, is how you will successfully meet the kind of women you want to marry.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Handle Competition When Meeting Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/19/11

admin — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 17:58:18 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do you handle competition from other men when going out and meeting women and on internet dating sites?

Answer: Well, the first thing I would do is assess how much competition the other guy really is. Just because a guy is interested in the same girl as you, does not make him necessarily competition. Just because he is talking to a girl you like does not make him competition.

Now if he knows what he is doing better than you do, then sit back and watch him work. You can learn things from other guys that you can apply at a different time.

Also he might be a good guy to hang with if he attracts women – or better yet – the same kind of women that you like. Hanging out with a guy who attracts the kind of women you like is a definite plus. Girls may be attracted to him, but not everyone will like him once they talk to him. There may be lots of opportunity to meet women by hanging with him.

Now, if a guy doesn’t know what he is doing, that can be an advantageous situation also.

I once had a friend who was attracted to the exact same type of women as I was. He was a lot more aggressive than me. He would approach all kinds of attractive women all night long when we went out.

All I did was stand next to him on his approaches. His technique was so bad that girls got tired of him in about two minutes. At just about that point in his approach, the girls would typically start talking to me to “escape” him.

I was recently divorced and shy at the time, so this worked like a charm for me. This guy unknowingly became my “wingman.”

So I guess my point is that one way or another, you don’t have anything to lose by guys trying to move in on what you consider your territory. If the guy is good, you’ll learn from him. If he isn’t, he will assist you.

But if you have a situation that you can’t handle, for example, a guy who makes you jealous, or a guy who is neither good nor bad and just interferes, the solution is simple. Talk to him about being cooperative and taking turns being each other’s wingman, and if that doesn’t work then don’t go out with him when trying to meet women.

Internet dating sites is entirely different. Most women get tons of emails when they first appear on a site. It is a good idea to be one of the first ones to email them as sometimes they get so many emails they get overwhelmed and take their profile down, or they won’t bother to read any emails after the first couple of hundred or so.

So put a good message in the subject line, that way if they are not opening emails and just judging by subject lines, you have a chance. Also Saturday mornings and Saturday afternoons are times when more people check emails online. After Friday night’s failures people are just a little more interested in seeing what is out there. If you email at that time you might ace out a few competitors.

Mr. L. Rx

What To Say On The First Phone Call – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/12/11

admin — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 17:45:47 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: What do you say to women when you are calling them for the first time after meeting them?

Answer: I speak to women on the phone the same way I would if I were talking to them live. Basically I try to “qualify” them to see if I am interested in pursuing anything further with them.

It is basically an interactive conversation based on what I ask and what comes up in response to my questions.

I let my own interest guide me. I don’t have a set patter of questions. I ask what I want to know about a person and as I ask more and more, usually more things come up that I want to know.

I try to get a feel for their personality and their interests to see if I feel they are compatible with me.

Women can tell I am qualifying them, and they like that. It shows that I am sane and not needy. If I am interested in them they will feel a little special as they know that I am not interested in just “anyone.”

I ask very common questions like, “What do you do?”, “What area do you live in?”, “Where are you from originally?” to get the conversation going, then I ask questions about their answers after that. “Do you like doing that?”, “Is that fun?”, “How long have you lived there?”

I don’t ask all these types of questions in a row. Usually I will ask one of the above and then their response leads me into other questions. When I exhaust a line of questioning, then I will ask another basic question.

I try to listen to what the woman says as much as possible and qualify her by asking more questions. Talking about myself doesn’t qualify her and I do that as little as possible – only in response to her questions.

So for example, if I ask a woman, “What do you do?” and she says, “I am an accountant.” I might then ask, “How do you like that?” If she says, “I like it a lot”, I would probably come back with, “Really, why is that?”

I try to ask a lot of open-ended questions so the woman can talk a lot and I can see what kind of personality and interests she has.

This is really not difficult stuff, especially if you let your own interest and curiosity guide you. Just ask the things you want to know, listen a lot and ask some more.

Women like guys who listen. I close 90% of my first dates for a second date so listening is not something that will ever hurt you.

Mr. L. Rx

Her Body Language Says She Likes You – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/5/11

admin — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:02:12 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, what is the best body language sign that a woman likes you?

Answer: Well, the best body language indicator is to look at “motion toward” and “motion away.”

People generally make a motion toward things that they like, things they are attracted to, things that interest them. They similarly make a motion away from things they don’t like, things that repulse them, and things that do not interest them.

So when meeting women, I generally constantly monitor these motions.

If I say “Hi” to a woman and she says “Hi” back and smiles and asks my name, those are “motions toward”. Similarly if I were to say “Hi” to a woman and she were to ignore my gesture, turn her back and walk away. Those are “motions away.”

The above are clear indicators of interest and disinterest. But it is not always that easy. Sometimes you might say “Hi” to a woman and she says “Hi” back with a smile, but then walks quickly away.

What does this simultaneous “motion toward” and “motion away” mean?

Well we usually call this mixed signals and it can mean a variety of things in various situations. You simply need to observe the patterns and understand them before you decide to act one way or the other on the signals.

In the case above, it could mean she is interested but has a date or a boyfriend nearby. Or it could mean that she is a tease, trying to set you up to get “stuck” on her.

That is why the best pick up line, so to speak, is a simple “Hi”. Because if a woman is interested in you, she will make a “motion toward” and keep the conversation going no matter what you say. If she is not interested she will bolt as soon as you give her a chance.

Now people can be interested and leave the conversation at an appropriate point. This is not a “bolt.” And people who leave at an appropriate point will usually leave with some indication that they will be back, or perhaps they have given you a phone number and suggested that you call them some time.

Normal human reaction is a pattern of “motion toward” and “motion away – a person moves towards something they are attracted to, them moves away, then moves towards it again, then moves away, etc.

People who just make “motions toward” (or an imbalanced pattern of motions which are considered too much “motion toward”) would usually be aberrated – such as stalkers, and those we consider “clingy”, etc.

The whole point of my writings in Dating To Relating From A To Z, is to teach men (and women) how to create “motion toward” in others. Motion can be created, directed and redirected. Motion does not have a predetermined fate. Learn to create and direct motion and you will become the master of your own fate.

Mr. L. Rx

Do All Women Play Head Games? – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/28/11

admin — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 01:36:46 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Do all women play “head games”? Or just a certain type?

Answer: Playing “head games” is not inherent to either men or women. It is more of a “personality type” issue. Unfortunately, a lot of dating gurus, of the same personality type, teach people strategies that are “head games.”

Most “head games” are uncomfortable unless you know the counter “head game.” The strategies that I teach are not head games but observational strategies and are usually received in a comfortable manner by others.

I would estimate that the majority of people do not play head games. However, a woman’s tendency for subtle communications can sometimes mistakenly be identified as a head game.

Most women won’t usually come out and say that they find a guy attractive, for example. Some men take this as a head game and wonder why women can’t just be direct like men.

But there is a difference here. Head games are usually designed to control or manipulate someone’s behavior in a somewhat heartless and careless way.

When a woman communicates in subtleties to a man, she is doing it for survival. Men are aggressive enough with women. If a woman gives a man encouragement to be even more aggressive, it could be a mistake that results in bad consequences. Most women want to check out the guy’s personality first before they give him any clear signals he can act upon.

How can you tell the difference between “head games” and “subtleties.” Well, there are books written by women instructing women how to play head games with men. Things like “never be on time”, “never return a guy’s phone call”, “always make him pay for dinner”, etc. are “head games” which are taught.

These strategies are not situational and are some misinformed woman’s idea of how to control “men” in general. What they don’t get is that these type of strategies only work on a certain personality type of man.

Don’t confuse these purposeful manipulations that women are taught to do to “all” men with subtle communications – such as a women “not” telling you she is very attracted to you while she goes out with you any time you ask. This girl isn’t trying to manipulate you she just wants to get to know you better before she decides if she wants to be your girlfriend.

In the final analysis, people have personalities and both men and women have different personalities types. Be wary of anyone who gives you advice that says ALL women or ALL men are like this….blah, blah, blah.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Act Around Attractive Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/21/11

admin — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 23:33:51 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, How do you act around very attractive women? I do OK with women in general but the way I act around average women doesn’t seem to work on very attractive women.

Answer: If you want to understand how to act around very attractive women, then get their viewpoint and realize what the average guy does to them all day long, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, from the time they are 16 or so.

Here is an example: I had a girlfriend once who would come home with about 15 business cards everyday from men who approached her and told her how beautiful she was and asked her out.

Her policy was simple. She would never go out with a man who approached her on the street no matter how attractive or rich he was. Because she was a very intelligent woman and it was apparent to her that the guys approaching her, were only interested in one thing – her looks.

These guys didn’t know her, didn’t have any other information about her, and weren’t really concerned about her personality. They were only interested in impressing her so that she would go out with them. They wanted a sexual relationship right off the bat. That was the only thing they were focused on.

They always told her how beautiful she was. How they had never seen a girl so beautiful and they would do anything to go out with her. Then they proceeded to talk about themselves forever in an attempt to impress her and get her to go out with them.

Sound familiar? Do you do this or some variation around very good looking women?

Very good looking women aren’t interested in guys who see them and immediately want to have a sexual relationship with them. A lot of very good looking women are super intelligent. If not super intelligent, they still have personality and interests that are unique to them.

They best advice I can give you is to act the same way around very attractive women that you would normally act around very “ugly” women. If you were talking to a woman you considered very “ugly” and had no interest in sexually, you would probably talk to her about normal things and if she exhibited some common interest or a nice personality you might be interested in interacting with her in the future in some way.

You would probably be a little “aloof” because you aren’t that attracted to her and wouldn’t want to give her any wrong signals.

Now if you could act this same way around very attractive women, you might find them hitting on you as the “most interesting” guy they have ever met.

For example, if you were talking to a very attractive woman and realized that she was funny and had a nice personality and told her that, never once mentioning that she was beautiful and that you were attracted to her, you might find that on a subsequent date it would be hard for her to keep her hands off of you.

I have been doing this for years and it works ninety percent of the time. Try it and it might work for you.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Move From Friends To Lovers – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/14/11

admin — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 01:50:47 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl at my school always plays with her hair when she talks to me. Other dating gurus have said this is a sign that a girl is flirting with you, but I am not sure. What do you think?

Answer: Well, I have heard the myth too, and it is mostly that – a myth. Most women play with their hair out of boredom. If you observe closely you will see that the women who play with their hair do it all the time in a lot of situations even when talking to other girls.

I think the myth got started because if you flirt back with a women who is bored who you think is flirting with you, she will probably get into it and flirt back with you, so it looks like she started it.

If you want to know if a women is flirting with you, there are a lot of better indicators than the “playing with her hair” thing.

Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you convert a friendship into a lover?

Answer: The biggest mistake I see guys make who end up just being friends is to not “test the waters” romantically. Some guys are just friends with a girl and never make it known that they are interested in her romantically. They never flirt or do anything romantic. So they create a friendship and nothing else.

If you want a romantic relationship you have to let a girl know that is your intention even if you are “just friends.” Depending on how well you create the romantic part she might change her mind even if she originally just wanted to be friends.

The other mistake that I see a lot of guys make is to not recognize that the girl is absolutely not interested in them romantically. These are the guys that do make it known that they are interested in a romantic relationship but still get relegated to “just friends.”

Needless to say, these guys are usually making all kinds of “dating” mistakes. They would stand a better chance if they backed off romance and concentrated more on just being friends.

Question: My best friend always interferes with me when I am approaching women. He will come over and start monopolizing the conversation to the point I can’t get a word in edgewise. What do I do?

Answer: Get a new best friend is the obvious answer. One that helps you meet women rather than hinder you. Short of that, turn the situation to your advantage. I had a friend who did the same thing to me. I would just point out hot girls to him and say “let’s go talk to her.”

He would do all the talking and I would just listen quietly, after about five minutes he would establish himself as a jerk to the girls and they would start talking to me to escape him. Worked every time and I never complained. The wrong thing to do is to compete with these kinds of guys. Either get new friends or learn to use their motion to your advantage.

Mr. L. Rx

What To Talk About When You Meet A Woman – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/7/11

admin — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 18:41:04 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do I ask a girl who I am seeing to be my girlfriend?

Answer: My experience has been that if you have to ask, something is wrong. Most of the time, relationships evolve naturally. You start dating someone, you like them, so you see them more and more. You lose interest in seeing other people. My “girlfriend” conversation is usually simple. After a month or two, I usually find myself saying “Are you dating anyone else, because I am not.” They invariably say “No, I stopped seeing other people. I am just dating you.”

But if you have to ask, do it like women do. Don’t be confrontational – “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Say something like “So we have been going out every week for 4 weeks now, does that mean I am your boyfriend?”

At least that will open the subject and you will find out where you stand.

Question: Do you think it’s a good idea to have a couple of regular stories lined up for the first few minutes of a conversation with a woman when you try to approach and meet her?

Answer: Well, I think it is much better to have a couple of questions lined up for women when you first meet them. Guys who go on-and-on talking about themselves tend to bore girls. Show that you are interested in her by asking questions.

But don’t work a list for too long. Listen to what the person says. Ask more questions based on what they just said. That shows that you are listening and are interested.

It does help to have questions lined up for different situations, however. The kind of questions you might ask a women at a social gathering, and the kind of questions that you might ask passing her on the street may be entirely different. You may want to work those out ahead of time and have them ready to go for different situations.

Question: I called this girl that I met and asked her out. When she asked me when I want to meet, I told her “Today, tomorrow, or any other time you want to meet.” Was that the right way to respond?

Answer: No, That sort of makes you look like a desperate loser. It would be better to show her you have some sort of life and that you are not available anytime. A simple response like “I am busy Saturday and Sunday night, but I am open Friday, sounds like you have a life. If she says “Too bad, Friday is the only night I can’t, then set something up for the next week.

If you really can’t wait to see her you could always call her back the next day and say “My Saturday night gig was postponed so if you would rather move our date up to Saturday, I can do that now.”

Mr. L. Rx

How To Keep Your Romance Going – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/31/11

admin — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:28:57 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do you keep your romance going after you have been with someone for several years. Isn’t it natural for things to get boring?

Answer: Well, it may be common but it is not natural. It is common because most couples fail to continually create their relationship. Both men and women are guilty of making a “romantic” effort to get someone and then stopping that effort after they “get that person.”

Romance is something that you have to continually create in order to continually experience it. What is romance? Well it is listening to your partner and showing them you care by doing those little things that please them.

For some women, it may be opening car doors, and giving them your coat when it is cold. For others, it might be a box of chocolates and flowers. For yet others, it just might be listening to them talk about their day. In other words what people consider romantic will vary from person to person.

In general, however, romance is something that must be done outside of the bedroom as well as in it….you know, shopping with your girl in the mall, holding hands as you walk, having a sexy conversation and flirtation at lunch. Little kisses and touches throughout the day.

Anything that lets your girl know you are thinking of her is romantic. So bringing home her favorite pastry, or picking up something for her at the store that you saw and knew she would want, would be romantic.

A surprise vacation, or a weekend trip can also be very romantic, but big romantic efforts, though well appreciated, don’t do as much good in creating romance as the little daily romantic efforts that show you are continually thinking of her and care.

One of the better ways to create romance is to continue doing whatever you did to get the girl in the first place and to figure out new and better ways to do those things.

If you have a relationship, then obviously you did something right and you were successful in “romancing” her to begin with. But all too often people expend much energy and effort to do all sorts of romantic things to get someone to be their girlfriend or to marry them. Then after they get married or move in together, they feel like they don’t have to make the effort anymore because they “got” the girl.

Wrong way to think. If you want to keep the girl and keep you relationship fresh and romantic, you have to continue doing whatever you did to get her in the first place. You have to keep doing it over and over again, you have to think of new and better ways of doing it, and you have to do this forever. (Or at least as long as you want to have a relationship with her!)

If you do this you will find that romance can last a lifetime and never get boring.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Meet A Woman And Get Her Phone Number – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/24/11

admin — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:22:47 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on how to meet a woman and get her phone number visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you get a girl to give you her phone number when you are walking down the street, or see someone you like in a mall?

Answer: Well, there are many ways to get a girl’s phone number, but this situation is probably the hardest of them all. Spotting some random girl walking down the street and trying to get her phone number when you don’t even know her and only have about a minute to stop her and try to get it, is not easy.

The majority of guys see a girl they are attracted to and 90% of the time they will make an instant decision that they would like that girl for a girlfriend and would like to have sex with her. Guys are very visually oriented.

Girls on the other hand, even if they see a guy who is very attractive, won’t immediately desire to have sex with that guy or be in a relationship with him. Girls are more inclined to want to check out the guys personality first and know something about him before committing to “acting on their interest.”

Now this is what the majority of each sex does. There are exceptions. But for simplicity’s sake let’s continue.

Most women will rule out or disqualify a guy whose only interest in them is sexual. When a guy walks up to a girl and expresses his desire to have a relationship with her based only on her looks, that is an immediate disqualifier for most girls. Even if she gives you her phone number, she probably won’t answer the phone or return your calls.

On the other hand, most girls like it when they know a guy is “checking them out” not only for their looks, but for their personality and mutual interest. Women will be likely to give their phone number to a guy who is checking them out.

So if you want to stop a women on the street, or in the mall, or in the store, and have a brief conversation with her that ends in getting her phone number, the first thing you have to realize is that the conversation shouldn’t be about how “hot” she is or how “good” she looks.

Instead, become adept at quickly spotting something about her that creates a conversation about mutual interests, or personality characteristics. For example, stopping a women on the street and commenting about what nice taste she has in clothes, and asking her for some quick advice on where to buy clothes like she has, could lead to getting her phone number. Your excuse could be that you are on your way to work, as she is, and you would like to ask her some more questions, but simply don’t have the time right now.

Stopping someone getting out of their car, and asking them questions about their new Toyota could lead to getting their phone number so you can ask them a few more questions as you are looking to buy the same model.

When you have these kind of quick conversations, girls might know you are also interested in them, but they won’t really care. They will like the fact that you are not focusing on sex and will feel safer talking to you. They will answer your calls and they will return your calls when you leave a message.

The hard part is coming up with a quick topic to talk about that is relevant to the girl you are stopping. That just takes practice. The more you do it, the better you will get at it.

Mr. L. Rx

Is It Okay To Lie To Women To Pick Them Up? – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/17/11

admin — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:56:48 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, some of the men’s gurus advocate telling lies to women to pick them up. How do you feel about that?

Answer: Well that is actually a tough question. I advocate telling the truth to women as a general rule, however there are no absolutes. It is actually “harmful lies” and “harmful truths” that should be avoided.

What is a harmful lie or a harmful truth varies with personality type. Telling one woman that she is “fat and ugly” might inspire her to do something about her looks and help her improve herself. Telling another woman the same words might depress her and make her want to “never go out again.” So in one case the truth helps and in another it harms.

So, as always, exact actions are situational and appropriate to a set of circumstances. Knowing when to say what may be an act of diplomacy. However if you are not a diplomat and you just need a rule of thumb to follow then, in general, I always advocate telling women the truth. This is especially true when meeting women for the first time.

I know a lot of guys who try to impress women by lying not about major things (Like “I own a Bentley and live in Beverly Hills” ) but about their likes and desires. Things they think won’t harm anyone if they lie about it. Things that just help them “get the girl”.

So, for example, a guy doesn’t like being a gentleman. He doesn’t like opening car doors, and holding hands, and buying flowers. But he pretends like he likes it and does it anyway because he feels he has to do this to get the girl. He doesn’t perceive this as a harmful lie, when in fact it is harmful to both himself and the girl he is dating.

Why is it harmful? It is harmful because he is misrepresenting himself and ultimately that will come back to haunt him.

What typically happens is the guy will be a gentleman until he “gets” the girl. So when he is confident she is his girlfriend, or she moves in with him, or in some cases it might be when she marries him, he then stops doing these things he doesn’t like as he now “has” the girl.

Now the girl became the “girlfriend” or moved in with him, or married him because she thought he was a gentleman and liked that about him. But because he lied about who he really was it all starts to unravel when he “gets” the girl and stops acting like a gentleman. It ends in a breakup or divorce. Thus the lie was ultimately harmful to the relationship itself.

It is much better to tell a woman the truth and, in this case, find a woman who doesn’t need or want you to be a gentleman. This way you can continue to be who you are after you get the girl and your marriage won’t fall apart because of a lie.

So if you don’t quite have the ability to be situational and want a guiding principle then this is it. Always tell the truth.

Mr. L. Rx

Why Do Women Like To Play Games With Guys? – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/10/11

admin — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 22:08:31 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Why do women like to play games with guys? Why can’t they just be like men and be honest about their feelings?

Answer: Well, women are no more into games than men. In fact, it is a personality “type” that is into games not something characteristic of either men or women.

There are many personality types among both men and women. Some types are very direct and truthful in their communications. From my experience, this is a minority of people.

There is another personality type that is responsive to direct honest communication, but is also responsive to playing games. These people can go either way depending on how you approach them.

So be careful in your approach. A lot of men consider that women are “playing games” because when a guy walks up to them and says he is attracted to the woman, she doesn’t respond with an equal statement even if she is attracted to the guy. Instead she coyly “tests” the guy.

Now you might consider that you are being straight forward and not playing games with the woman when you approach her and tell her you are attracted to her, but this woman might think otherwise. It is a matter of viewpoint. From your viewpoint you are not playing any games and she is.

But, let’s look at it from her viewpoint. From her viewpoint, any guy that approaches her purely on her looks and says he “likes” her or is “very attracted” to her, without knowing anything about her personality is into the “sex” game.

From her viewpoint, relationships have a lot more to them than just “sex.” So when a guy approaches her like that, she doesn’t see that as a straight forward, honest guy. She sees it as a guy who is playing the “sex” game. This same girl if approached differently may not respond with a game but be capable of responding with straight forward communication.

If you approached this same girl and said you were attracted to her looks, but that you would like to talk to her for a while to see if her personality was as attractive to you as her looks. She might respond with some good honest communication because now she sees you as a straight forward guy. A guy who is honest enough to say “Hey, you are cute, but I don’t know anything else about you. I want to make sure you are not some insane woman before I could ever possibly hook up with you.”

Then of course there are personality types that are into games, and there is nothing you could say or do to get them out of “games.” You just have to learn how to beat them at their own games.

The main thing to realize, however, is that it is personality that determines whether a person plays “games”- not their gender. Learn and observe personality types and you will find your self more causative in human relations of all kinds.

Mr. L. Rx

If She Cheats On Him, She’ll Cheat On You – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/3/11

admin — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 00:29:15 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: My ex-girlfriend is routinely cheating on her new boyfriend with me. How do I work this to get her back?

Answer: Well, my answer to you is why would you want her back? If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. You should drop her like a hot potato.

I am constantly amazed that there are people gullible enough to think that someone who cheats on someone else with you, would never cheat on you. Cheaters cheat! That is what they do. And if you are going to get involved with a cheater, do yourself a favor and don’t take anything they say seriously. Use them for whatever it is you want, then get the heck out of there.

A decent girl, if she did cheat with you on her new boyfriend, would immediately break up with him and go back to you. Or break it off with you again and go back to him and never do it again. Sometimes passions lead to indiscretions, but the fact that she is doing it continually speaks to a personality flaw – not an indiscretion.

Now you might be jealous and want her back, but you need to just stop and look at what you are doing. Do you really want her back, or are you just hurt and trying to get her back to feel better? Do you even like her? Did you ever like her?

I had a friend who had a mutual break up with a girl and then she got a new boyfriend real quick and he didn’t get a new girlfriend. Well even though he was okay with breaking up, he now got real jealous and wanted her back.

He would go out as “friends” and get her drunk and she would cheat on her new boyfriend with him. He did this routinely and started convincing himself that he loved her and wanted her back. (Prior to the break up he only talked about what a problem she was and how he never wanted to marry her.)

This went on for a year or two and he was obsessed with her and didn’t go out with anyone else. Finally she started cheating on the new boyfriend and him with another guy. After this he began to see her personality flaw again and eventually backed out of the whole thing a lot wiser and smarter.

He wasn’t a bad guy and didn’t cheat on her while she was cheating on the new boyfriend but all in all it was a mess.

Unless you are a player and know how to deal with such women, stay away from anyone who wants to cheat on someone else with you. It is not a good omen – just trouble.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Get A Date With A Woman In Three To Five Minutes – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/26/11

admin — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:02:11 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I work in a nice Italian restaurant where I take orders from the clients and prepare their food right in front of them. Thing is, there is usually a line-up and I have a limited time to get her interested. What can I say in the 3-5 minutes to get myself a date? My usual trick if I’ve chatted with her a bit is to leave her a dessert in a take-out container and fix a little note inside with my number. Works maybe half the time and I get a call or text but they always seem to be busy week after week, I don’t like to look clingy – thinking it’s a test each time – so I give up after a couple of tries. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: The main ingredient that you are failing to serve in the above scenario is “Future.” Meeting women and creating a relationship is all about “Future.” “Future is something that you have to establish from the first moment you meet them.

What is “Future”? “Future” is a reason to see or talk to you again “in the future”. Think about it. A relationship is nothing but “future.” A relationship is an agreement with someone that you will do something with them in the future. No “future”, no relationship.

Now for most women, the fact that you like them and think they are cute (which they can determine by your dessert and note) is not a good enough reason to see you again in the future. All that means to them is that you are sexually attracted to them. Believe it or not, this does not make you special because they probably get this each and every day of their life from many guys.

Now if you went about creating “future” with these girls properly, not only would they call you back and not be busy, but they would probably ask you for your number or give you their number in the first place.

So how do you establish future. Well in that three 3-5 minutes that you have, you have to discover something that these girls are really interested in and something that you can offer with respect to that that has nothing to do with dating or sex. This will make you unique and different from all the other guys who are just hitting up on them and will create attraction.

So for example, you notice that the girl is a great or sharp dresser. So you compliment her on that. “Wow, you have really nice taste in clothes. Where do you buy your clothes?” (Now obviously she is interested in clothes. That is why she is a sharp dresser.) She says, “Oh, thank you, I get most of my stuff from Petros on First Street.”

You say, “You would probably like that new shop in the plaza.” She says, “Which one?” You say, “I forget the name but they really have nice stuff there that seems like your style. I go by it all the time I just can’t remember the name right now. I will check the name the next time I go by and ask me the next time you come in.”

Now you have given her a reason to talk to you in the future that isn’t dependent on you being sexually attracted to her. Establish mutual interests and value in the future each and every time you talk to her in the restaurant or when she calls you on the phone. Gives her reason and motivation to call you again or return your calls.

She might even give you her number in the restaurant rather than you having to slip her a note, or if you do slip her a note have it say, “Call me in a few days and I will give you the name of that store.”

This is only one example, there are a thousand ways to be creative when establishing future. It may be a little hard to think of ideas at first, and you may even think of what you could have said hours later. That’s ok. Keep working at it and soon it becomes natural and easy to do.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Get A Girlfriend Back – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/19/11

admin — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 21:40:38 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: In your book you talk about getting a girlfriend who broke up with you back. How do you do that exactly?

Answer: Well this is probably one of the most difficult tasks there is. Mainly because you have to first of all, see exactly what you did to blow it, and then be willing to change your behavior to correct that.

Seeing exactly what you did to blow it is the hardest part. This is hard because it is usually mixed up with an emotional reaction that wants to win the girl back even if you shouldn’t.

The hardest part about all this is staying objective. Particularly if you are dumped, there seems to be a reaction that wants to get the person back to prove them wrong or just to get even by dumping them after you get them back.

So, what should you do. First of all, you must assess if the girl is worth getting back. Now don’t be swayed by her looks. This is where personality really counts. Did you get along? Or could you have gotten along if you had honestly treated her differently. You have to be real honest in your assessment. Getting someone back that you really don’t like and can’t get along with isn’t going to end up in a good place.

If you can honestly determine that you feel you did some things wrong and that if you stopped doing those things you could get along, If you can honestly determine that you can actually stop the offending behavior and make a total change in your behavioral pattern (In other words you won’t go back to the offensive behavior shortly after you get her back), If you can honestly determine that the offensive behavior was not really you anyway and is not how you want to be, then you have a chance of changing and having it stick.

Now once you determine she is worth getting back and that you can change your offensive behavior and live with it, the next step is to apologize. Tell her that you did some introspection, that you realize you did some things wrong and exactly what you did wrong and why it was wrong.

If you do this right, she might believe you are really willing to change. If she has to tell you what you did wrong and why, she won’t believe you.

If she is just tired of it all, she may not be willing to give you a chance, so the next step is to assess if you have any chance at all. The way I have done this is in your conversation where you are telling her all this and asking for another shot, if she says “no” or “no way”, ask her if there is any chance at all that she thinks it could work. Ask her if there is a 50/50 chance? A 10% chance? Or even a 1% chance.

If she admits that there is a chance (even a 1% chance) then you do have a chance of repairing the situation, if she says absolutely not and sticks to her guns no matter how much you apologize and offer to change, then I would say you don’t have a chance and it is time to give up.

If she does admit to a chance, then you have to change your offensive behavior immediately and you have to give her time and space to see the change. No one is going to believe you have changed after one or two days or even one or two weeks. After a couple of months they may begin to believe the change is real.

So give it some time. Don’t expect a full relationship with all your privileges right away. You will have to earn her love and respect again. But if you keep at it and you have really changed you will eventually win her back.

Mr. L. Rx

How Do Women Interpret What We Say? – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/12/11

admin — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 00:33:55 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do women interpret what we say to them?

Answer: Well, as usual, my answer is that there is no “mythical” woman. All women have different personalities just as we do. Different personalities will interpret what we say or do in different ways. Sometimes they will even interpret what we say or do in the same way, but the same words and actions will create different reactions in different women.

The trick to success is knowing different personalities, recognizing the exact type before you open your mouth, and saying the appropriate thing in the appropriate manner when you know the type.

A simple smile and a “Hi” to one type of personality will be a very effective approach meaning you are a nice guy who is interested. However the same words and smile to another personality type will mean you are just interested in sex and they shouldn’t trust you.

There are some universal communications however, that you should be aware of. For example, when you approach a woman in a bar, club or on the street, the simple approach will be interpreted as “romantic interest.” Rightfully so. Most men approaching a woman in those situations are doing so because they are romantically interested.

Knowing that, you sometimes need to negate that simple communication with words and actions, as the truth is most personality types will be disinterested in you when you approach them solely based on their looks. This means to them that you are interested in them romantically and that you only want sex because you don’t even know anything else about them. The better looking a woman is, the more true this is.

If you approach a woman in a bar or club and you say and do things to negate your “romantic interest” – like not talking about anything sexual, not complimenting them, and not having a grin on your face that gives your intentions away. If you just have a normal conversation with them as if you were not interested, they will interpret this in a different way.

They will see you as a guy who is either not interested in them or who is checking them out. Either way you will get less blow offs, because they won’t see you as just some crude guy after sex. In fact, you will usually create an attraction towards yourself by such behavior. When they start making little flirtations with you, then it is safer to respond appropriately.

Of course you will lose the occasional girl who is looking for an aggressive guy who will flirt with her, but truth be told, in bars, clubs, and meeting random women on the street, that is 1 in a 100 or more. The better looking the woman is, the odds become even worse.

So there is mo magic answer here. The best advice I can give a guy is to look at things from the women’s viewpoint. Some things are not as complicated as they may seem. I once dated a girl who was so beautiful that she came home with 15 business cards every day from men who approached her and told her how beautiful she was. Now put yourself in her position. How would you interpret what those men wanted? How would you feel about that if you were a beautiful woman who also had a brain? What would you be looking for in a man who approached you? Good looks? Or someone who might notice that you also had an intellect and could have a decent conversation with you?

Put yourself in the woman’s position. You might find that it is not that hard to figure out how women interpret what men say and do.

Mr. L. Rx

Do Guys With Money Or Looks Get All The Girls? – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/5/11

admin — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 00:29:57 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, isn’t it true that guys with money and/or looks get all the girls?

Answer: Well it doesn’t hurt to have money and/or good looks. However, there are plenty of guys with money and looks that can’t get girls or can’t get the kind of girl that they want.

Money and looks are attention factors. They attract attention, but you still need to know what to do with the attention to close the deal. Money is an even bigger attention factor than good looks. Don’t believe me? Try putting an ad in a newspaper saying good looking guy is looking for a girl, then put an ad saying wealthy guy is looking for a girl.

Guess which one will get more responses?

Does that mean that women are all “gold-diggers”?

No, not at all. It just means that money is a bigger attention grabber than good looks.

So if you have money or good looks, use it to get attention, but it will not close the deal for you. That takes personality factors.

I know guys with money and or looks who can’t even get one girl, and I know guys with money or looks that get dozens of girls – but none that I would touch with a 10 foot pole. So when it comes to getting the girl we want, the playing field is leveled.

There are other ways to get attention than money and looks. Putting yourself in a position where there are lots of girls and few men will get you attention. Saying the right thing to the right personality will also get you attention.

One time I just started pounding on the bar counter top until the female bartender noticed me. Believe it or not, I got her attention and I went out with her. So you see there are many ways to get attention.

The key to all successful relationships is knowing what to do after you get that initial attention. That is when the good looking and rich guys lose any advantage they might have initially, because money and looks don’t tell you what to do next to get the kind of girl you want.

A guy who knows how to observe and communicate appropriately to the personality he is trying to meet has all the advantage after he has gotten the girls attention. That is why I can close 80-90% of the women that I meet. Because I know what to do after I get their attention.

Also an observant guy who knows how to communicate can use these skills to get attention. So you see the guy who learns how to observe and communicate has the total advantage ultimately over the good looking and rich guys. Now when a good looking or rich guy learns how to observe and communicate – watch out!

(But luckily there are a lot more women than there are good looking and rich guys who know how to communicate, so there are still plenty of women for the rest of us. )

Mr. L. Rx

Get Women To Approach You – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/29/11

admin — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 23:24:04 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, is there a way to get women to approach you rather than always having to be the one who approaches? I have extreme anxiety over always having to be the one to approach a woman.

Answer: Yes, there are ways to create women approaching you as opposed to you approaching women. Many guys have “approach anxiety” after being shot down one too many times. Of course, you want to overcome that fear and one way of overcoming it is getting experience with women and getting them to approach you first.

Some of the more complex ways are in my book “Dating To Relating – from A To Z.” However, here are some of the more simpler ways.

Personal ads and online dating services. Placing a personal ad or a profile on a dating service gets women to approach you first to make contact. It is the simplest method I know. You don’t ever have to approach women on these services. Place your ad or your profile and let women come to you first.

When you are out and about, try to go places where the male-female ration is in your favor. Don’t go to places where there are 20 guys and 2 girls. Girls won’t need to approach you in such places as there will be plenty of men approaching them.

Go instead to places where there are 20 girls and 2 men. Now you will find that women are competitive and will start approaching men. Where are such places? Well dance classes, cooking classes, knitting classes, etc. It will be different in each community. Just look around and find some places where it is mainly women in attendance, and find a way to be a part of the group.

I know an average guy, who was a security guard at a women’s gym, who was getting hit on left and right. Needless to say, he loved his job.

Finally, there are qualities you can exhibit that will get women to approach you. It is not always about being a handsome guy. A well dressed, well mannered guy will get attention from and attract women. A courteous gentleman will get attention and attraction from women. A man who is known to listen to women will get the same.

Women also like men who are confident. So posture, attitude, the way you walk or talk can exhibit confidence and attract women.

The more complex methods involve positioning and motions and observation of personality characteristics. Everyone is different and what creates attraction and approach from women will vary with different personality types. However, the simple techniques I mention above will get you started in the right direction.

Mr. L. Rx

Men And Commitment – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/22/11

admin — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 00:11:07 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: My girlfriend is always getting upset with me because she wants to get married, right away, and I don’t. I am unsure about her for a variety of reasons, but when I try to tell her what the problem is she won’t listen. She says I am a typical man with commitment problems, and that is the problem. How do I handle this?

Answer: There is a myth in our society that men have “commitment” problems. Sure some men do, but probably no more men than women.

The real problem is that a lot of guys want a sexual relationship so bad that they will compromise their integrity and will have a relationship with a woman they are really not ultimately interested in just to get sex. In other words, a lot of guys lie about how attracted they are to a woman.

Ultimately this leads to “noncommittal” but it is more a situation of “ I can’t commit to you” for most guys rather than “I can’t commit.” The myth then is conveniently used by guys as a good reason to draw the sexual relationship on a little longer, or to have the woman break up with the guy.

So we end up with a myth that “guys can’t commit” which is a lie, and the unseen truth that most women are unaware of is that “guys will lie and compromise their integrity just for sex.”

Most women on the other hand are not as needy as guys sexually and don’t compromise what they are looking for in a partner as frequently as men, just to have sex.

So you my friend are not typical as you seem to be willing to dispel the myth and at least tell the girl the truth of why you can’t commit to her.

The fact that she won’t listen and wants to dispel your comments as just having to do with the myth, indicates she is a little insecure and is perhaps afraid of what you might have to say.

So you have to approach the topic in a less threatening way then perhaps you are now doing.

One way might be to just “go with the flow”. If she wants to believe you are a typical guy who “can’t commit” don’t resist that concept and tell her what is wrong with her (which might be threatening to her) instead just say “you are right” you are a typical guy who has problems committing to anyone. But say you want to change and need her help.

Tell her you have considerations that you have to overcome, and even though they may be silly and contrived, that you need to discuss them and overcome them in order to overcome your fear of committal. You need her to be sensitive and genuinely discuss your considerations.

If you set it up this way, you might get her to listen and discuss your true feelings. There are probably many ways to soften the impact of what you have to say and get her to listen, but whatever you do you have to take the focus off of criticizing her to just getting her to discuss your feelings.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Break Up With A Woman – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/15/11

admin — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 00:15:12 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, is there an easy way to break up with someone?

Answer: Wow, what a good relationship question. And the answer is that it depends on the persons involved. It can be easy or very hard.

I have had relationships where we laughingly realized we are not right for each other and parted as friends with laughter and smiles and stayed friends afterwards. Then I have had relationships where I never wanted to speak to the person again, and vice versa.

In general, the more of a “surprise” there is in the break up event for either party, the more upsetting it is to get the break up news. So, one of the things that you can do to make it easier on everyone is to express your doubts as soon as you feel them. It is easier to handle doubts when they first arise and haven’t built up. If not handleable, then at least you got it out in the open early and there won’t be a sudden surprise if you want to end the relationship.

Being truthful the whole time you are in a relationship also makes the eventual break up easier if it occurs. Don’t ever lie to women and make them think you are more interested than you are just to get sex.

If you have mixed feelings, it is better to tell the truth. You probably will still get sex, but no one will be taken by surprise if it doesn’t work out. You might even be able to break up and remain friends.

So not lying, you can probably deduce, rules out cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend. Cheating is a lie, and it leads to a lot of hard feelings.“Finding out” is usually rather sudden. If you feel like cheating, be honest and tell your partner that you feel like cheating on them and why. It is much better to discuss it and either repair the situation, or break-up than cheat.

Losing your own personal integrity probably does you more harm in the long run then it does to the person you cheat on. If you are the kind of person who cheats because you simply can’t or aren’t ready for a monogamous relationship, well that is another situation that is best handled with honesty.

I have had many multiple relationships in my life, but I have never cheated on anyone or lied to anyone about my intentions. I have found that there are plenty of women who either will let me have multiple relationships or they want the same thing. I don’t consider these type of relationships “girlfriends”, just people that I am dating in between committed relationships.

But in any case, I have never had anyone break up with me because I was seeing someone else. The breakups I have had have always had to do with other “compatibility” issues.

So in final analysis, breaking up IS hard to do. But good honest communication the whole time you are in a relationship can make the break up (if it eventually happens) a lot easier to deal with in the end.

Mr. L. Rx

Places To Meet Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/8/11

admin — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 23:56:09 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Where are some of the best places to meet women besides bars and clubs?

Answer: Well anywhere and everywhere can be a good place if you know what you are doing. However, whenever you can get yourself in a position of being the only guy or one of a few guys amongst a lot of women, you will find that women become more aggressive and there is less work for you to do to meet them.

For example, I once went on a job interview to be a “steward” on an airline when there were mainly just “stewardesses”. There was myself and about 20 hot women in the room. Three of the women hit on me by the end of the introductory class we were taking.

So try to go to places that predominantly women usually go to – ballet class, knitting classes, yoga, arts and craft events. Try getting a manicure or a pedicure. Take a cooking class. Sign up for community or charity work. Take a dance class. Try browsing the romance section of a bookstore.

Anywhere where there are lots of people means there will be lots of women. So malls, grocery stores, events, supermarkets, amusement parks are also good places to meet women.

Places where there is a continuous flow of women can also be good. Places like Starbucks, or other coffee shops where you can hang out can also be a good place to meet women.

Eat alone at a diner – I have been hit on by many a waitress. This is especially good if you come back several times and they can get to know you. Mall and stores in general are good for this reason too. Once you see a woman that you like working in a store, it gives you a low stress way to come back and get to know her over time.

You can also focus on the type of place that would attract the kind of women you like. If you like party girls then go to bars and clubs. If you like spiritual women, try church functions or meditation or yoga classes. If you like healthy women try gyms or health food stores. If you like artistic types try museums and art galleries.

Another obvious way to meet women who are single is to go to singles events, mingles, cruises, etc. and of course online dating sites and singles advertising sites are how I got 700 dates in one year. The advantage of single events and sites is that you don’t have to figure out if people are in a relationship or not.

The bottom line is there are women everywhere and anywhere. So if you just stay aware you can meet women anywhere. However, trying some of the above might help increase the odds.

Mr. L. Rx

What Do Women Mean By “Chemistry”? – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/1/11

admin — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 23:55:03 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: What do women mean when they say that they don’t feel any chemistry with you? Is that just a nice way of saying you are not very good looking?

Answer: No, not at all. The majority of women don’t have as much of a physical requirement on looks as the majority of men do.

This is sometimes very hard for guys to understand as the majority of guys are always attracted to good looks as a first requirement.

When I went on my 700 dates in one year, one of the things I did is ask questions of each date. “Chemistry” was one of those things that bewildered me at the time, as I thought it was just a nice way of a woman telling me I was not attractive to her. And of course by attractive, I only thought of it as a physical thing.

What I found out is that very few women defined “chemistry” as having anything to do with looks. Instead it had to do with emotional connection, communication, some “unknown” magical quality, mental connection, etc.

Women told me stories of meeting guys that they thought were unattractive at first but then having a conversation, and by the end of the conversation they thought the guy was the most attractive guy in the world.

Indeed communication seems to be the most important factor in creating attraction or chemistry on a first date or meeting. I usually close about 80-90% of the women I meet on a first date for a second date. I create “chemistry” most often by simply listening to what a women had to say and asking questions that I am interested in knowing.

Showing genuine interest in someone usually creates some sort of a “chemistry” feeling towards you.

Question: What does it mean when a woman says she just wants to be friends?

Answer: Well in terms of the above question, it usually means that you failed to create any feeling of sexual “chemistry” between the two of you.

Usually this happens when a guy is trying to be interesting. When you try to be interesting, you create a sort of “entertainment” value for the woman. She will find you funny or “interesting” or a “good listener”. But if you are not showing her that you are interested in her, she will not get that feeling of “chemistry”.

She gets that feeling of chemistry when she feels that you are genuinely interested in her. Most women want a guy who is interested in her. But you also have to create “sexual chemistry.” You do that by showing subtle sexual interest in her. If you are “just” a good listener, and show no sexual interest in her, then no matter how interested you are in her otherwise, that will be a mistake too.

Sexual interest at a first meeting is best communicated subtly. Telling her how beautiful she is constantly, or focusing too much on sexual topics in your conversation will usually backfire on you with most women.

Light non-sexual touch or contact, moving in close then away, finding nice things to compliment about her personality will usually communicate sexual interest in a way that excites most women.

Wait for her to return the sexual interest by subtle indicators, and take it to the next level only when she returns your interest.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Act Around Attractive Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/25/11

admin — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 23:45:17 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you act around very attractive women?

Answer: The same way that you act around most women, with one exception, realize that they get guys hitting on them most of the time and your approach would be more successful if you don’t mention how beautiful or good looking they are as the first words out of your mouth.

If you want a good looking woman to remember you or be impressed by you, then you have to be different than the other 10 guys who approach her each and every day of her life. So, “you are so hot” and “you are so beautiful” just don’t quite cut it when it comes to making you different from all the other guys. Have a normal conversation with her as if she weren’t the most beautiful girl in the world. What would you say to her if she was ugly?

Do you have something in common? Do you like something she is doing? Did she say something interesting? Is there something you would like to know about her? These are just normal approaches.

Don’t act like she is any different than anyone else until you learn a little more about her personality. If you can watch her from a distance for a time you may learn enough about her personality to know exactly what to do when you start your approach.

Remember, not everyone has the same personality, and though a lot of good looking women may have social persona that is generally similar, when you break through that they all have different personalities.

Personality can dictate exact opposite approaches. With certain personalities you can be very direct and flirty, with other personalities you have to be the exact opposite – indirect and getting them to flirt with you rather than you flirting with them.

Question: Mr. L. Rx how do you stop guys from messing up your approach or ruining your game?

Answer: Well that is simple, if you have friends who don’t cooperate and help you approach women you are interested in, if you find that they are competitive instead, then have a talk with them and see if you can work out a game plan that leads to both of you helping each other.

If that doesn’t work, then get new friends, or at least hang out with different guys when you are going out to meet women. No use hanging out with guys who are constantly interfering with and messing up your game.

Sometimes when you do that, guys who didn’t respond to the talk, will now ask why you don’t go out with them anymore. Tell them the truth. Say they always mess up your game and you do better without them. You might find them a little more cooperative after the second talk.

Mr. L. Rx

Should I Take Dating Advice From My Women Friends? – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/18/11

admin — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 00:39:55 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I am a guy, should I take advice from my women friends regarding dating?

Answer: Very good question. First of all people are individuals, so on an individual basis there is no precluding one sex as being smarter than another.

That being said, I haven’t met a woman yet who completely understood “how to meet” or seduce women. Most women (and most men for that matter) simply tell you what to do from their own perspective. Not many people take into account your personality when giving advice or the personality of the female you are approaching or relating to.

However, I believe there is immense value in talking to women about relationships. The value is in asking them questions that you want to know and getting the answers – not in taking advice from them.

And the real value is in meeting lots of women and talking to them about relationships and asking them questions. When you talk to one hundred women for example, you will probably get an accurate perspective on things. You will find out that when you ask the same question, 50 women answer “A”, 20 women answer “B”, 10 women answer “C”, 10 women answer “D” and the other 10 are all over the place “E” through “Z”.

Now after this you will have a better understanding of women because you will know what “most women think” but you will see that personality produces different answers and attitudes about life. You might decide that you like the personality of the 10 women who answered “D” or the 1 woman out of one hundred who answered “K.”

So my answer is yes, ask your women friends all kinds of questions and get their advice, just don’t take any one friend seriously. Keep meeting and asking women or friends all kinds of questions until you have gotten many, many answers from many, many women.

Question: There are several guys at my school who are really successful with girls. Should I approach these guys and ask for help, or advice, or will that seem too nerdy?

Answer: Well again people are individuals, so not knowing these guys it might be worthwhile to approach some of them and not worthwhile to approach others.

You can also observe these guys without asking permission. Watch them in class or in the halls socializing. See what they do that is successful and what is not. Make sure you look at the type of girls their actions are successful with. They may be successful with a type of girl that you would not be attracted to. What they do with that girl may not work on the type of girl you like.

Get beyond looks. You may be attracted to the way a girl looks, but you will have to live with her personality. Pretty girls have different personalities too. They are not all the same.

If you think some of the guys might be willing to help you, ask them. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But remember, just like the girls in the question above, talk to lots of guys or find a guy who has a personality like you and see what he does. Make sure he is attracted to the same type of girls you are. Just because he has a personality like you doesn’t mean he will be attracted to the same type of girls.

If you talk to lots of guys and observe their personality and the personalities of the girls they approach, you will be able to get maximum value from their advice. Just remember most people tend to talk in generalizations centered around how they see things from their viewpoint.

Mr. L. Rx

Best Place To Meet For A First Date – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/11/11

admin — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 00:41:05 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, where is the best place to meet someone for a first date? Do you have to spend money on a first date?

Answer: Well, it depends on whether it is a blind date or someone you know.

As you may know from my book “How I Got 700 Dates In One Year” I have gone on many blind dates. I am so relaxed on a blind date that it is funny. I recommend that you always suggest to meet someone in a public place – like a Starbucks, or restaurant, or park, etc.

I also suggest that you just be who you are. I am not poor so I routinely invite women out to dinner on a blind date. It’s something I have to do anyway, and saves me time. My time is more valuable to me than the cost of dinner. However, that is just who I am now. There were times in my life when I couldn’t afford to do that, and I would invite a women to meet me at a quiet coffee shop. That is OK too.

Even when I meet women at a coffee shop, I will buy them their coffee – because being a gentleman is who I am.

However, do you have to do that? No. By all means, be who you are and establish it quickly. It is one of the ways you qualify your date and see if you get along.

I close 90% of the women I meet on a first date. I know of friends who go out with women and buy them dinner, etc. who close 0% of the women they meet. When I occasionally meet women at a coffee shop, I still close 90% of the women I meet. So, it is not about money, it is just being comfortable in your own skin no matter what you do.

Chose a quiet place where you can talk. It is important to talk and listen on a blind date. Blind dates are usually discovered from the internet or personal ads. Here is a prospect that is interested in a relationship of some sort. This is my prospecting time. This is my time to find out if I am interested in this person and see if we could be compatible. Going to a movie or some place noisy where we couldn’t talk wouldn’t allow me to find out what I need to know.

Now it is different if I am going out on a first date with someone I have already met and qualified. Now I am looking to have fun, romance, or maybe even a seductive time. So I may go to a movie, or hiking, or to flea market or shopping, etc. I am now looking to use the experience as an “attraction” builder. I am looking to be romantic and flirt and have fun. I don’t need to do as much talking as I will be using more body language and other physical subtleties to romance and seduce her.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/4/11

admin — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 23:24:42 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you get an ex-girlfriend back?

Answer: Well, it is not easy, but I have done it by using all the relationship technology contained in “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. The real question is “why would you want an ex-girlfriend back”.

Most of the time guys want ex-girlfriends back for mentally unhealthy reasons, like jealousy, make wrong, feeling rejected, etc.

I have seen guys totally unhappy with a woman in a relationship and negotiate a mutually agreeable break up only to get totally jealous when the woman gets a new boyfriend before the guy gets a new girlfriend. Of course the guy then totally decides he made a mistake and wants her back.

This is, of course, crazy. He didn’t like her. That is why he broke up with her the fist time. If he gets her back, he won’t like her again. What he really wants to accomplish (whether he consciously knows it or not) is to get her back so he can dump her and get a girlfriend this time before she does.

There is only one valid reason to get an ex back and that is if the ex was a really good woman, your ideal candidate so to speak, and you blew it by treating her badly. Now if this is the case and you can acknowledge what you did was wrong, and you are willing to change the way you treated her and start treating her right, then getting her back can make sense and be a mentally healthy thing to do.

So how do you do it? Well people are individuals and there is no valid generalization that I can make to tell you what to do to repair a specific messed up situation. However, if you did discover you were not treating her right, it starts with that. Stop treating her badly and start treating her right. Acknowledge that you know what you did was wrong. That will go a long way. If you can acknowledge that you know what you did was wrong without her having to spell it out for you, it will be more believable when you say you are not going to do those things anymore.

When I did it, I was in a situation where we had a mutually agreeable break up. On my own, after a few weeks I examined the relationship and decided I hadn’t given it a fair chance. I decided it was worth my best effort. When I approached her to get back together, I was surprised to learn she had already started dating another guy who had proposed to her and she had accepted and was engaged.

My work was cut out for me. To make a very long story short, using all the relationship technology I give you in “Dating To Relating” it took me three months but by the end of the three months she had broken up with the new guy and was back with me. Within another three months we were engaged.

So can an ex-girlfriend be recovered? You bet they can, but it takes a lot of hard work if they broke up with you or have found a new boyfriend. It is not something you want to consider doing lightly, and especially not something you want to do because you are jealous or want revenge. Most of the time you just need to accept that you were not compatible and just move on. But if you have a rare exception to the rule, then I suggest getting a copy of “Dating To Relating – From A To Z” to learn all the details of how to do it.

Mr.L.Rx

Monogamy – Dating To Relating For Men – 6/27/11

admin — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 00:29:07 +0000

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have trouble being monogamous. How do you get yourself to accept only one woman?

Answer: Well, personally I have always been a monogamous man when I am in a relationship, such as a marriage or a girlfriend. However, when I am not in a relationship I am not monogamous. So I guess, I can understand a little bit of both sides of the coin. Of the two, however, I prefer monogamy.

The only reason I am not monogamous when I am not in a relationship is because I am still looking. I don’t want to tie myself down to one person while I am in the looking and exploring process, as it would curtail my looking and exploring and my ability to find my next monogamous relationship.

But that is me.

I have observed , however, that when guys can’t be monogamous, it is usually because they have never gotten out of the “looking and exploring” stage. There is still something that they are trying to learn about themselves or women, and hence are on a continual “search”.

If you find yourself on a continual search, you are not ready for a relationship. First thing you ought to do is admit it to yourself, and decide to finish your learning and exploring stage so you can move on someday.

How do you finish your learning and exploring stage – usually by having a lot of experiences. You need to meet and learn about a lot of women. Now the only thing you can do wrong when you are in the exploring stage is “lying”.

Don’t lie to the women that you meet and pretend like you want to have a relationship and that you can be monogamous when you can’t. You will get a lot further and have a lot more success with women if you are just honest and upfront and tell them that you are not looking for a relationship and that you can’t be monogamous.

I have done this several times in my life when I am in between relationships and believe it or not, while some women will reject your cavalier attitude, there are plenty of women who can accept you and will have a non-monogamous relationship with you if you are just honest about it. Sometimes they are looking for the same thing. Sometimes they are not. The key, however, is honesty. Honesty prevents people from getting hurt. It also helps people who are on a “learning” quest to learn and grow.

Sooner or later, if you are just honest and you meet and experience a lot of women you will satisfy whatever it is you have to learn and you will arrive in a space where you are ready and desiring a monogamous relationship. Everyone is different. For some people it could take a year, for others a lifetime. You just have to be willing to experience whatever it is you need to experience to learn and move on. Just remember to always be honest and truthful in your dealings with the opposite sex.

Mr. L. Rx

Approach Women, Attract Women – How To Develop Inner Confidence – Dating To Relating For Men – 6/20/11

admin — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 00:33:49 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do you develop inner confidence when trying to approach and attract women?

Answer: Well inner confidence is mostly something that comes from experience. The more women you meet and approach and talk to, the more confident you will be in the process.

However, the question is how does one begin, when one isn’t very confident. Begin by doing the thing that is least threatening or scary to you.

For some guys that might mean going online and approaching women online. So if that is the case start there and develop that skill. When you get good at it you will then start to meet these women in coffee shops and the like.

For other guys it might be placing personal ads that women respond to rather than emailing women on dating sites.

You can also apply gradients. Don’t start off trying to ask women out for dates. Just go to a mall and walk up to pretty women and ask them what time it is? But do this over and over again until you are completely comfortable with it.

Then you might try asking them a more interactive question, like “Where did you get that blouse? I have a sister who really likes that style of dress.” Questions like these will lead to more interaction than a plain old, “What time is it?”

Of course you can always combine the two. Ask her what time it is, and when she pulls out her cell phone or watch make a comment about how cool it is and ask where she got it.

You don’t have to ask women out or even flirt with them to get experience to build confidence or to build your inner game. Just talk to women at whatever level you are comfortable and keep doing it and doing it. Sooner or later you will get comfortable with it and a little flirt will slip out naturally.

Or you can just start practicing flirting. Start with lower gradients. Don’t say how beautiful she is and go on and on about it. That might scare her. Just make a casual comment and say it only once – “Wow, you have really pretty eyes” or “You have really nice complexion”, etc.

The only mistake you can make here is trying to approach this whole area on too steep a gradient and consequently not doing anything out of fear. Find the gradient that isn’t scary and do lots of it, and you will naturally start feeling more relaxed and confident with women, and you will naturally start doing more and more brave things. Slowly you will overcome your fears.

Mr. L. Rx

You Don’t Have To Be Good Looking To Approach Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 6/13/11

admin — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 22:31:29 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I am only 5’2″ (with height increase shoes about 5’5″). Should I not expect the same percent results using your techniques for approaching women as say an average height male?

Answer: We’ve been asked this question many times. It really doesn’t matter what you look like. Some guys find that hard to believe. Nevertheless, it is true. Personality and what you say and do will get you many more girls than your looks.

When I was 18 – 21 I was a very hot looking guy but I couldn’t get a girlfriend no matter how hard I tried. Now, balding, in my fifties I can go out with a different hot 20-30 year old woman every day of the week if I want. Why? Well, now I know what to do and what to say. Then I didn’t.

Does that mean that looks don’t count at all? No, I am not saying that. There are absolutely women who won’t go out with me JUST because I am in my fifties, or just because I am bald.

But for every one of those that I lose there are 10 or 20 that I now gain because I know what to do or say to women. You see for most women, “looks” is not the deal breaker, personality is. So… WHO CARES about looks!

Attraction is a combination of factors. So yes, a good looking guy who did everything right would probably get more women than an average guy who does everything right. However, the variation in this is so great that an average or even ugly guy who does everything right personality wise can end up with more success than a good looking guy who does everything wrong.

I would even venture to say it is more likely an average guy who does everything right can end up with 10 times as much success as a good looking guy who only gets it half right.

No one get’s everyone. In fact, there are many girls who WON’T go out with a guy who is TOO good looking. I went on a website once that gave you statistics on the number of views and clicks that each profile got. The most good-looking girls and guys only got 15% clicks. Average looking people got 5-10% clicks, and even the ugly ones got 1-2% clicks. Astounding. Being good looking is an advantage but still an overwhelming 85% of the people viewing their picture didn’t click on it. It would seem unarguably that most people are looking for something else….

Dating To Relating will teach you how to be attractive to MORE women no matter what you look like. And guess what? Girls who don’t like old men, girls who don’t like bald men, girls who don’t like fat men, girls who don’t like short men, well that has nothing to do with their own looks. You will find hot women who like all or any of the above.

Will your percentage be as high as an average height guy? Well that depends on a number of factors, the least important of which is “how tall you are.”

Mr. L. Rx

Wanting You Rather Than “Needing A Relationship” – Dating To Relating For Men – 6/6/11

admin — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 22:23:08 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do I know a woman wants me rather than needing a relationship?

Answer: Meeting and deciding on people is usually a slow process when you don’t “need” a relationship.

So when you meet a girl and she wants to hang with you all the time, or is obsessed with you, it may seem flattering –especially if she says she likes you – but actually these are indicators that she just needs a relationship and is trying to get into one quickly.

When a woman doesn’t “need” a relationship, she will take time to get to know you. She won’t have sex with you right away, and she may be meeting or dating quite a few people.

A lot of guys get threatened by the fact that a woman is dating other men. However, I find it to be actually something I prefer.

I prefer a woman who goes out and meets a whole bunch of guys and a month or two later tells me I am the guy that she likes the best. This means that she likes me and she knows she likes me (and I know she likes me) because she has experienced other men and considers me the best.

When you are possessive with a girl, and she dates only you and gets into a relationship quickly because she is needy, you don’t really know if she likes you or she just needs a relationship. These are the kinds of situations that lead to breakups in a few weeks, months, or years as eventually people find out they are not compatible.

Question: How can I get a girl without becoming her best friend? This is what is happening to me now. No matter how hard I try, I can not get pass this barrier and see other guys sweep her off her feet. This is what always happens to me and relationships are lost because I finally can’t take it anymore.

Answer: Being a woman’s best friend is not a bad thing. Friendship leads to solid and long lasting relationships, and is the cornerstone of a good relationship.

However, you don’t ONLY want to be friends with a woman you are attracted to, you also want to have a romantic relationship with her.

The guy who sweeps her off her feet may have a similar problem to you. If he can’t be “best friends” and can only be romantic, his relationship won’t last that long and he won’t get what he ultimately wants either.

You need a balance in approaching women. You want to be friends but you also have to be romantic and definitely make it known from the very beginning that that is what you are looking for. The ability to go back and forth from being “friends” to being “romantic” will make you more of a complete person in her eyes and very attractive.

So don’t stop being friends with women, just learn how to flirt and spice it up with a little romance now and again.

There is a free eBook on our website entitled “500 Romantic ideas.” You might want to get a copy.

Mr. L. Rx

I Want To Meet Women And Have Fun – Dating To Relating For Men – 5/30/11

admin — Sat, 28 May 2011 18:34:15 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I am only 18 and don’t want to really settle down with one person yet, but I do want to meet women and have fun. What do you recommend?

Answer: Well first and foremost, I recommend that you are honest with the women you meet and tell them exactly the kind of relationship you are looking for.

Whether you want a traditional or non-traditional relationship, honesty is always the best policy.

I have personally had a variety of relationships in my life from one night stands to marriage and everything in between. One night stands, although perhaps not as advisable in this time of AIDS as when I did it in the 70s, are only hurtful when one person is playing another. When one person is lying and making it look like they want more than a one-nighter, it can be very hurtful.

When two people agree to have a one night stand because that is what they are both looking for, there is usually no hurt involved. Men seem to think that there are no women that are into one-nighters, but the truth is there are plenty. However, most women can tell when you are just trying to take advantage of them and lying to them. And although you may occasionally find a sucker, more women than not will turn down an offer from an obvious liar.

When you are truthful and just tell someone what you are really looking for you will find that there are usually plenty more women who are willing to co-operate with an honest guy then there are suckers who can be taken in by a liar.

Telling the truth is also very important when seeking a traditional relationship. Many guys lie and pretend like they like certain things to attract a woman. For example, a guy might be a gentleman and open the door for a woman, put his coat around her when she is cold, etc. when in fact it is a lie. He is not a gentleman, and is only doing those things because he wants to get the girl “in a relationship.”

Of course, when he then lands her as a girlfriend, he stops the chivalry after a while, which of course leads to complaints from her a short time later.

You see he was lying – pretending to be someone he really wasn’t and although lies may work in the short frame of things, in the long frame they will always backfire. If a girl is attracted to you because you are a gentleman or chivalrous, you can’t suddenly stop doing those things just because you are now married or she is now your girlfriend.

But the sad truth is when the actions are a “lie”, when a guy really isn’t a gentleman, and really doesn’t want to be chivalrous, he is going to stop doing it sooner or later because he really doesn’t like doing it. Or if he continues doing it anyway, he will build up resentment and start treating the woman badly in other ways.

The good thing about life is there is someone for everyone. You don’t have to pretend to be something you aren’t to attract people. Perhaps you may have to get a little better at learning how to meet people who would be attracted to you, but believe me there is someone who would like you just the way you are.

So when you meet people the best course of action is always tell the truth about yourself and what you are looking for.

Mr. L. Rx

“Experience” Is The Guru Of Meeting Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 5/23/11

admin — Sat, 21 May 2011 00:30:55 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: After reading Dating to Relating – From A to Z, what other steps do you recommend to take?

Answer: After or even during reading Dating To Relating – From A to Z, I recommend you get as much experience as you can meeting women. Try different situations. Go to malls, to clubs, to bookstores, to the park, etc. Go online and email, IM and text women on dating sites.

Talk to as many women as you can. Ask questions and listen to their answers. Ask them what you really want to know.

Set aside time to do nothing but focus on approaching, meeting and talking to women.

Listen, listen, listen.

Observe, observe, observe.

Question: How do you find a good long term relationship?

Answer: Long term relationships require a certain amount of compatibility and common interest. Long term relationships start with understanding yourself and qualifying the people you meet to make sure they would be compatible with your personality.

After you are in a compatible relationship, long term relationships require that you keep creating them. Too many people look at a mate as a possession. They do all kinds of things to get the mate into a relationship, then stop creating.

A good rule to remember is that whatever you did to attract a person into a relationship in the first place, you have to continue doing “even more of” and “better” once you are in a relationship.

Don’t build a relationship on lies. Don’t do things that you don’t want to do just to get someone. That will always doom a relationship to failure because you won’t be able to keep it up forever.

Question: I’m Puerto Rican, I just want to know, does this method work on any kind of woman of any nationality?

Answer: The principals I teach in Dating To Relating – From A to Z are universal. They will work on any woman of any nationality.

I personally have had relationships with women from every continent on earth and from every major culture. The interesting thing I discovered is although there are definitely differences between cultures, personality types are consistent culture to culture. There are more differences within a culture as a result of many personality types then there are between the same personality types from different cultures.

Question: How do you deal with rejection?

Answer: Well, first of all, I don’t set myself up for rejection. I always approach situations by communication on a gradient. And I also qualify women. I look for the type of woman I want and reject 90% of the women I meet as not qualified.

I select a gradient that tells me if a woman is interested without my being totally obvious. For example, when I approach a stranger on the street or in a store, I might say something neutral like “Hi, do you have the time?”

Now if a women is interested she will find a way of keeping the conversation going. If she is not, she can walk away. Since “attraction” was never mentioned or brought up, there is no sense of rejection.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Stand Out From A Crowd Of Guys – Dating To Relating For Men – 5/16/11

admin — Sat, 14 May 2011 22:39:46 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do you stand out from the crowd? If you are sitting down eating with friends, is this a viable spot to approach someone?

Answer: A lot of guys think that you have to stand out from the crowd physically to create attraction. Well that might be true for some guys. I mean if you are a great looking guy you will probably stand out.

However, I was a great looking guy when I was 18-20 years old and I couldn’t get a girlfriend for the life of me. I would attract them, but as soon as I opened my mouth and started talking I drove them away.

Now, although I am in my fifties and balding, I have more 20+ year old girlfriends then I ever had in my 18-20 year old prime.

Why? Well, later on when I was 25, I learned that it was motion, positioning, and what you said that made you stand out from the crowd.

You see, everything is situational. What stands out for one girl is boring and mundane for another. So the first thing you have to learn is to observe a situation and create the attraction factor specifically for that situation.

Walking up to a hot girl and telling her she is hot will not make you stand out from the crowd. You will be the fifteenth guy who has done that today.

Ignoring the plain looking girl in favor of her hot looking friend won’t make you stand out from the crowd either. You will be the typical guy to both girls. But ignoring the hot looking girl in favor of the plain looking one – well that just might impress them both.

Being afraid to approach the girl who is so hot she is intimidating won’t make you stand out from the crowd either. Running away to guzzle a few beers to build your courage won’t help. But simply walking up to her and asking her to dance the minute you see her… How many guys can do that?

You see every situation has different variables that make one stand out from the crowd. Start observing situations. What happens when you sit down and eat with friends? What do most people do and say to the type of girl you are interested in? How do they stand and move with respect to her?

Well don’t do and say that. Don’t move like that. Say something different. Do or say something different yet interesting and unique, and you will have instant attraction.

Here is an example: I was once at a party and there was a really hot woman who was surrounded by about 10 guys drooling all over her. I ignored her for about the first hour at the party and made sure she noticed me ignoring her. Then I walked by her and the 10 guys when I was strolling through the kitchen and I heard her say “I like weird people.” Without stopping I simply said as I walked by, “Well you would really like me ‘cause I am really weird.”

She dropped these 10 guys and was all over me in a minute. She was with me the rest of the party and we left together that night.

I stood out from the crowd because I was the only guy at the party ignoring her, and I was the only guy willing to state that I was weird – something she really liked.

So there you have it. Attraction is created by being interesting and unique. What is interesting and unique is different for different people in different situations. But if you observe long enough it will be obvious.

Mr. L. Rx

How Do You Know A Girl Is Interested When Talking – Dating To Relating For Men – 5/9/11

admin — Sat, 07 May 2011 00:41:45 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I’ ve tried just saying, “Hi” and being very neutral to a girl when I meet her, but for some reason they all seem to run away as fast as they can. I am not an ugly guy. What could it be?

Answer: Perhaps you are “telegraphing” your intentions. I know guys who can say a nice polite “Hi” but their intentions are written all over their face. Girls can read them right away and run away because they know the guys just want sex.

Try watching yourself in the mirror or ask some buddies what kinds of facial expressions or non-verbal behavior are you giving off.

Question: What do girls do to let you know they are interested when you engage them in some conversation?

Answer: Well, different personalities do different things. The most common response when a girl is interested is to keep the conversation going. No matter what you say or do, if she is interested she will respond to you and try to keep the conversation going in one way or the other. Of course you have to do your part.

If you ask a girl, “What time is it?” and she responds, “Three o’clock” you might have to come back with something to keep the conversation going like,“Nice watch, where did you get that?”

She might then respond at length telling you all about how she got the watch “to show you she is interested” or she might just say “at a store” and politely walk away, to show you she is not interested.

Remember she expects you to do your part, and if you don’t keep the conversation going when it is your turn to respond, she might think that you are not interested and give up.

Now, that is the average girl. Some people are not average and not normal. These are the ones that may do all sort of crazy things to show you they are interested – like ignore you, walk away, insult you, etc.

But unless you are a crazy guy who really wants to meet an equally crazy girl, I would just ignore the crazy communications and look for the women who respond. The ones who try to keep the conversation going when you approach them or engage them in a conversation are the easiest ones to understand.

If you want to understand the complexities of these kinds of situations across personality types then I suggest you get a copy of Dating To Relating – From A To Z.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Get A Woman Talking About Herself – Dating To Relating For Men – 5/2/11

admin — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 22:39:16 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on how to get a woman talking about herself visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: What can you say to start an attractive woman talking about herself?

Answer: Well, rather than saying something witty and clever it is best to ask questions. Qualify the girl, ask her anything you are interested in knowing about her. No better way to get someone to talk about themselves than to ask them about themselves and show interest.

Now of course, there are personality types that give you one word answers rather than elaborate. This makes it tough. However, this is not common. Most women are more than willing to talk if you as them questions. But for the few who aren’t and give me the short answers, I will ask multiple questions (trying to get at what I want to know from different angles) then make a comment about how I feel about the area of questioning.

I never have any problem holding a conversation with someone and that is what I do 90% of the time. However, I will qualify a girl on the phone first before I meet her in person. If she can’t hold a decent phone conversation, I am not interested and don’t set a date.

Question: How do I become successful just being the real me and not have to pretend to be someone I am not. I do not want to fake and lie.

Answer: The way you are successful just being yourself without having to pretend to be someone you are not is to meet lots of women and qualify the women for those who are attracted to your type.

When you don’t meet a lot of women, just an occasional girl, then when you do meet someone you are usually trying to impress her and “get” her to like you – after all you don’t get many shots at it.

When you meet lots of women, your attention starts to naturally go onto “qualifying” them. Finding the ones that you like, finding the ones that like you and the ones that are compatible with your personality. After awhile, you develop an attitude of rejecting women who are not compatible. And since you meet lots of women you won’t find it to be a big deal if someone is not interested in you.

Question: After you get past the stage where you only try to ask questions, and you have to have full conversations, what if you have a hard time thinking of what to say? I’ve had problems talking on the phone for long periods of time.

Answer: Questions are not “rapid fire.” You ask a question and if the person gives you a full answer that usually triggers a comment or more questions from you. When you comment, they might ask you some questions, or comment on your comment. Holding a conversation is usually quite easy when you have the right person. When the conversation doesn’t flow it might be an indicator (not always) that you don’t have a compatible personality type.

Mr. L. Rx

Overcome Shyness and Awkwardness When Approaching Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/25/11

admin — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 00:11:45 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on how to overcome shyness and awkwardness when approaching women visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I feel shy and awkward around women. I can’t tell them how I am really attracted to them. What should I do?

Answer: Well, that answer is different for different guys, and different for different situations. Best to check out Dating To Relating – From A To Z for a full answer to that. But here is an example of how I overcame my shyness in one situation.

I used to feel uncomfortable approaching women. If I saw a hot woman, I felt like walking up to her and saying “Wow, are you hot or what?” or “Will you marry me?” or “I’m in love.” Or “Hey, I just saw you over there and I’m really attracted to you.”

I thought the sequence of approach was something like this:

1) You have to approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose.

2) You have to tell her you are attracted to her or you won’t be able to create the chance of seeing her again.

Problem is I couldn’t bring myself to do it, too shy, too insecure about myself. So I would just let the opportunity pass. One day I finally sat down and I figured out that the real problem was I was uncomfortable with telling a hot girl exactly how much I liked her because I didn’t want to face the rejection (especially in front of other people) if she responded negatively.

Now prior to this I watched guys approaching girls and observed some gradients. I observed that it didn’t really matter what you said to a girl, if a girl liked you she would say something back. If she is interested in you she will keep the conversation going, if she is NOT she will end the conversation quickly and try to get away.

So I added some gradients steps between 1 and 2 above to make it less embarrassing for me if I got shot down.

1) Approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose.

2) Say something to her or someway attempt to engage her in a conversation or she probably won’t do it herself.

3) Say something neutral that will not embarrass you or be obvious to people around that you are hitting on her.

4) Watch her response – does she try to keep the conversation going?

6) Keep the conversation going. At some point add a slight “flirt” and see how she responds – something like “Wow, you have really pretty eyes.”

8 ) Now you have achieved step 2 (letting her know you are attracted to her)in the first example above because women are used to subtle communications, and she now knows you are interested in her and thinks you are really cool because you did it in normal way (not the usual guy way – “Wow, you are so beautiful!”)

With this one observation I worked out a gradient strategy that forever handled my uncomfortable feelings and shyness. My shyness was really about me not wanting to look stupid by getting shot down by some girl in front of other people. When I observed the motion between men and women and that it really didn’t matter what you said to a girl (if she is interested she will manage to keep the conversation going). I realized I didn’t need to tell a girl that I liked her and was attracted to her on the approach.

So my best pick up line became and still is today, “Hi!”

Mr. L. Rx

Seduce Women To Attract Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/18/11

admin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 00:35:50 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, what can a guy do to “seduce” a woman on a first date – not into bed – but to attract her to make her want to go out with you again.

Answer: There are certain qualities that a man can exhibit that seduce women. If you exhibit these qualities from the first moment that you meet a woman you have a better chance of establishing a relationship with her.

1) Posture- posture is one of the first things that a woman can see -even from a distance. Stand straight. Stand tall. Women will notice you from a distance. If you don’t have good posture, start working on it. Watch actors on TV and in movies. Look at the men that women consider sexy. Look at their posture.

2) Motion – how you move, the way you move is another attribute that women can see from far away. Slower, deliberate motions are usually more seductive than fast unthought out motion. Again watch movies, look at the men that women consider sexy. How do they move? What are their motions? Observe and learn. Imitate.

3) Dress well – How a man dresses can totally be seductive to a woman. It is a statement about you and your personality. Like posture and motion, dress can be seen from far away. Different types of women like different styles. Go to the mall, go to a party, go to church, go to work and look at women you are attracted to and watch how the guys they are with are dressed.

Now the above are things that you can do to seduce women from a distance, to stand out and to be noticed from afar. As you approach a woman, as you get closer, the following attributes come into play.

4) Use your eyes, your smile – As you approach a woman, as you get a little closer, your eyes and your smile will come into play. Flirt with your eyes. Look at her and let her know you are interested. Don’t be shy and look away. Let her be the shy one. A genuine smile can be very seductive. If you like a woman, smile at her. Use it throughout your conversation but don’t overdo it. Don’t fake smile. It is better to do nothing than fake smile.

5) Be clean and well groomed – even if you have a rocker look or a biker look or whatever, be clean. No one (except other dirty people) want to get with someone who is filthy or dirty.

6) Smell good – You don’t have to use old spice or anything, but shower before you go out. Some people have body order even after they shower. Know if you are one and then use deodorant and cologne as necessary. Gargle, use breath mints. Again some people’s breath smells even after they gargle. Know if you are one. Smoker’s breath smells and tastes horrible to a non-smoker. Some smokers even smell from as much as 20 feet away. Usually they are unaware of it. Be aware of your smell. Ask friends. Take care of all these things before you go out on a date or on the prowl. A good smell will attract and even seduce a woman.

Mr. L. Rx

“Future” When Meeting Women And Relating To Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/11/11

admin — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 19:36:01 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I visited your website where you talked about establishing “future” when you meet a woman and as you develop a relationship. Can you tell me a little more about that?

Answer: Sure. Future is the whole purpose you are trying to establish with someone when dating them. A relationship is “guaranteed future.” So if you want to establish a relationship with someone you have to start working on establishing future with that person right away.

On a first date, I always look to see if a woman tries to establish future with me. If she does, then I know she likes me. I also try to establish a little bit of subtle future with her, or better yet, I try to get her to establish future with me as the date progresses.

Rather than trying to establish future the obvious way – by asking a girl if you can go out again at the end of a date (and missing all the clues the whole time) – it is better to read her signals and give your own throughout the date.

And it is much better to mix your future with a common interest, rather than having everything focus on just going out with her again. Everyone wants future, but no one wants future with some obsessive, clingy person.

So if the conversation, for example, gets around to a mutual interest, like say Bruce Willis movies, and there is a new Bruce Willis movie coming out next week, that is the time to say “Hey, you want to catch the movie together? It would be fun seeing the movie with someone who likes him as much as I do.”

The biggest thing about establishing future is doing it right. Guys know they have to establish future with a girl. But telling some stranger she is hot, and asking her out on a date doesn’t work most of the time (it does work some of the time depending on the girl) and especially doesn’t work with hot girls. Because it gives the girl the impression (rightfully so) that the guy is only interested in sex.

So when the purpose of establishing future is obviously sex – most girls don’t like it. When the purpose of establishing future is to obviously check her out because you might like her if she has a nice personality and common interests – most girls love it. That’s what girls do. That is what they understand. You’ll score big if you do it this way.

So that is the theme in those first few dates leading up to getting intimate. Once you are intimate, the future factor changes. And the emphasis in the second stage of dating (post intimacy) is establishing just how much future and what quality future you want to have with this person? Do you want daily future, twice a week future, once a week future, etc. and what quality future – Lovers future, boyfriend/girlfriend future, no commitment future, marriage future?

Mr. L. Rx

How To Understand Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 4/4/11

admin — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 23:05:43 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I don’t understand women at all. They seem to be totally foreign to me – from some different planet. How do you go about understanding them?

Answer: We all know there are differences between men and women – mentally, physically and emotionally.

Sometimes we get confused by our lack of understanding of the opposite sex to the point where we want to explain everything with the viewpoint that “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars.”

It may very well be that men and women have vastly different emotional and mental viewpoints on life, but it is my experience and contention that those vast differences are actually pretty easy to understand.

The real problem in dating and relating is that there are happy Venutians, sad Venutians, angry Venutians, sarcastic Venutians, intelligent Venutians and stupid Venutians. And of course the same goes for Martians.

The point is there is more personality difference and variation between a happy Venutian and a sad Venutian then there is between Venutians and Martians in general.

The failure to understand personality, in general, accounts for more misunderstanding between men and women than the failure to understand the opposite sex.

When it comes to understanding men and women, we all might be a little smarter than we thought.

Be that as it may. There are guys that don’t get the basic differences between men and women, and there are women who likewise don’t understand men. The basic error is to think that the opposite sex thinks like you do, or to get upset when you realize that they don’t.

But that is a whole other topic. Best that you read “Dating To Relating – From A To Z” to get a better understanding of this. But in the meantime start paying more attention to personality. This is where you will begin to understand women. Find a woman with a similar personality to yourself, and you will be amazed at how easy it is to understand her.

Mr. L. Rx

Foreplay – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/28/11

admin — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 22:10:55 +0000

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am confused about foreplay. My girlfriend always says she needs more foreplay. What exactly is it?

Answer: A lot of guys think that foreplay is having to kiss your girlfriend or wife before she lets you have intercourse. Well a lot of guys think they are great lovers, but a lot of women have other thoughts about that…. I have different thoughts about foreplay.

Foreplay, what is that? Good question.

Foreplay is whatever creates a little sex flow between your girl and you and holds it there in place so she and you can think about it and enjoy the build up and anticipation of what is eventually to come.

Another way of saying it is that foreplay is what “gets you and/or your partner ready” for the sex act. Since guys are just about biologically ready for the sex act “all the time.” Guys seem to forget the value of foreplay, after all, it is something they have to do for someone else — not themselves.

Bad way of looking at it. Why? Foreplay is not just for established couples already having sex. Foreplay is what prepares a woman to have sex with you. Hence, any woman you would like to have sex with that you are NOT having sex with would require foreplay.

So, foreplay has a role in meeting women, attracting women, picking up women, dating women, having a relationship with women, and making love to women.

The best kind of foreplay is Romance….you know, shopping with your girl in the mall, holding hands as you walk, having a sexy conversation and flirtation at lunch. Little kisses and touches throughout the day. Getting so turned on that you both can’t wait to go home in the evening.

Foreplay can go on for hours and hours and hours.

When you are in the bedroom, foreplay is kissing and kissing and kissing, touching, touching and touching. It can be role playing, talking about your fantasies, taking a bath or shower together, feeding each other, or watching sexy movies – or whatever other little sexy games you are into.

But remember foreplay is not limited to the bedroom. Use romance as foreplay throughout the week, days, and hours leading up to the bedroom. Women like to talk, and talking (and you listening) can be a very sexy foreplay for a woman.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Compliment A Girl – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/21/11

admin — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 23:41:04 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: What is the best way to compliment a girl?

Answer: Well that is an interesting question, as everyone likes to be complimented to a certain degree, but there are limits to “what is a good compliment.”

Men tend to be physically attracted to women and make a point of telling a woman that she is “hot” or “cute” or “pretty.”

Now physical compliments will be appreciated by someone who doesn’t hear them all the time, but as soon as you meet a really “hot” woman who probably gets guys telling her that she is hot 10 to 50 times a day, complimenting her on her looks will start to backfire on you.

A woman like that will tend to think guys just want sex as that is all they ever seem to notice about her – how sexy she is – and won’t be impressed by those kinds of compliments.

Notice something about a “hot woman” that is not sexual and compliment her on that and you will score many more brownie points.

For example, tell her that you noticed she dresses well and has good taste, or tell her she has a nice cheerful personality, and if you have to compliment something about her physically, try to make it a non-sexual compliment like “you have really interesting eyes” or “nice tan”, etc. And when I say something that is a physical compliment I only say it once I don’t go on and on about it.

Whatever you do make sure it is true and sincere for you.

Now above I am talking about when you first meet someone. If a man meets a woman anywhere and within the first few minutes of meeting her, he is telling her how hot and beautiful she is, women will rightfully think he only has one thing on his mind.

As a rule, I never compliment a “hot” looking woman on her looks until the third date or so. This gives me plenty of time to establish that I like her for a lot of other reasons. But if I don’t compliment her sooner or later she might start to get a little insecure with me.

Some women, with attitudes, I will never compliment on their looks – no matter how pretty they are.

If the woman you like is not all that physically hot, then just compliment whatever you like about her. As long as it is sincere, it will be appreciated.

Mr. L. Rx

Body Language To Attract Women And Maintain Relationships – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/14/11

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 00:27:50 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on body language to attract women and maintain relationships visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.)

Question: How does the body language you use to attract a woman differ from the body language you use to maintain a relationship

Answer: How do the two differ? Well, for example, if you read the advice in most body language books you will see a lot of advice on using posture, stance, eyes, etc. to portray confidence. Women in general are attracted to confidence in a man. However, our guiding principle with someone that you have already established a relationship with is “keep doing whatever you did to attract the woman in the first place”.

Though it may be true that most women are attracted to men who portray confidence, perhaps your woman is not like the average woman and likes shy guys. Perhaps she was attracted to you because you didn’t portray confidence around women. Well, if that is the case, then flirting with your girlfriend or wife may involve going back to those non-verbal clues that you used to give off about your shyness and lack of confidence. Perhaps since you got your girl, you are no longer shy and lack confidence with her and perhaps that is now a “turn off” or “failure to turn on” for her.

You have to go back to what worked in the beginning as a lower gradient each and every time you want to flirt with her or seduce her. Perhaps she likes it when you are shy and she originates sex with you. Perhaps you then can become aggressive and un-shy when you get to the higher stages of sexual interest.

This is just an example. But the idea is to go back to your exact overall pattern of how you attracted her in the first place and the body language that worked for you in the first place. Obviously it worked.

Now that doesn’t mean you don’t simultaneously listen to your mate. If she complains that you do not stand up straight, or that you don’t walk along side of her or don’t hold her hand, she is giving you big clues as to the kind of body language she wants to see from you.

If you are smart you will pay attention to her clues and adjust yourself accordingly. It will undoubtedly please her and turn her on.

Question: Mr. L. Rx, Can you actually meet women with personal ads?

Answer: Well, yes you most certainly can. In fact I wrote a book entitled “How I Got 700 Dates In One Year” and personal ads was one of the two methods I used and still use to generate hundreds of dates a year. Craigslist and Backpage are two of the best personal ad forums on the Internet and there are many newspaper that run personal ads too.

In general, I find newspaper personal ads to work best but it does require a little bit of technique as most guys placing personal ads either get no or one or two responses per week. Over the course of my getting 700 dates in a year I averaged over 50 responses a week with my newspaper techniques. But that is too long a story for this column. I suggest you get a copy of the book if you want to learn how to get that kind of volume of dates.

Mr. L. Rx

Serial Dating To Meet Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 3/7/11

admin — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 01:26:33 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I hear you are a believer in “serial dating”. Why is that?

Answer: When I wrote the eReport “How I Got 700 Dates in One Year” it caused a little controversy — usually amongst women.

Many women think that multiple or serial dating is a no-no, something that only dysfunctional people do. Well I got news for you. Everything is situational. Anyone that has followed my writings would know that that is my theme.

First of all, I am very big on monogamy and have never cheated on a wife or girlfriend, but when I am between relationships I am equally big on multiple or serial dating.

Now I would be the first one to agree that a person who “multiple” or “serial” dates with no intention of ever doing anything else would have at least some major “relating” issues.

But, serial dating applied in the right context is not only not dysfunctional, but it is quite the opposite. Serial dating done to get a better understanding of the opposite sex, so you can figure out who you like, and what you like, and what kinds of people like you, is about the most mentally healthy thing you can do.

What do you think most parents tell their teenage sons and daughters?

They tell them: “Don’t get serious with one person, you need to date and meet a lot of girls/guys.”

Now believe it or not, this teenage advice can also be very good advice for adults.

First of all, most adults never followed their parents’ advice and dated lots of people. Most people seem to have a pattern of hooking up with the first “acceptable” person who shows them some real interest.

Unfortunately, there is a big difference between “acceptable” and “ideal” and also unfortunately most people usually continue this pattern of hooking up with the first “acceptable” person who comes along well into adulthood.

We call this “compromising” or “settling” and ultimately it leads to unhappiness in relationships, and a failure to understand the opposite sex.

You see there are many different types of people in the world and, believe it or not, there is someone for everyone. But the problem is you may have to meet a hell of a lot of people to find that one someone.

Another problem is that many people are so confused about life and relationships and people, they don’t really have any idea of what kind of personality is a good match for them. They base their ideals off of the Hollywood imagery of what they think they want.

The cure is simple. When you date and meet lots of people, sooner or later, you figure it out for yourself. It’s a natural process. You get comfortable with people, you realize that everyone is different, and that different types of people like different types of people. Eventually you figure out what kind of person you are and what kind of people you get along with best.

Mom and Dad’s teenage words of wisdom are good for everyone – or at least a lot of us. There are people who know what they want and don’t need to serial or multiple date to figure it out.

Mr. L. Rx

I Don’t Want To Be A PUA, I Just Want To Meet Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/28/11

admin — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 15:53:45 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I don’t want to be a pick up artist or a player. I just want to be able to go to bars or places, make friends and hang out with a group and they want to hang out with me and date a few girls until I find the girl for me. I want to be included and not be an outsider looking in. How can I do this?

Answer: Well, sounds like you are uncomfortable with women and perhaps people in general. And when you find yourself in such a condition, you have to start out with some basics and learn to get comfortable.

Learning is best done in gradients. If you try to do too high of a gradient too soon, you will fail.

So the first step in getting comfortable with people is to go somewhere where people interact and just observe. Observe them interacting and observe what seems to lead to successful interacting and what seems to lead to unsuccessful interacting. Yes, you will be an outsider looking in, but if you learn from your observations you won’t be an outsider forever.

When I got divorced from my wife who was also my first girlfriend and lover, I was very uncomfortable meeting women. But I forced myself to go out to crowded clubs every night for months. I would go there, stand at the bar, not talk to anyone (unless they talked to me) and just observe people all night.

Little by little I observed and learned what guys did and said that was successful and what they did and said that was not. I also learned what women seemed to like and not like.

It actually took me two months before I felt comfortable enough to talk to a woman and apply some of the things I had observed. But when I did, it worked. Then I started talking more and more and finally in another month I had my first successful sexual encounter with a woman I met in a bar.

Within another month, I totally mastered meeting women at bars and clubs.

I guess the moral of this story is don’t be afraid of experiencing uncomfortable situations. And don’t be afraid of failure. I have met many guys who are too uncomfortable to go stand at a bar for months being the “outsider looking in” so they stay at home and become the “outsider looking in” for the rest of their lives.

As long as you learn from “discomfort” and “failure”, discomfort and failure can be two of the best teachers you will ever have. Putting yourself in uncomfortable and failing situations with no intention to observe and learn from them is of course pointless. But putting yourself in the same situations with the intention to learn can lead to the fastest gains possible.

Of course it is also possible to avoid some of the uncomfortableness and failure by learning from people who have already done it and can pass on their observations and wisdom. Hence, there are people like me.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Overcome Fears When Approaching Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/21/11

admin — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 23:26:46 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2011 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do you overcome fears that pop up sometimes even when things are going good?

Answer: That is a good question. There are entire books that have been written on that subject. It is not an easy question to answer as it varies from person to person. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears usually involves lowering the gradient.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will start building up a “complex” about failing, and soon not try anymore.

If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary – not necessarily impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too.

The right approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.

Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears that pop up in meeting or dating women:

When I am approaching a beautiful woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how beautiful she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say “Hi.” If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn’t then I know she is not interested in me and the simple “Hi” just appears that I am friendly – not necessarily even flirting – so I don’t feel shot down in front of other people.

If I am starting to date a girl and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don’t ask her “Do you want to get intimate?” I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just watch TV at my house. If she doesn’t want to get intimate she certainly won’t want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my house. Or rather than trying to suddenly “kiss her”, I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will start touching me back to give me the go ahead signal.

Sometimes when I am fearful of confronting a woman about making a move, I even use “multiple choice” as a test of gradients. When planning a date and fearful to directly ask if she wants to come over to my house, I might say “Do you want to (a) go to a movie, (b) go out to dinner, (c) meet up with our friends at the party or (d) stay home and watch TV and cuddle.

That way I don’t feel rejected if she doesn’t choose (d) as I didn’t directly suggest that we had to do that. But if she does select (d) I know she is ready to take it to the next level.

When you feel uncomfortable and fearful just try to think of a lower gradient that isn’t as scary and allows you to make forward progress toward your goal.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Start A Conversation With A Girl – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/14/11

admin — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 01:26:58 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: What do you talk about when there is nothing to talk about. How do you spark conversation with ANY girl.

Answer: Good question. The best way to spark a conversation is to ask questions.

What do you ask questions about?

Well, I always just ask questions about anything I want to know. It varies from person to person. But typically if I am meeting someone new I might ask questions like “Do you have brothers and sisters?” “Do you get along with your parents?” “Do you have a lot of friends?”

Usually a person talks for a while when answering and that gives you more data to ask more questions about. Sometimes I will make a comment if it is appropriate or if they ask me a question in response to my question I just answer their question then ask them another one of my questions.

The hard times are when people just give you “yes” and “no” type answers. That doesn’t leave much to work off of.

When I feel the situation is awkward or the person isn’t talking much (like the above “yes” and “no” answers, then I talk about how awkward the situation is. Say something like “This is embarrassing. I feel so awkward. I don’t know what to say. Do you feel awkward too?”

Usually you can get a little conversation going on that topic and relieve a lot of tension just by admitting that you feel awkward and don’t know what to say. Then move into a question like “Ok, let’s see what we can talk about. What are your interests? Do you have any hobbies?”

Another questioning technique is to pay attention to what a person puts their attention on and talk about or ask questions about that. So, for example, if you are in a restaurant and the person you are dating isn’t talking much, just reading the menu, you might say “Kind of an interesting menu. What looks good to you?” That might spark a conversation about food or restaurants and menus, etc.

This technique is also good for meeting strangers. If you are in a grocery store next to some one attractive who is looking at “lamb chops” you might say: “I see you are interested in the lamb chops. Do you know a good way to cook them, I’ve always wanted to try them, but really don’t know how to cook them.”

Remember also that you are not necessarily going to get along with everyone you meet. So if you try, try, and try to get a decent conversation going and it doesn’t happen then this is probably not the best person for you.

Mr. L. Rx

Why Do Girls Flirt? – Dating To Relating For Men – 2/7/11

admin — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 01:07:29 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Why do girls flirt with you and when you flirt back they push it away? It’s so confusing!!!

Answer: First of all, women have different personalities. What you are describing is a type of personality not all women in general. The personality type that usually does this kind of behavior is a little insecure. They are testing the water, but they don’t really want to jump in.

The best way to handle this personality type when you see it is not to react, not to take the bait so to speak. Let the girl flirt all she wants, let her take the lead. Let her control how the relationship goes. If you don’t react, she will get comfortable with you and steepen the gradient over time. If you react (flirt back) she will usually run away.

Problem is, however, people with similar or compatible personalities tend to hang out together. So sometimes you can get the impression that the whole world is one way, when in fact it may be only a certain percentage of people who are like that. So if you tend to think ALL women are one way. Change your environment, go somewhere different. Meet different people in different situations and perhaps you will discover different personality types and perhaps one that is more compatible with you.

Now having said that, let’s look at it from a different angle. Women in general like flirting for flirting’s sake more than men do. Men will flirt because they are interested in a woman. Women will flirt to see if they get a reaction, to see if they are looking good and are desirable, even when they are not interested in a man. They will flirt with a guy they are only interested in being friends with.

One way to get better control of these situations is to look at all the communication channels that a woman is using to communicate – Like verbal, emotional, physical, mental, and sexual communications.

When a women likes you she is likely to communicate that she likes you across all of the communications channels. When she is just playing around she will give you conflicting communications. So when you see a woman flirting with you, but she does not back up the flirting by showing you she likes you across ALL the communication channels – don’t take the flirtation seriously.

Mr. L. Rx

Six Mistakes Guys Make On A First Date – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/31/11

admin — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 01:50:46 +0000

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: “What is the biggest mistake guys make on the first date that prevents ever having a second date or developing a sexual relationship (rather than a friendship)?”

Answer: Well, there are several mistakes a guy can make. Let me summarize the most common ones here. The biggest mistakes guys make on first dates are:

1) Talking about themselves too much. Trying to be interesting instead of interested.

2) Not asking questions and not listening enough.

3) Focusing too much on sex– either overtly or by innuendo.

4) Not using subtleties enough (What a woman understands)

5) Not developing sexual flow or interest.

6) Not creating future. (A relationship is all about future.)

The first mistake that most guys make is that they go on the first date and talk all about themselves, sort of strut around telling the girl that he’s got this car, and he’s got this job and he talks and talks and talks bragging about this and that trying to impress the girl that he is a good catch.

What a girl sees is a self-centered ego maniac that isn’t going to be able to take care of her at all, because he is not interested in her and doesn’t listen to what she has to say. Not a good relationship prospect.

Another way of saying it is that guys try to be interesting. They figure they have to be interesting for a girl to be interested in them. Sorry guys, but it doesn’t work that way. You have to be interested in the girl, not interesting to get her attention. Did you ever see two interesting people on a date. It is hilarious! They are both so busy trying to be interesting to the other that neither has time to be interested in the other.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, think what makes you feel better. A girl who is interested in you? Or a girl who is telling you how cool she is, how hot she is, etc. and all kinds of other interesting things.

Interesting leads to a lot of rejection and “platonic” friendships by the way. Girls will be friends with a guy who is really interesting. Why? Girls like to be amused and entertained. Interesting men are sort of like children to them. A source of non-sexual amusement and pleasure.

That is all we have room to talk about here, but you can get more data on the other five mistakes at: http://datingtorelating.com/products.

Mr. L. Rx

10 Second Personality Test When Approaching Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/24/11

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do I learn about her fast (just by approaching her) before I talk to her?

Answer: Well I have a whole chapter devoted to this in my book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z” and an article on my website called “Feet, Personality Theory and Dating and Relationships” you might want to check them out, but here is a quick summary.

The fastest and quickest way you can assess personality is by what I call observing “feet angles” and best of all you can see it from across the room or down the hall when approaching her.

What are “feet angles”? Well this is a term I coined to refer to the angle between a person’s two feet.

Let us use the face of a clock for an example. Look at the big hand and the little hand. They both start at the same point in the center of the dial, but the tips of the big hand and little hand point to different places. The two lines formed by the big hand and the little hand create an angle. The angle between them is measured geometrically in degrees.

A circle has 360 degrees. So in the clock example every minute would be a change of 6 degrees. So if we use 12 noon or 12 o’clock. The two hands are parallel and there is no angle, or 0 degrees.

When it is 12:05 pm the hands create what is called a 30 degree angle. When it is 12:10 the two hands create a 60 degree angle. At 12:15 the two hands create a 90 degree angle and at 12:20 the two hands create a 120 degree angle.

Now the angles between human feet don’t get much wider than that, so for our purposes let’s stop the geometry lesson here.

Now here is the thing, “feet angles” correlate with personality at about an 80% to 90% consistency. That’s a high enough correlation to make some quick predictions when meeting people.

So first of all, observe and know your own “feet angle”.

For example, if you have straight feet (parallel with no angle) you definitely don’t want to get involved with anyone with a wide angel. Find someone with as straight feet as possible.

In general, know your own feet angles and find someone who is the same or only a few degrees different. Here is the Maxim you can apply:

MAXIM:1 – You should not get into a relationship with anyone who is more than 2-3 minutes on a clock face or 12- 24 degrees (geometrically) different than your own “angle between the feet”. People who are more than 2-3 minutes, or 12-24 degrees different from you are going to have personality types that are too different from you and more or less incompatible.

“Feet Angle” personality typing isn’t perfect. It will only be right 8 or 9 times out of 10. But that is pretty good for a quick, easy-to-apply rule.

Mr. L. Rx

Why Do Bad Boys Attract Women? – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/17/11

admin — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 08:22:17 +0000

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Why is it the “nice guys” lose out and the “bad boys” attract women?

Answer: Well, we have all heard that myth, but I don’t think it is necessarily true. At least I don’t think it has anything to do with being a bad boy versus a nice guy.

I think there are other personality vectors involved that perhaps bad boys and nice guys have that are the defining qualities of attraction.

Bad boys tend to be less shy, but at the same time more confident in general than nice guys. I think that it would be these qualities that are attracting a woman not the fact that he is bad.

I personally have never used the “bad boy” approach, I am most always a perfect gentleman. However, I am not an easy catch and women can tell that immediately when talking to me. I am a little aloof, I don’t compliment women when I first meet them or tell them how beautiful they are, and most women don’t have a clue as to whether I am interested in them or just being nice.

That is what sets me apart from a “nice guy”. Women see me as a perfect gentleman but haven’t a clue if I like them or not. Women –especially very attractive women – like that. They are sick and tired of meeting men who fawn all over them.

Girls like guys who are interesting and unique. Attractive girls don’t find guys who tell them how beautiful they are to be unique. But a guy who has a pleasant conversation with them without mentioning a word about their beauty verbally or non-verbally – now that is both interesting and unique to a beautiful girl.

Also keep in mind that women have different personalities. And what is interesting and unique changes from personality to personality. A not-so-good-looking woman may find it totally interesting and unique to be told how pretty she is by a man. A woman who grows up in a society of perfect gentlemen, might very well find a guy who talks a little nasty and naughty to be interesting and unique. A woman who knows nothing but crude and ignorant men, would find a gentlemen to be a rare interesting and unique find.

You see no matter what you are like there is someone for you. But you have to define who that someone would be and then try to maximize how you would meet people like that. So no matter if you are a bad boy or a nice guy, put yourself in a position where you are interesting and unique to the women you meet and you will be successful.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Get Physical With A Girl – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/10/11

admin — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 17:48:04 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: How do you get physical with a girl you have known for a while (like 3 months give or take)?

Answer: Getting physical is something that usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless one or both of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the main thing that a man can do to handle that is learn how to observe and use gradients.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder that you climb to get to the top. Some guys may try to go to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable as well as the guy.

A guy who is uncomfortable in this area should learn both how to recognize gradients when women use them and how to use gradients on women.

Not every woman will start at the same gradient. Some women will start with a kiss after a first date, and move up gradually or rapidly from there – from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to intercourse. If a man tries to jump to the “intercourse” stage without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. Conversely, you can lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other women won’t even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, talking about sexual topics indirectly (for example commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you as you walk), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you walk, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.

If you are uncomfortable with this area and want to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients gently. As long as you don’t skip too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won’t budge. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn’t budge. Try talking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.

Also remember that most women won’t go out on a “date” with you unless they are already vaguely ok with the concept of getting physical with you. So you might want to clarify if you are dating or just “hanging out.”

Mr. L. Rx

What To Say When You First Meet A Woman – Dating To Relating For Men – 1/03/11

admin — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 16:09:33 +0000

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.)

Question: What should a person say when they first meet? “Are you seeing someone?” I mean not everyone’s single. You may have a great conversion just to find out they’re seeing someone.

Answer: Personally, I never ask a woman about her relationship state. It shows a lack of confidence to do so. However, I read signals and flirt a little to see how they respond. Also just because someone is “seeing” someone doesn’t mean they are in a committed relationship and aren’t interested in meeting you.

Watch the signals that a women gives you in a conversation. Is she just being polite talking to you or is she really interested? If she is in a relationship she will probably talk to you but won’t attempt to create any future with you (see you again). She might be a little standoffish and get even more so when you attempt to flirt.

If a woman is really interested in you she will flirt back and give you little clues that she wants to see you again. She will suggest doing something or meeting or talking or getting together. She will make a point of how she really enjoyed talking to you, at which point, you could suggest that you talk again or some more and ask for her phone number.

If you are observant you can figure out very quickly if a woman is flirting with you or if she is just being polite. Now if she is interested in you, and you show confidence enough to not ask if she is seeing someone, you will usually score a few points with her.

Question: How do you get and keep a girl interested in you when you think you are boring?

Answer: One of the hardest things to learn in life is that no matter what you are like there is always someone who is perfectly compatible with you. Even if you are boring there are women who are perfectly compatible with that. Not every one wants to meet and hook up with the life of the party.

The problem is people who don’t accept themselves for who they are, try to act differently and they are not being real, so they don’t attract anyone. Now if you just accept yourself for who you are and act the way you really are, you will find that there are people who will accept you for who you are. So don’t worry about whether you are boring or not, just be yourself. Sooner or later you will find a girl who will accept you for who you are.

Mr. L. Rx

The Three Things You Must Do To Create And Maintain Attraction In A Bar Or Club – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/27/10

admin — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 18:28:27 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I have been meeting the most women in bars lately. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on some topics and examples to bring up so I don’t lose the attraction.

Answer: To keep the attraction of the women I have met in a bar or club, I have never had to be a clever or entertaining conversationalist. What I have had to do is the following three things.

First I have had to be an excellent observer. Second I have had to be interested in the woman I am talking to. And third, I have had to be different from all the other guys she meets that are hitting up on her constantly.

If I do the above three things, I have never failed to create, hold and build the woman’s attraction to me.

First you must observe where the woman is at on the sexual scale of interest. I have talked about this before in various places. It begins with negative sex talk, progresses to positive sex talk, then eye contact, then slight brief touching, then extended touching, then kissing, petting, heavy petting, etc.

If she begins with positive sex talk, you must match that for a while then move it up to slight brief touching to keep her interest. If she matches that or moves it up to extended touching, then you must be prepared to kiss her.

Observing where a woman’s sexual interest level is at and matching that or moving it up a level slowly and gradiently will keep her attracted to you. If she is not into a level and you have gone too fast, move back down to the last one that worked to keep her attraction.

Conversation is easy. Be interested in the woman in front of you. Ask her questions about herself. Most women will enjoy talking about themselves and this will give you plenty of fodder to keep the conversation going. If you show genuine interest in learning about her and who she is, this will create plenty of attraction toward you.

If you get the occasional shy woman who doesn’t talk much, keep your observation in. You don’t have to talk to attract a woman. I have gone to many a club where I just established eye contact, danced a little, touched a little then starting making out with hardly a word being exchanged.

For the real shy ones, who are not progressing to touch on the interest scale, ask the questions that interest you. If they don’t say much in reply, then talk about your answer to the same questions you asked. Open up and do that a few times and the girls will usually feel a little less shy and open up to you.

Finally observe the girl before you approach her, or know her type. Watch and see how other guys approach her, what they talk about and what they do. If she doesn’t respond make note of that and don’t do any of that.

Be the guy who is different from all the other guys.

So when you see ten guys approach a girl and tell her how hot she is and she doesn’t respond to any of them, don’t be that guy. Be the guy who compliments her personality and doesn’t mention her looks.

When you see the girl who sarcastically says, “no” to every guy who approaches her with one of her “I don’t trust you” looks, be the guy who doesn’t approach her but comments within her hearing on what a bunch of idiots these guys in the clubs are and how you hate clubs and the whole pick up game. She will approach you.

In a bar or club, women get hit up on all the time. If you are different from all the other guys who hit up on her you will create and maintain attraction.

If you do the above three things, you won’t have to worry about “topics” and “how to keep the conversation going”.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Approach Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/20/10

admin — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 00:28:39 +0000

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DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I’m good looking and not lacking in any area. For some reason I’ve just always had a very hard time confronting girls… if I’m lucky enough to get the chance to talk to a very attractive girl I usually chicken out and regret it later.

Answer: Well, I understand your question very well. As a young man, I was in exactly the same position. There is no “magic pill” that will change things overnight. There are a lot of things that you may have to do to change your situation.

I have sent you a complimentary copy of “Dating To Relating – From A to Z” as this is the most complete education that you can get to address your problem.

In the meantime there are two things that you and guys like you can do to raise your confront.

Whenever you feel uncomfortable in any situation, it means that you are approaching this situation on too high a gradient. Rather than run away from the situation. Lower the gradient.

The right approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.

When I was a young man I would see a woman I was attracted to and thought I had to tell her how much I liked her straight away. Well that was jumping up too many steps on the ladder. I didn’t even know her.

The first step is a simple “Hi” and a smile. Then keep walking. Get comfortable just saying “Hi” to girls. Then as the next step when they say “Hi” back or ask you a question, answer the question, or make a comment about something that she has her attention on to continue the conversation. For example, if you are in a bookstore and she is looking at a book on cooking, ask her what she thinks of that book. Is it any good?

Conversations develop naturally. Do not push it. Get to know her before you decide that you like her.

Of course, there is a whole lot more to it, but these are good basics to start with.

Mr. L. Rx

Online Dating Scams – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/13/10

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am having a terrible time meeting women on online dating sites. I am forty years old and it seems that most of the good looking women are liars or scam artist. Is there any way to tell up front if a profile is a scam?

Answer: Unfortunately, there are a lot of liars and scam artists who try to take advantage of both men and women on legitimate dating sites. There are, however, ways to spot the scams before you get taken.

Let’s just start with the liars. Now this is a generalization, but women over thirty five start to lie about their age. One of the ways they do that is by posting pictures that may be five or even ten years old.

So if you see a woman who says she is forty but looks like she is twenty-eight, be a little suspicious. What I have found is that most women put up more than one picture on a site and the lead profile picture may be as much as ten years old. But somewhere in the stack of four or five pictures she has on her profile will be one that is current. That way she can’t be accused of being a liar.

So make sure you look at all the pictures if you are interested in a woman. If they only post one picture and it is a little suspicious looking, then ask them for some more pictures when you write to them. (By the way, I have even had nineteen and twenty year olds lie similarly by putting up a pictures of themselves when they were eighteen years old and twenty or thirty pounds lighter.)

Now scam artists are numerous on even the best dating sites. They usually devise some sort of scheme that eventually (not right away) will ask you to send them two or three hundred dollars for something or other. Most of them figure it is easier to get a couple of hundred dollars out of a lot of guys then going for tens of thousands of dollars out of one guy, but there are those cases too.

The profiles and emails you get from these people will usually have a number of things about them that don’t quite add up. Here are some:

Emails from these people are usually templates that are long, tell you how much they like you right away, are not formatted very well (as they use automated software to send the emails to thousands of guys), and don’t use your name. Their responses tend to be non-sequitor. So one of the ways you can catch them is by emailing them something that would require a certain response if someone were to actually read the email.

Ask them their name or what city they live in, and if they ignore your question and go into a long laudatory email be very suspicious. Sometimes they will even pay attention to the first email or two and then start to send you the form letters on the third or subsequent email. So just be on the look out for responses that don’t match up with what you said or asked no matter when it occurs.

Scam profiles can be spotted too as they usually have a very pretty woman who says she is from Colorado or New York or somewhere in the US and that she travels on business. If she mentions West Africa or Africa be very suspicious as a lot of the scams originate in Nigeria over there. Usually these girls will write you an email saying that they are traveling right now and are looking forward to meeting you in about a week when they get back in the US.

Of course right before they are supposed to come back some disaster happens (Their hotel gets robbed – they lose their passport) and they need your help (wire them two or three hundred dollars for a ticket, etc.) so they can get back to the states.

Watch out for so called “Americans” who use British terms – “mum” rather than “mother” is a frequent one.

There are also a lot of Russian scams which result in the girl needing you to wire them a few hundred dollars as the ticket price went up at the last minute for the trip they were paying for to come meet you on a vacation in the US.

There are a million variations on these scams. Just be wary of anyone asking you for money who is “out of the country.”

Mr. L. Rx

Three Rules For Writing Online Dating Emails – Dating To Relating For Men – 12/06/10

admin — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 01:48:11 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you write a good email to a girl on an online dating site? I don’t get many girls emailing me and when I email them I get very little responses – maybe one response out of twenty emails.

Answer: Writing emails is not as complicated as some guys make it seem. Basically, writing emails to meet women follows basic advertising principles. The basic principle I have always followed is the less you write the greater the response. Now the converse of that is the more you write, the more qualified the response.

So when I want to increase my responses I write something short and sweet like “I like your profile. Email me back if you want to talk.” If the girl has any attraction to my profile she will write me back.

Now what you shouldn’t do is write these long, long, emails telling her your life story and what you are looking for. Chances are you will say something that will disqualify you in her mind and she won’t write back.

I only add on to my basic line if I see something in a girl’s profile that makes me want to qualify her. Say I like creative women only. And I don’t want to waste my time meeting women who aren’t creative. My basic might become, “I like your profile. I am looking for a creative type of girl and I thought you might be one. Email me back if you want to talk.”

So rule number one is don’t write long emails if you want to get more responses. Add information only in the areas you want to qualify for.

Rule number two is don’t waste time going back and forth in an email conversation. Email is very deceptive. People don’t reveal who they really are. A lot of girls are just playing around and amusing themselves via the internet. When you talk to someone live, you can hear their voice or see the expression on their face. Both of these give you an idea about a person’s personality and intentions. Email doesn’t. Email can perpetuate lots of lies – like ten year old pictures.

So go for the phone conversation right away. If someone is really serious about meeting you (as opposed to entertaining themselves by playing with you via email) they will prefer a phone conversation too.

So my second email is usually again very short. “Thanks for responding to my email. Can we talk on the phone? I am really not very big on email correspondence.”

Now again I modify this only as needed. If a girl asks me a bunch of questions, I might modify it like this: “Can I answer your questions on the phone. I am a terrible typist and I hate taking two hours to answer questions I can answer verbally in about 5 minutes.

The third rule is I usually don’t give out my phone number. Girls who say “Sure, what’s your phone number?” usually don’t call me back – maybe one out of ten or twenty. When a girl gives me her phone number (which is about 50% to 75% of the women I ask) I then usually end up talking to about 80% of these women.

So this is a key point. When a girl asks for my number, I will say something like “Sorry, I don’t feel comfortable giving out my phone number like this. Too many bad experiences. But if you give me yours I will call you promptly.”

Now this last rule, I do break on a situational basis. If I think a girl is just being conservative and not playing with me, I will say “Sure, my number is XXX-XXXX what’s yours?” If she gives me hers, then it is usually someone who will call me. If I don’t get a response, then it is usually just a girl playing around trying to see how many guys she can get chasing her on the internet.

Mr. L. Rx

How to Overcome Approach Stress – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/29/10

admin — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 01:52:03 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am totally stressed out when trying to approach women. I get nervous and usually talk myself out of even approaching a woman. What can I do to get over this stressful feeling?

Answer: The thing that has worked best for myself and other guys I have talked to is to use gradient targets, and plan your interactions.

In other words, don’t go out trying to meet and approach women. Take it at a much lower pace. Fore example, try going to a mall and set as your first target to randomly ask fifty women for the time.

You could even break this down further. Approach fifty older, motherly looking women and ask them for the time. Then approach fifty average looking women and ask them for the time. Then approach fifty hot looking women and ask them for the time.

Keep doing an exercise like this that is not very threatening until you are completely comfortable walking up to women and asking them something.

Next, approach women again and ask them for the time then make a comment about her watch or cell phone or whatever she uses to tell time. Sort of like, “Excuse me do you have the time? … Oh cool looking cell. What service do you have?”

Get the idea?

Get comfortable with these lower gradients where you are not approaching anyone sexually and they can’t reject you for your looks, etc.

Next move it up to more of a conversation. But keep it non-sexual. Go to a mall or a coffee shop and look for some attribute you could talk about. For example, if you are a computer geek, look for someone with an iPad and walk up to them and say, “Excuse me I noticed you are using an iPad. I was thinking of getting one. How do you like it?”

Do this for a while with fifty women or so, then try to keep the conversation going with the next fifty women. When they say they like it or don’t like it. Ask them why? Tell them you hear it doesn’t have any USB ports. “Is that True?” Use your knowledge of computers to keep a conversation going.

If you feel uncomfortable, end it and leave. Notice if the person is getting into the conversation or not. If they seem like they want to talk about it, (they are friendly and give you more than yes and no answers) then keep the conversation going. If they are not friendly and give you yes and no answers, then don’t overstay your welcome. Ask a few questions then leave.

Find a topic and excuse to talk to people that is real to you. If you have sisters that you have to buy presents for at Christmas, walk up to women who are dressed sharp, or who have nice purses, or cool shoes and say something like, “Excuse me but I couldn’t help but notice your cool shoes. I am trying to find a present for my sister for Christmas. Would you mind telling me where you got your shoes?”

Now if you do this sort of thing, you will discover every once in a while you find yourself in a natural conversation without any effort. People will ask you questions too, or lead you into a conversation by saying things like, “How old is your sister?” Or, “Oh how nice, I wish my brother would be as considerate” and the conversation will just sort of flow.

In any case, never force it. Just practice, practice, practice approaching on this low gradient until you feel totally comfortable. Then look for those natural conversations to develop. When you get comfortable with natural conversations then the next and final step will be to flirt a little. “Wow, what pretty eyes you have!” or some such low key comment will do for starters.

Mr. L. Rx

Dating – Should You Pay For A Woman’s Dinner? Dating To Relating For Men – 11/22/10

admin — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 19:58:10 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have heard various dating gurus recommend different things when it comes to paying for a woman’s dinner on a date. What is your opinion?

Answer: Well, there really is no right answer to that question. “Paying for dinner” depends on the personalities involved and the situational variables involved. In other words there is no general guiding principle here.

First thing I would say is that it depends on who you are and your own self image.

If you are the gentleman type and consider yourself a gentleman, then you would probably want to pay as that is pretty much who you are, how you see yourself, and how you would want women to see you.

I have always been pretty much a gentleman, and I do it so matter-of-factly and naturally that it has not ever been a problem for me, and no woman has ever thought I was trying to impress her.

Now “acting” like a gentleman when you are not a gentleman and don’t believe in “chivalry”, etc. will probably cause you problems. You won’t like what you are doing and you’ll probably feel taken advantage of by women, etc.

Now the fact that you don‘t like it and are doing it anyway because you feel you have to will probably come across to the women you are with as some sort of negative “vibe” or as if you are trying to impress them.

Now conversely if you are the anti-gentleman and you refuse to pay at all, then you will probably come across as cheap. But if you are cheap, then you will probably feel good about yourself for not having to pay.

So it really boils down to your own personality. And as far as that goes, just be yourself. If you are a gentleman, then pay. If you are the kind of guy who would pay if you had money but you are broke, then tell the girl up front that that is who you are and go Dutch until you strike it rich.

If you are the cheap guy then go Dutch or get her to pay for you and you will be happy.

Now there are women who have different types of personalities and attitudes too. Some women will expect a man to pay, some women won’t care and will be glad to go Dutch and other women would even be happy to pay for you. And of course not all women have integrity so some will pay or go Dutch even though they don’t want to.

So observe the woman you are interacting with. Does she suggest going Dutch, or does she say “ok” unenthusiastically when you bring it up? If you are unsure and want to probe, ask her about her last boyfriend. “What did he do for a living?” If he had a good job or a job way better than hers, then realize he probably paid. If he was poor then she may be use to going Dutch.

But if she complains about how poor or cheap he was, then that might give you an idea of what to expect.

Situational variables also can come into play. If you meet a woman on a blind date and you don’t like her and you don’t have a lot of money, you might ask her to go Dutch. But if you like her you might suddenly feel more gentlemanly.

The bottom line on this topic is that it is not a very important one in a general sense. It is not something you must or must not do. Just be yourself and modify that by observing the woman you are with and what she expects. Some women want a lot more from men than others, but then again some women are worth it.

I have dated women that I would drive two hours every date to be with and enjoy every minute of it. Then there are other women that if they didn’t come over to my house, well it wasn’t worth a fifteen minute drive to see them. That is just how I felt about it.

Mr. L. Rx

How to Handle Manipulative Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/15/10

admin — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:37:35 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you handle women who are just trying to use you? I have been going out with this beautiful girl who makes me take her out to all these expensive restaurants, but it has been four dates now and I haven’t even gotten a kiss. I am beginning to feel used.

Answer: First of all, no one can “make” you do anything. If you are taking her out to expensive restaurants it is because you want to. You are not upset because you are taking her out to expensive restaurants, you are upset because you are expecting something in return and you are not getting it.

You think this girl is beautiful and you have probably made a half dozen mistakes. Your first mistake was you probably let her know that you were enraptured by her right away, either verbally or non-verbally by the smile on your face or the look in your eyes.

Unfortunately, it is human nature to take advantage of people when we can. Both men and women do it. Did you ever know a girl that was really attracted to you and offered to do all kinds of nice things for you. Even if you were not attracted to her, what did you do?

Did you blow her away or did you see an opportunity and take advantage of it? Good food? Clean apartment? No matter how good intentioned we are, we all seem to like admiration and having nice things done for us. It is an ego boost.

So your first mistake was to let this girl know how crazy you were about her before you got to know her a little better. Some people are way more manipulative and “taking” than others. It is one thing to let someone know you are slightly attracted to him/her, it is another to let that person know you are “goo-goo, gaa-gaa” over him/her.

Get to know a person before you play your hand. Don’t just judge a woman on her looks. Some of the best looking people in the world can also be some of the cruelest and most manipulative people in the world. Make it known that you judge people on their personality and behavior not just their looks.

Show that you are attracted to her but show equally that you are not stupid and would not get with someone just because she is pretty. Now this was your biggest mistake, but I am sure you made plenty others. You probably talked too much about yourself trying to impress her. You probably focused too much on sexual topics and innuendo. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t listen to what she had to say enough and didn’t create any “non-date” or non-sexual future with her.

When it comes to manipulation, I find there are basically two kinds of women. One kind is just sort of evil and manipulative and want to use men in general. The other isn’t inclined to manipulate, but will when they tell a guy that they are not interested and the guy persists any way.

Manipulative women are easy. I use their manipulative nature against them. By showing vague interest but not showing that I am crazy about her looks, and by giving little clues as to what I like, I can control and direct her manipulative attempts. They will do all kinds of nice things for me in an attempt to “hook” me, so to speak, so they can subsequently manipulate me. The problem for them is I never get “hooked” and they end up doing nice things for me as long as I want. Their manipulative nature backfires on them.

The second kind of women is not really manipulative by nature. They just get tired of telling guys that they are not interested only to have the guy not get it. So to drive home the message, these women will typically “make you pay” until you get the message. So they will ask you to take them to expensive dinners, shows, etc. and they won’t give you that kiss or even any satisfaction until you get so fed up that you don’t want to see them any more.

This may be what is going on in your case.

If you treated these kind of women right in the first place, you won’t find yourself in this scenario. If you want to know how to treat them right, then get a copy of “Dating To Relating From A To Z.”

Mr. L. Rx

How To Approach Women In Public Places – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/08/10

admin — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 17:20:23 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, How do you approach attractive women in public places, like the mall or a store or even on the street, without seeming like a sleazy type of guy? I approach women all the time and I usually get a phone number, problem is I don’t get many actual return calls or dates after that.

Answer: Well, I have heard this question many times. There are several ways to approach this situation.

First of all, let’s look at the sleazy approach from the average attractive woman’s point of view. When a guy approaches her, and he is a smooth confident talker, and he compliments her about her looks, she may indeed cough up a phone number. But she will also go home, rethink the situation and come to the conclusion that this guy was only interested in her for her looks. After all that is what he noticed and complimented.

Now a lot of the guru’s have boot camps where they teach you how to do this kind of approach. Make no mistake about it, it works. But so does anything that simply gets you to approach and talk to women. They all work but a small percentage of times. That is why you are not getting a lot of call backs and dates.

I have found if you want to approach a woman solely on her looks and still have a chance at developing a relationship, it is better to be genuine, fresh, un-polished and it is okay to be nervous and not so confident.

When I was shy (which I have been several times in my life) I use to approach women anyway and simply tell them the truth—that I was attracted to them, but was shy, nervous, and totally lacking confidence at the moment. I added, however, that I was determined to overcome these feelings. Hence I was talking to them about it.

To my surprise women loved this. Women are nurturing by their very nature, and practically every woman I approached this way desired to help me overcome my nervousness and fears. Married women would even offer to introduce me to friends and give me advice.

So the point here is if you are going to be direct and express your attraction straight up you don’t have to be polished and smooth-talking about it. Just be honest and communicate your true feelings. Women appreciate honesty and they appreciate men who express their feelings.

Another way it could be communicated, if you are not really shy, just uncomfortable, is for example: “Excuse me…I feel really uncomfortable saying this because I hate guys who do this sort of thing, but I am really attracted to you and I know of no other way of saying it other than just saying it, but I expect you to hit me over the head any minute now and tell me to go away.”

Get the point. Just say whatever it is that you honestly feel.

Now the best approach to this whole situation is to start up a conversation that doesn’t focus on looks and sexual attraction and to create “future” on commonality of interests by the end of the conversation. “Future” is a reason to meet or talk to the woman again that doesn’t involve “sexual attraction” or dating.

For example, in a book store you might strike up a conversation about books and get a girl’s number or email so you can give her the name of a really neat book you have at home that she would be interested in.

In a grocery store, you might strike up a conversation about food that ends in you getting her number or email address so you can send her a really neat recipe you have at home.

In any case, this takes a lot more skill than the other approaches above, and takes a lot of practice to master. The end result is, however, that women will accept your calls, return calls and go out on dates with you once you master this approach as this approach allows women to see you as a regular guy with similar interests rather than a sleazy pick-up-artist.

Obviously this is one of the approaches we teach you at Dating To Relating.

Mr. L. Rx

Inner Game – Dating To Relating For Men – 11/01/10

admin — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 01:21:41 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, do you think it is a good idea to have a couple of stories lined up for the first few minutes of conversation when meeting women.

Answer: Well, the answer is yes and no. Ultimately the skill you want to have when meeting people is just to be there and interact according to what is said – not with some preconceived idea of what you should say.

Preconceived ideas and stories will work sometimes and not other times. You stand a much better chance of hitting a high percentage of success when you can simply be there, assess what is going on and respond accordingly.

So from that viewpoint, the answer is no.

But let’s take a look at the “inner game” or internal motion aspects of the same situation.

You know that I talk a lot about watching the motion of the person you are approaching and trying to meet. I continually talk about doing things which make that person move toward you and not doing those things which make them move away from you.

The other person in the situation is you, however, and sometimes you have to treat yourself the same way you treat others. You have to observe what gets you to approach or move toward the situation and do more of that, and observe what makes you not approach or move away from the situation and do less of that.

How do we apply this?

Well, if you are a guy that has “approach anxiety” and is fearful of approaching and talking to women, then this “internal motion” is the situation you need to handle before you start handling the motion that women exhibit.

If you can not approach a woman then everything else I talk about is irrelevant.

So whatever helps you move towards “approaching women” would be the right thing to do irrespective of any other viewpoint of what is right or wrong.

For one guy it might mean that he goes out to clubs and just watches women for months on end until he gets it. Once he gets it, he feels comfortable approaching. But for another guy, that may not work. Getting a friend to be his “wing man” and introduce him to women might be what works for him. Yet another guy, might find that learning how to read palms is the tool he needs to feel comfortable to approach and meet women. And of course for another guy it might be having those couple of stories lined up for the first few minutes of conversation that makes him feel comfortable enough to approach.

It really doesn’t matter what you do, but some attention has to be put on observing your own motion toward women and motion away. Once you are comfortable, your attention will then shift naturally from observing yourself to observing their motion.

It is not just your “approach” motion that you have to observe. Any motion is worth observing.

I once knew a guy who in the middle of successfully talking to a woman would shrivel up and go sulk away if another guy approached them while they were talking. That was a “motion away” on his part not caused by any relevant factor that the girl did, or any indication of lack of interest on her part. It was caused by an external event that touched upon his own insecurities.

He eventually handled his “motion away” by having several interesting stories worked up that he would engage in as soon as a guy approached. He felt that guys couldn’t butt in and take over if he was in the middle of a story. It worked for him, and whether his theory was true or not, it gave him the confidence to not “sulk away” so it was a workable personal strategy for him.

By observing “motion away” and “motion towards” in others and ourselves, we can develop personal strategies that are built for ourselves, not something that worked for some dating guru who doesn’t have a personality that is anything like us.

And that is what we teach guys to do at Dating To Relating.

Mr. L. Rx

Sexual Communication – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/25/10

admin — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 18:01:13 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I hear a lot of people talk about “sexual communication”. What is this?

Answer: “Sexual Communication” is anything that a man or woman does or says that communicates that he or she is interested in the opposite sex, either generally or specifically.

It is important for a guy to understand how to read sexual communications sent by women and how to send sexual communication to women. Many guys are left in the “friend zone” simply because they don’t know how to use sexual communication to attract women and/or let a woman know that they are interested in her as a girlfriend – not just as a friend.

You see, it is all a matter of gradient.

There are obvious verbal and non-verbal sexual communications that are a high enough gradient that we can all figure them out.

The problem I see is that guys don’t know how to read low gradient sexual communications from women, and guys don’t know how to originate low gradient sexual communications to women. So guys fail to see that a woman is actually attracted to them, and guys blow women away by starting out at too high a sexual gradient.

Now sexual communication is a huge topic – much bigger than I can cover here. But let’s talk about one of the lowest gradients of sexual communications that frequently gets over looked. And that is ….

Being there.

What does that mean? Well, the girl who signs up to be on the dating site, has delivered the first sexual communication. Even if she made no other sexual comment or action, the very fact that she is there is a communication that she is interested in a sexual relationship. This is a general communication, not a communication specifically that she is interested in a sexual relationship with you.

But that is the good thing about dating sites. We don’t have to worry about, “Does she have a boyfriend?” etc. because we know everyone there is looking for a sexual partner.

The girl at the airport or movie theatre who makes a point to sit down right next to you when you are the only person in the area, and there are hundreds of vacant seats is also “being there” and delivering a sexual communication.

Now, the above may be rather obvious to most guys, but a few “being there” situations aren’t and must be treated as potentially a sexual communication and probed a little more to find out just what is going on.

So the clerk in the store who makes a bee line over to you after you walk in and says, “Can I help you?” is being there with you specifically. Now the problem is she could have done this because she is attracted to you or she could have done this because she is just an aggressive clerk looking for a sale.

The girl in the grocery store who sees you buying a certain brand of can goods and asks you, “How do you like that chili?” might be “being there” as a sexual communication or maybe she is just a curious, friendly person who just wants to know if anyone likes that brand of chili.

How do you know if these “maybe” situations are sexual communications or not? Well, you do a light gradient of flirting, and if that attracts her even further, then you know that was her original intent. If it blows her away, then it was probably not a sexual communication.

A lot of guys worry about whether a girl is interested in them as a boyfriend or not, on that first date. Truth be told, however, if you made an honest “date”, she has at least seen you before (not a blind date), she wouldn’t be there if there weren’t a possibility of a sexual relationship. She wouldn’t have made the “date.”

Now that doesn’t mean it is a sure thing. That doesn’t mean you can’t blow it. But if you are worried and think there is no possibility, you are wrong.

She wouldn’t be there unless she considered there was a possibility with you.

Mr. L. Rx

External Relationship Factors- Dating To Relating For Men – 10/18/10

admin — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 18:48:36 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, in your book you talk about the things that guys do that cause a woman to move closer or further away from a guy. But what about external causes that have nothing to do with your actions? How do you deal with those?

Answer: Very good question. In the book, we do tend to focus on our own behavior as it is the thing that we can most control and change as needed. However, there are times when external factors can influence your relationship and it has nothing or very little to do with your own efforts.

Pre-existing relationships with family or friends can be one of those external factors. Jobs and relationships with people at work can be another source of external influence.

For example, family members such as a mother or father can put pressure on your spouse or girlfriend to do something that you don’t want or even to look at you in a negative light. Sometimes people external to your relationship can create extra hurdles and problems for your relationship that wouldn’t exist if they weren’t there.

For example, my ex-wife’s parents use to exert pressure on my wife to “take it easy” and “not work too hard” and “take vacations” at a time when we were starting a business together. They would invite us to come visit them or they would come visit us. We really couldn’t afford to take any time off from our young start up business, but my ex-wife’s pre-existing relationship with her parents was such that she could never say, “No” to any of their suggestions.

As a consequence, every suggestion they made moved my ex-wife and myself a little further apart, because I could see the malice in their intentions, and all she could see was a command that had to be obeyed.

Can you overcome such external obstacles as these and others when they are happening? Perhaps, but many times it will be near impossible to overcome such influence. The best way to handle this external influence potential is to qualify for it when you first meet a person.

Look for and spot any negative relationships that your potential mate might have amongst her family, friends, or work cohorts. What is important is that you learn and observe how your potential mate deals with such relationships. It isn’t how “bad” or “mean” the mother-in-law is, for example, it is more, “How does your potential mate deal with such a person?”

The kind of relationships and situations that will cause you grief to no end, are those relationships in which your mate can not stand up for themselves – those relationships where they have to do what the other person says “no matter what” – those relationships which cause your potential mate to lose their integrity.

I have had girlfriends with the most abusive parents in the world, yet these situations caused me no grief because these girlfriends had the ability to stand up to their parents and say, “No” to anything the parents said that was unreasonable.

On the other hand, the situation in which a wife who couldn’t say, “That is not a good week to visit, can you come some other time?” to her parents led to all kinds of distress, arguments, and external turmoil.

Negative external factors are not easy to handle if they are entwined into your relationship. The best time to handle them is before you get too involved with a person. No matter how much you might love a person, no matter how cute or attractive they are, if you see that they cannot handle abusive parents, siblings, friends, other relatives, etc. be very careful about your decision to get involved with that person.

It is not something we are trained to look at when “looking for love” but if you want a sane and a lasting relationship, it is something that must be confronted and looked at from day one.

Mr. L. Rx

More About Dating Rapport – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/11/10

admin — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 00:30:02 +0000

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on More About Dating Rapport visit DatingToRelating.info

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I read your column about rapport a few weeks ago. I am really interested in this topic. Are there any other ways to establish rapport?

Answer: Yes, one can establish rapport by asking questions and getting answers. The most important thing is to ask questions that elicit emotional response not just social, friendly, calm, or logical answers.

This is an old sales trick that any good salesman knows.

You see, the guy who comes into the electronic store and is looking for a 36 inch HDTV doesn’t really care about pixels, channels, sound, etc. He is not really there to ascertain the information about the TV. He is really there to prove to his wife that “he is the boss” and can determine what they spend money on, or he is really there to reward himself for working hard, because “no one else does” or he is really there to spite his boss whom he hates and show his boss who is coming over next week that he is “a better person”.

Now, when a salesman finds out this emotional answer from the potential buyer he closes the deal by establishing rapport and repeating the emotional words to the potential buyer. So the salesman doesn’t say, “Well, it’s 32 inches, HDTV and the highest tech, blah blah blah…” Instead he says, “Well, if you really want to show your wife that ‘you are the boss’ you will get the 32 inch, HDTV, with PIP because it screams “boss!”

Or he says, “If you really want to reward yourself because no one else does, then you’ll get the super audio 40 inch HDTV, blah blah blah.” Or he says, “If you really want to show your boss you are a better person than him then get the blah blah blah!”

When you find the emotion behind the guys behavior – no matter what it is – you will establish rapport. The guy will feel like you really understand him.

Same goes for dating. Find out her passion, find out what she hates, find out what she loves. Ask questions like, “How do you feel about that?” or “Doesn’t that make you mad?” or, “That must have been exhilarating?”

When you get the definite emotional response, note the exact words she uses, and say them back to her exactly. “Yeah, I hate it when people don’t listen”, “I love old cinema.” or, “Selfish people are such a turnoff.”

Now when you get a little more experience and you start to recognize personality types and approach a personality type knowing something about them before you even talk to them, you can take rapport to a new level, and say something that would be exactly what they would say before they get a chance to say it.

So when you have that first date with the girl you have never met before and from ten feet away you can see she is an “angry” women, then you establish rapport when you walk up to her and the first words out of your mouth are, “Did you see what that hostess said to me? I hate rude people like that, they make me soooo angry!”

That establishes instant rapport and very solid rapport because you said it before she did.

Now that takes a little experience and keen observation, but in the meantime, ask a lot of questions, elicit an emotional response, repeat what ever is said to show that you understand what is important to her and you will establish a very close rapport with her.

Don’t be surprised if she says something like, “Wow, you are the first person I have ever met that really understands me!”

Mr. L. Rx

Personality Based Dating Guru Systems – Dating To Relating For Men – 10/4/10

admin — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 01:23:39 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2010 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on Personality Based Dating Guru Systems visit DatingToRelating.info

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, there are some other dating gurus who have personality based approaches to meeting women. I tried **** and **** but they didn’t get anywhere near the eighty to ninety percent results that you claim for your system. Since you also champion the use of approaching different women with different strategies, can you tell me why these systems didn’t work very well?

Answer: Our system is a technology not a strategy. From a technology you can develop strategies. The systems that you refer to are strategy systems and will work better than the dating gurus who have one strategy for all women, but won’t work as well as our technology.

For a “personality” based system to work it has to consider several things that the above systems don’t consider.

1) People have a social personality and a real personality. Interviewing people isn’t a good way to assess the truth about personality because people don’t tell you the truth. Also the things that people say and the way that they act when you first meet them is not their true personality. There are ways to get at this information quickly, but you have to be cognizant of the fact that people have social personalities and real personalities to get at this information. The Dating To Relating technology allows you to do this.

2) Both men and women have variable personalities. For any personality based system to be effective in establishing long term relationships (not one night stands) you have to take into account the personality of the man who is approaching in addition to the personality of the woman who is being approached. The systems you refer to do not have such a variable. They simply characterize women into different groups but then don’t account for the different personalities among the men who are approaching these women.

3) There are a lot more personality types than the eight and three personality types that the two systems you refer to above respectively divide women into. There are at least ten major personality types that I have approached and probably another twenty, or so, types when you count the personality types that are variations on the above themes. In addition to that, you have the problem that even within a personality type you will not always get consistent behavior. People within the same personality type can express themselves differently. You need a way to account for all of this.

4) There are also situational variables. There is actually no such thing as a “personality type”. People usually are a compilation of several different personality types and exhibit behavior of several different personality types in different situations. So a person may be one personality type when alone, another personality type when with friends, yet another when at church, etc.

For all of the above reasons, this is why a technology is needed that can develop strategies on the fly rather than just memorizing approaches to a limited number of personality types. This is what “Dating To Relating” is. It is a technology of how to meet and relate to women and a way of developing an unlimited amount of your own strategies of how to meet and relate to women. It is not one strategy (which is what most of the dating guru systems are) and not a collection of strategies (which is what a few of the better dating guru systems are).

Having said that, however, the systems that acknowledge and use multiple personality strategies are vastly superior to most of the dating systems out there. Most of the systems espouse one strategy and as a result will only work ten percent of the time. The systems that acknowledge and use a number of dating strategies will improve upon that success ratio considerably.

I would encourage you to study any of these kinds of systems as long as you integrate it with the Dating To Relating technology. Integrating these other systems with “Dating To Relating” technology will allow you to fill in the gaps that these systems will have and give you a fuller understanding or what is really going on.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Use Rapport When Meeting Women Or On A First Date – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/27/10

admin — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 21:53:57 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2010 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, what is rapport and how do I use it when meeting women?

Answer: Rapport!

Well, our trusted Wikipedia says:

“Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction. It is commonality of perspective: being “in sync” with, or being “on the same wavelength” as the person with whom you are talking.”

Why should you establish rapport when meeting women for the first time? Well it is just one more of those things you can do to create attraction. Rapport works more on the subconscious level, whereas some of the other things I have taught you – like listen to the woman – work on a more conscious level.

How do you establish rapport?

Well, there are three ways that I go about establishing rapport with a person whether in a sales situation, a social situation, or on a date.

1) Body Language

To establish rapport I mimic the person’s body language. If they sit up straight, I sit up straight. If they lean back, I lean back. If they lean in, I lean in.

Posture is one, but there are others. If they are uptight and cold and distant, I am uptight and cold and distant. If they start warming up, I start warming up. If they talk with their hands, I talk with my hands. Get it! Don’t be too obvious. This is subtle. It drives in the “commonality of perspective” or the “in sync”.

2) Vocal Language

If someone starts off talking about casual conversation, I start and continue the conversation at the same level. If they start off getting very personal and open, I become very personal and open with my conversation. I also use a similar style of talking if possible – soft and polite, if they are soft and polite, loud and boisterous, if they are loud and boisterous.

3) Emotional Mimicking

If someone is cheerful and friendly, I am cheerful and friendly, if they are angry and sullen, I become angry and sullen. If they are antagonistic and bothered, I become antagonistic and bothered. If they are fearful or grief ridden, I become fearful or grief ridden.

Now using rapport is my tendency, but I only do these things when I want to use rapport. Sometimes I don’t use rapport. Some people are attracted to “similarity” (that is when rapport works) others are attracted to opposites (that is when rapport can back fire on you).

How do you know when or when not to use rapport?

Well, I observe the attraction factor. When I meet people, I am at first just me – my natural self. If that works then I don’t change a thing. I just be “me”. Now sometimes “me” will naturally be in rapport with the person I am with, other times it doesn’t matter as attraction is there anyway.

But when the attraction factor is low, or the personality in front of me is not very similar to my personality, I first make a decision. I ask myself if I want to get to know this person better (because if I don’t like them – no use wasting any time on rapport). If I do, I will use rapport and the attraction factor starts going in.

Rapport is one of those things that seems to work for me when all else fails. Once I establish rapport I say the same things and do the same things I would normally say and do. I just say them in a way that is consistent with the rapport I have established.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Be Mr. Right – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/20/10

admin — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 22:24:54 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2010 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on How To Be Mr. Right visit DatingToRelating.info

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, so many women are looking for the so called Mr. Right. How do I become that guy?

Answer: Well, if you were to go online and search for “Mr. Right” articles written by women, the first thing you would notice is that what is “Mr. Right” for one woman could be “Mr. Wrong” for another.

It comes back to one of my basic themes. Women have different personalities. Different personalities like different things.

So if you like yourself, and who you are and can’t see yourself changing for anyone then just be who you are. Meet lots of women, and sooner or later you will meet someone who likes you the way you are and will consider you their Mr. Right.

Now if you are flawed and know you are flawed, and you want to improve yourself, then decide what kind of guy you would like to be. Decide what kind of guy you could admire and become such a guy. If you are cool with who you become, then meet lots of women and sooner or later you will meet a woman who thinks you are cool too.

Or there is a different way of going about it. The strategy above may attract women but it may not attract the kind of woman you are looking for. So if you want to do that, figure out first what kind of woman you are looking for and figure out what kind of guy she is looking for or her type is looking for and become that guy.

Just make sure you are comfortable with the kind of guy you become or it won’t last very long. This has to be a lifestyle change for the rest of your life.

The final approach is to become the kind of guy that most or the majority of women are looking for. What is that?

a) A guy who is clean and well groomed. No matter what you look like, you will look better if you take pride in your appearance, hygiene, and personal grooming. A well groomed man is something a woman can be proud of and show off no matter what he looks like.

b) A guy who is trustworthy and won’t cheat. Guys are notorious for cheating. Don’t be that guy. If you no longer feel it for a girl, end the relationship then find someone new for sex – not vice versa.

c) A guy who is competent at something and can build a successful career. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to be successful. Women want financial security. If you are good at your job – no matter what it is – you won’t lose it. You will be promoted, etc. Financial security – not gobs of money – is what women want from Mr. Right.

d) A guy who is reliable and whose word means something. Don’t be the guy who shows up an hour late and who forgets birthdays and promises. No one likes that – not even other men.

e) A gentleman. Despite what women might say, they all appreciate a gentleman. Don’t fake it. It is a lifestyle. Either assume the lifestyle of a gentleman or don’t do it at all. Anything in between won’t work, because if you force yourself to do it, it will backfire on you one day.

f) A communicator. Learn to have real communication and learn to listen to women early on. If you don’t like what you hear or it is torture to listen, break it off. She is the wrong girl for you. There is another woman out there whose communication will be enjoyable. Find her.

g) A romantic. Romance is different for every woman so find out what it is for her. Don’t be the kind of guy who romances her to get her then stops when he gets her. Romance is another lifestyle. If you can’t or don’t want to do it then don’t do it. It is another one of those areas that you either do forever, or don’t do it at all. If you don’t want to be a romantic, find a woman who doesn’t need it.

h) A guy with a sense of humor. All women say they want a guy with a sense of humor. But don’t use it as a way to get out of real communication. Be humorous and funny when appropriate but know when and how to have a serious conversation.

i) Finally be a good lover. If you don’t know how. Learn. There are lots of books on the subject, and we have free materials on our website if you can’t find them other places. Every woman’s Mr. Right is a good lover.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Tell The Difference Between Friendly and Flirty – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/13/10

admin — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 01:40:18 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2010 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on How To Tell The Difference Between Friendly and Flirty visit DatingToRelating.info

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you tell the difference between when a girl is just being friendly and when she is actually flirting with you?

Answer: Very good question. First of all let’s make some distinctions between various behaviors by women.

There is definite flirting behavior when a girl is interested in you and there is definite “not interested” behavior when she is not. There is another type of behavior that is “just friendly” and a similar type of behavior that is “just flirting” – in other words, it is not meant to be taken seriously and is not meant to go anywhere.

Now I am not going to tackle the obvious, when a girl asks you out or tells you how handsome you are, etc. that is flirtation behavior you should get. But here is what girls do when they are being more subtle and less aggressive and are interested in establishing something with you.

1) They will suggest or establish “future” in your conversation. You know, “Let’s hang some time,” or “I know a place you would really like. I will take you there sometime”, or something of the sort. It would be usually one-on-one type situations, but if she wants to check you out more, then it might be an invitation to a group function. “My girlfriend and I are going to blah-blah, Sunday. Would you like to come?” Be careful of the last one, though, it could be a “just-friends” invitation.

2) They will compliment you. The more sexual the compliment, the more flirty and interested it might be. For example, “You have a cute butt,” would be a more sexual compliment. However “I had a great time” or “I really enjoyed hanging with you” are still very good indicators that a girl is really interested. (Make sure that she originates the compliment and is not just being polite and complimenting you because you complimented her.)

3) A phone call, text, or email from the girl saying what a nice or enjoyable time she had with you a few minutes to a few hours after getting together with her is another good indicator that she is really interested in you. Even a contact the next day or within a few days of the same nature is a good indicator.

In other words, girls who are really flirting, with the intention of it going somewhere, try to give you a few extra hints that they are really interested and that you should pursue them. Now there is one other kind of girl that won’t do any of the above, but you will notice you have good one-on-one conversation with her every time you meet and have a chance to converse. She is there, always talks to you, doesn’t run away, but also doesn’t suggest future or give compliments. She might be the type that is a little shy and wants you to make the first move.

Now the hard ones are “friendly girls” who are affectionate and out-going types but are not really flirting. They may be really friendly and talkative to you. They may compliment you on something (but not usually a sexual compliment) and they may give you a hug or a cheek-kiss.

Now if a girl does this and she doesn’t do any of 1-3 above, and she sort of avoids any significant one-on-one time or conversations (in other words she tries to interact with you in group situations or just briefly) then she is just being friendly and you will probably see her interacting with other men and women in the same way (another clue).

A “flirty girl” who is just flirting to have fun, will probably do much of the same behavior as the “friendly girl” and may even get a little sexual with her flirts and compliments, but again, it will probably be in group situations and she will avoid any serious one-on-one with you.

If you have any doubt about “friendly girls” or “flirty girls” just try to up the gradient of flirtation and see how they respond. If they are really flirting with you and are interested in it going somewhere, they will respond appropriately when you up the gradient. If they back down or withdraw, or are anything less than “eager” when you up the gradient, then you know that they are just being friendly or flirty and you should not take it seriously.

So ask them out, ask for their phone number, or suggest some one-on-one time and see how they respond. If they respond positively, eagerly – they are interested; if they are hesitant or respond negatively, or “politely” – they are just being “friendly” or “flirty.”

Mr. L. Rx

Love Is Not Attraction Or Is It? – Dating To Relating For Men – 9/6/10

admin — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 16:27:03 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2010 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

For more information on Love Is Not Attraction Or Is It? visit DatingToRelating.info

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am very attracted to this girl in one of my college classes. I’ve known her for several months now, though we don’t have a relationship. I feel that I am deeply in love with her and told her that the other day. She told me that attraction is not love. Is she right? I feel that this strong of an attraction must be love. Could I be wrong?

Answer: This is one of the best questions I have had in a long time. And the answer is simple. Love is not attraction.

Well, perhaps I should temper that. For some people love is experienced as attraction, or at least love is misidentified as attraction. Attraction between men and women is entirely a physical force not a mental force. Attraction between men and women can be created by mental considerations, but in the end it is not a mental force.

Mr. Webster defines attraction as:

The electric or magnetic force exerted by oppositely charged particles, tending to draw or hold the particles together.

Men and women are oppositely charged particles. When we are talking about attraction here, we are talking about a physical attraction.

Now most women, not all, have a better handle on this than men. Most women, can feel a physical attraction for a man, recognize it as such, determine that the man for other reasons is unsuitable as a “love interest” and move on. Most men, on the other hand, can’t do this. Most men feel a physical attraction for a woman, and the stronger that physical attraction is, the more they misidentify it as “love.”

Both David DeAngelo and myself have written extensively that attraction can be created and that it is not innate. You can create attraction, where there is none, just by teaching men (or women) to say and do or be certain things.

Men physically saying or doing or being certain things, creates attraction in women. This is a physical law, not a mental condition, just as it is a physical law that you can magnetize any piece of metal, and create attraction to that metal whether or not it was magnetized before. (Incidentally you can do this no matter how ugly or poor that piece of metal is!)

Now love on the other hand is also an attraction of sorts. But it is a mental attraction not a physical one. Physical attraction is different for everyone. For some it is how cute you are, for others, how rich you are, or yet others, how famous you are. But in all cases a physical attraction is an instantaneous attraction with no thought attached – just like a magnet.

Physical attractions are meant to get us to pay attention to someone. That’s all. That is the extent of it. Once you pay attention, cognitive processes should take over.

Now love, when it is not misidentified, is a totally cognitive process. It is a mental process. After someone gets our attention, love is the attraction that develops because we get to know someone and find that many of their non-physical qualities are a good “fit”, agreeable, or a match for us.

Love can take a long time or a short time to develop, but “love” is where we arrive when we overwhelmingly start finding ourselves attracted to a person in ways that the physical sexual attraction did not foretell.

When we find that the person’s humor, personality, way of being, way of communicating, and goals in life are all “attractive” or compatible with ourselves (and are real – not fake attributes that were meant to create physical attraction); and when we find that we naturally want to be with a person because of a whole set of variables – not just looks or money or fame – we are starting to develop a cognitive attraction or “love.”

There can be so many cognitive attractions to a person that, at some point, it can overcome a lack of “physical attraction” (looks, money, fame). But, most importantly, a cognitive “love” would look for a “return” variable in another. In other words, a cognitive attraction would not consider it “love” – as between a man and a woman – unless the cognitive attraction saw the attraction going in both directions.

And that my friend is the difference between love and attraction.

Mr. L. Rx

She Is Flirting With Me But Dating Someone Else – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/30/10

admin — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 01:24:56 +0000

You may use the “Dating To Relating For Men” column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2010 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I know at work is flirting with me, but she is dating someone else. What do I do?

Answer: This is a good question. There are a number of reasons that a woman might flirt with you while dating someone else. Not all women would do this, but certain personality types will.

Some women flirt with all men. They basically have a need to feel that they are attractive. This need is more important than their existing relationship. They don’t do anything other than flirt so they do not feel like they are cheating. By flirting with men and getting a flirt back they feel attractive. So in the end it is all about them feeling good about themselves and not about you. They will never go to the next stage with you.

Watch the woman and see if she is flirting with a bunch of men or just you.

Some women flirt with men in front of other women as a sort of competitive thing. Again it is not about you and it is not a flirt that is going to go anywhere. It is simply a flirt that is done in front of other women to show them that they are attractive and can get men or perhaps even to show the other women that they are more attractive than them.

So if this behavior always takes place in front of other women, be a little suspicious of the intent.

Then there are promiscuous women who will cheat on their boyfriends. This type of flirt is usually done discreetly – not in front of others. She does not want to get caught so she will not be flirting with all men or flirting in front of her girlfriends (well maybe she might do this if she can trust her girlfriends). But get the picture? Is she doing this discreetly or on the sly? If this is the kind of flirting she is doing then maybe she is looking for an affair.

Keep in mind, however, that a woman who cheats on her boyfriend will cheat on you. So don’t be tempted into thinking she is going to leave her boyfriend for you or that she would make a good girlfriend no matter the sad story she gives you about her boyfriend. Just remember that if she cheats on him, she is a cheater. She will cheat on you.

There is another possibility that she is just dating, and that the boyfriend is not really considered a boyfriend by her. She might just be dating a bunch of guys trying to see who she likes. The guy she is with might even be an arrangement type of boyfriend – someone she has relations with until she finds someone she likes.

If she flirts with you, and she is rather open about it, and she is not flirting with all the guys or in front of all her girlfriends, then this might be the case. If that is so, ask her about it. Say, “Why are you flirting with me, don’t you have a boyfriend?” See what her answer is. It might be, “Well he is not really my boyfriend, he’s just a friend.”

Another possibility is that she has decided to break up with him, but she might be the kind of personality that has to line up another guy before she can break up with the first one. Hence the flirting is directed at you, not others as above, and you should ask her about it just as above. This one might say something like, “Well, it is just not working out, I need to move on.”

It is one thing to test and look for a new boyfriend by a little flirting. It is another thing to cheat on a guy before you have broken it off. So stay clear of the girls who want to cheat. They will end up doing the same thing to you.

Mr. L. Rx

Not Cocky And Not Funny – Well Maybe A Little Bit Funny – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/16/10

admin — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 00:40:24 +0000

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am attracted to this girl at the campus store. She is really hot. But she is really cold to me. I don’t think she has a boyfriend, but whenever I say, “Hi,” with a big smile, it doesn’t work. She just gives me a cold stare and says, “How can I help you?” What do I do?

Answer: Well, if you have been following my writing, you would know that my recurring theme is that people have different personalities and different personalities require different approaches.

A “Hi” with a smile might work on most people but it won’t work on all personalities. When I was a young man I did door to door sales. “Hi” with a big smile and a funny joke is how I opened most conversations door to door. It worked like a charm in middle class neighborhoods.

One day, however, they dropped me in an upper middle class neighborhood. And I was shocked. My “Hi” with a big smile got me a lot of “fear” reactions with doors slammed quickly in my face. These were upper middle class very-good-looking women that were doing the door-slamming fear-reaction.

I was a skilled salesman by this time however as I had started door to door sales at eleven years old. I learned quickly to “mimic” people when I didn’t have the right presentation or my presentation or personality wasn’t doing well.

So I quickly changed my strategy with these upper middle class “hot” housewives and I mimicked their style. Instead of a “Hi” and a smile, I said “Hi” and told them the same joke but in a very “dry” deadpan manner with absolutely no smile or expression at all.

Instead of slamming the door in my face, they all laughed at my joke, opened the door and invited me in. You see, to some personalities, and in some environments, a “smiling face” is not to be trusted.

I have even used the same strategy when approaching women in stores or on the street, such as in your situation. For example, there was this woman who was really hot ( like a 9.5/10) that worked at a Louis Vuitton store in the mall. I went by and targeted her for a slow multiple-come-back approach. I initially approached her with a smile and a “Hi” and friendly conversation (which works on most mall store employees).

She talked to me but was very cold and not friendly at all. After about three times, I realized she was not the right personality type for that approach and I changed to my deadpan “humor’ with no smile. I caught her out in front of a “fast food” place eating a cheap burrito or something and said in my best deadpan voice, with no smile and an extremely deadpan expression, “So that’s how you spend your time, huh, eating cheap burritos.”

She laughed and laughed and laughed. And the next time I walked into her store she was all over me with conversation. She would practically tell me her life story when I would go into the store. Best of all, she asked me out, after a couple of more visits. She also changed her attitude. I didn’t have to keep up the deadpan stuff. I was able to go back to being cheerful with a smile.

But not all personalities are like that. Some women you have to keep up the deadpan routine forever. (Like the upper middle class housewives, for instance.) In this case, however, she was one of those really hot women who just didn’t trust “smiling” men who approach them. So she had her defenses up but this wasn’t really her personality. Once I got past that point with the deadpan routine, I could put the smile back on and she could be herself.

Like I said, everyone is different. The way you figure it out is with a lot of experience and a lot of keen observation. And if you are short on experience and observation, then get yourself a copy of “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”.

Mr. L. Rx

Elwood – Release 8/16/10

admin — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 23:03:43 +0000

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Guy Gets Girl’s Phone Number In Five Minutes – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/9/10

admin — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 23:54:20 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I saw a video in which a guy got a girl’s phone number in five minutes. But it is one of the guys you say are “ten percenters”. What do you mean by that?

Answer: Without naming names, a lot of the men’s dating gurus just give you strategies that will work “ten percent” of the time. (And when I say “ten percent” I don’t mean that literally. It could be twenty percent or one percent or thirty percent. What I mean is they don’t get the eighty to ninety percent results that we do.)

I saw a video the other day myself. In it a guy approached a woman, told her how he found her very attractive and asked for her phone number so they could talk some more. He was polite, friendly and he got it.

Now, the problem with this video is you don’t know how many girls he had to approach to find one that this would work on and you don’t know what happened afterwards.

There was even a major dating guru site that just came out with a book on how to approach women in the daytime, on the street, etc. I bought it and read it. It is the same thing as the video – memorized lines and strategies that won’t yield any better results than ten percent.

I have friends who do this kind of stuff all the time for years. They are very skilled at being friendly and all and getting phone numbers. You would think they were successful, but the bottom line is, it is a numbers game for them. They approach ten women, say the same things and get one phone number.

What you don’t see is that afterwards they only get perhaps just a third of the girls who will return their calls. And after that, only another one out of ten will go out with them. Then when they manage to get a date, only one out of ten will go on a second date with them.

Now, as poor a system as this is, for a lonely guy who has nothing going on this is a godsend. If you just keep at it, the numbers are eventually in your favor and you will get dates and perhaps even a girlfriend sooner or later.

At Dating To Relating, we don’t use number games. We teach guys how to communicate and how to recognize differences in personalities. We teach guys how to be situational. We teach guys how to be successful being themselves, not robots.

Guys trained by us do not have to use memorized lines. They can think on their feet and come up with situationally appropriate conversation.

Guys that we train can approach ten women and get eight phone numbers. They can expect eight out of ten of those women to respond to their phone call when they make it. And they can expect eight out of ten of those women to go on dates with them and they can expect eight out of ten of those first dates to go on a second, third, fourth date with them.

Anybody can come up with some smooth memorized talk to get a phone number or date, but turning those situations into relationships takes a little more than memorized lines. That is what we teach you and that is why we call it DATING to RELATING.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Move From Casual Intimacy Into A Relationship – Dating To Relating For Men – 8/2/10

admin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 23:40:56 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I already have a casual intimate relationship with a woman, I met about two months ago. It is not serious. We get together about once a week. Problem is I am beginning to have some feelings for her and think I might really like her. Can I develop a real relationship with her? Or is it too late? How would I go about doing this?

Answer: Well, this is unusual. Most of the time, guys are trying to figure out how to develop a relationship with a girl they haven’t been intimate with. Yes, it is possible but it does present some unique challenges.

First of all you need to find out where this woman stands. If you guys are having a casual intimate relationship, you need to know if that is something she wants to maintain or if she, like you, is starting to feel different about things.

Now if you go about this the wrong way, you can scare her off. So be careful. A lot of times people who are coming out of a divorce or a break up want an intimate relationship but they don’t want commitment or feeling like they are getting close to someone. They are trying to protect themselves from being hurt by not getting close.

Of course this will heal in time, but the time factor can take one, two or even three years for some people. If you really like someone and feel they are worth the wait, you can seal the deal by not putting any pressure on them during this time, maintaining the casual relationship and just being there for them when they are ready for something else.

Most of the time, these type of things don’t work out because one person is too impatient to wait and puts pressure on the other person who is not ready, so they end up in a spat and a break up.

Now, from your question we know nothing about this woman. She could be a career “no commitment” type or recently divorced or one or two years down the road after a break up.

So you need to ask a lot of questions in a neutral sort of way, so that you do not play your hand in case she is not ready for your feelings. The best way to maintain neutrality is to not originate questions out of the blue, but to play off of her originations.

For example, if she mentions her ex and berates him, you could say, “Sounds like you guys didn’t have a very good relationship.” If she says, “Yeah,” you could come back with something like, “So does that mean you hate all men, or do you think he was just a bully?”

If she says, “No, I don’t hate all men, blah, blah, blah,” then she might be more ready for a relationship then if she says “Yeah.”

The conversations you will have with her will be very situational so I can’t tell you what to exactly say and ask in this short column, but perhaps you get the idea. What you don’t want to ask are questions about you and your relationship with her. That is not neutral and could get you in trouble if she is not ready for anything serious.

So don’t say things like, “How do you feel about our relationship?” or “I am starting to have feelings for you,” etc. until you know if she is ready and can handle this type of topic. If she is not, you just need to keep informed of her general feelings about men and relationships until she is ready to get serious with someone again.

Mr. L. Rx

How To Flirt With Women – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/26/10

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, what is the best way to flirt with women?

Answer: Flirtation is a way to create attraction. But remember, personalities can vary widely on what is considered “attractive.” If you read my articles on how to meet women in bars and clubs you will remember that in order to create attraction, one type of personality required a direct confident communication said directly to them, whereas another required the opposite – an indirect communication said in their presence but aimed at another.

So it can get complicated.

But let’s talk about what kind of flirtation works most of the time in normal everyday situations – not bars and clubs.

1) Smile. Definitely a flirt and usually received as such by most people.

2) Look her in the eyes, without flinching and looking away. (Followed by a “smile” is definitely a top flirt.)

3) Talk to her. Find an obvious excuse to talk to her. “Excuse me, do you know what time it is?” Or “Do you know where there is a bookstore around here?” Doesn’t matter what you say. If you do one and two above then approach and talk to her, she will know you are flirting. And it is a better flirt if you just suggest interest. Telling her how hot she is can be an effective flirt for some women, but will blow a lot of really hot women away. Keep it suggestive, you will do better in the long run.

4) Find an excuse to move in close. (Make sure you smell good when you do.) Hold it for a brief moment or two then back away again. Closeness suggests intimacy. Use it sparingly when you can.

5) Find an excuse to touch her lightly now and again. Touch her arm, her elbow, her hand. Don’t be feely, grabby – just a light touch then retreat. Again this is a form of closeness that suggests intimacy.

6) Don’t overstay your welcome. Make your flirts short and sweet. Move in, flirt. Leave and do something else. Come back and flirt again. Leave, come back. Keep this sort of cycle going. This kind of flirtation is best done with people you can see again. This won’t work on a woman walking down the street that you won’t ever see again. That would require a different type of flirt strategy and you would have to get her number or something for it to be successful.

7) Now as you get to know her in the steps above, you can extend your “drop ins” and talk a little. Be real, compliment her personality or her taste in clothes, or non-sexual parts of her body (for example, her eyes or hands). Don’t be blatantly sexual. Most of all listen to what she has to say. Play off of that. Flirtation is all about her – not about you. So don’t start bragging and talking about yourself.

Now if you do these things you will create a little sexual excitement on the part of most women. I would say about sixty percent of women would respond to the above in a positive way in a normal situation. (Not a bar or club or walking down the street.)

What about the other forty percent? Well that requires about fifteen other strategies. Things like “negative sex talk”, ignoring them, being close and ignoring them, paying attention to another woman, being cocky and funny, “positive sex talk”, being super romantic, talking dirty, being shy, etc. Things I talk about elsewhere…..

Mr. L. Rx

How To Create Attraction – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/19/10

admin — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 01:25:22 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have been dating a woman once a week for three weeks now. She doesn’t seem to really, really, like me. How do I convince her to like me?

Answer: You should never have to convince a woman to like you. If you go about it that way, you are going about it all wrong.

Romance is based on attraction. Relationship attraction is created. You could be literally the most physically ugly guy in the world and still create romantic attraction. Conversely, you could be the most physically handsome guy in the world and blow women away left and right.

Just because a woman’s glance might be attracted to look at you or repulsed by looking at you does not translate into romantic attraction or lack of it.

Now trying to convince someone to like you is “ugly” or repulsive in a non-physical dimension. It is a repulsive or “ugly” personality trait. Convincing is not attractive. It is the opposite of attractive.

Now let’s say you are a very handsome guy with a severe personality deficiency. Well “convincing” might work for you because you got this physical attraction vector going on. But if you are an average guy or an ugly guy, give up. Otherwise, you will have two very unattractive vectors going for you – ugly and “convincing”.

Even if you are an attractive guy, “convincing” might blow it for you. You could be on the fence of attraction and the “convincing” could be the thing that just makes you “ugly.”

So the best way to go about this is to create attraction. To do that you first have to understand the personality you are dealing with, as what is attractive to one person may not be attractive to another.

The only rule we can give you that is consistent across all personality types is to observe motion. “Motion toward” is attraction. “Motion away is repulsion”. Motion that neither approaches nor moves away is neither attracted or repulsed.

So don’t “convince” the girl, “observe” the girl. Be yourself. Do what you normally do. If you do something and she moves a little further away physically, mentally, emotionally, or romantically, then you are not creating attraction.

So if you want to create attraction you are going to have to adjust and not do that anymore, or if that is too much of a compromise, then go find a new girl.

If you do something and she moves a little closer physically, mentally, emotionally, or romantically, then you are creating attraction. Continue doing the same thing and more of it, and more like it and you will be creating attraction.

Example: You give a girl you are dating a small “stuffed animal” present. She doesn’t say thank you. She doesn’t go on and on about how nice it was. She just takes it and says “oh, a stuffed animal” or says thank you very politely with no feeling.

Don’t do that again. It didn’t work and it didn’t create any attraction. On the other hand if you gave the girl the “stuffed animal” present and she got a big smile and gave you a kiss on the cheek, and went on and on about how nice that was, then you did create attraction. Do more of it and more like it.

If at any point this thing that once worked started creating non-attraction motion. Figure out what you did wrong (too many gifts, not stuffed animal, too expensive, etc) and don’t do it again, and go back to what worked.

But whatever you do, don’t ever try to convince someone to like you.

Mr. L. Rx

Rules For A Blind Date – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/12/10

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, what are some good general rules to follow on a blind date?

Answer: Good question.

Let’s talk about physical appearance. Be well groomed, take a shower before your date and smell good. (You don’t have to coat yourself with perfume, but just make sure you don’t stink. Use deodorant, etc.)

Wear clean clothes. You don’t have to be a fashion model but dress in a contemporary manner. If you don’t know what that is, then look at some store mannequins, some magazines, or look at how some guys dress who go out with “hot” girls. This should give you ideas. If you can’t afford to change your wardrobe, dress as contemporaneously as possible and make sure your clothes are clean.

Pay attention to your shoes. Women look at shoes. Make sure they are clean and go with your clothing.

Dress to attract the kind of woman you want. Clothes make a statement. If you are a casual “fun loving” type of guy and you want to attract a similar minded woman, then don’t show up in a business suit. It may make the wrong statement.

On the other hand, if you are looking for one of those high maintenance type of women that want a successful man for their mate. Then that suit, Rolex, and Cole Haan shoes may be in order.

Be confident in your posture, motions, and attitude. Posture and confidence are attractive to most women on a subliminal level. If you don’t know what this is then watch some movies of classic leading men. Look at their posture, motions and how they display confidence. Start mimicking and practicing these types of motions all the time. After a while you will get comfortable with the attitude, motions and good posture.

Be a gentleman. Be courteous. Open the door for her, and do all the usual gentlemanly acts. Make sure that being a gentleman is a statement of who you are, not an attempt to impress her. If you don’t know what that means, then practice being a gentleman all the time – with your mom, sisters, and women friends. If you do it all the time, it will become natural and won’t seem like you are trying to impress her.

Don’t be cheap, pick up the tab. You’re a man. You are supposed to be a provider. It is part of being a gentleman.

Don’t talk about sex or make blatant sexual innuendos. Be seductive and attractive by your motions not by telling her how “hot” she is or how much you want to get with her. Look her in the eyes, smile, move in close to her briefly on occasion. Touch her arm now and again lightly. These are the motions of seduction.

Most of all listen. Listen to what she has to say and ask questions. Show her you really are interested in her - not just her body – and want to get to know her better. Put more attention on listening and asking questions than on bragging and telling her how great you are, and combined with all of the other factors above, you will find that most of your blind dates will want to get together with you again.

Mr. L. Rx

I Forget Everything I Know When I Approach A Hot Woman – Dating To Relating For Men – 7/5/10

admin — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 01:10:37 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I actually do alright with women in general. I have no problem approaching, talking to and securing dates with women. However, there is one exception. When a woman is really gorgeous, I fall to pieces and get real insecure and make lots of mistakes. How can I fix this?

Answer: That’s a good question. One that I believe a lot of guys have in common.

The problem has to do with scarcity. You probably approach and talk to a lot of women from “acceptable” looks to “pretty good looking”. You are comfortable with them and know what to do.

But you just don’t meet that many absolutely gorgeous “Tens” and when you do, you want them so bad that you are afraid of messing up and blowing it so you start acting like the average guy does around any woman.

When something is scarce it becomes valuable. Gold and other “precious” metals for example are relatively scarce so they become valuable. Beachfront homes, another example, are relatively scarce in any city and will usually be more valuable than a similar home in the heart of the city.

It is the same with extremely beautiful women. Women with acceptable looks or a little above average are not that scarce. Pretty women, say an eight on a scale of one to ten, are rare but not that scarce. You meet them now and again. Now a woman that is a nine or ten on this scale, however, you don’t see that kind of woman every day.

When I did my seven hundred dates in one year, I only met about 2 women who were a “nine” and no tens at all. So you see “tens” are scarce. (At least my “tens”. I have been accused by friends of having a “higher” rating system than most guys.)

So what is the handle? The cure? Well, meeting lots of extremely beautiful women is very helpful, as after a while they won’t be that different from any other women. So, going places where extremely beautiful women hang out or working “publics” like models where “tens” may be more frequent or common than the average population will help.

You already know what to do. You just have to get yourself out of your “awestruck” mindset and you will fall into what naturally works for you. Experience with extremely beautiful women will get you there.

When I worked these kinds of extremely beautiful women in bars and clubs, at first I was awestruck, then after I learned to close them 100% of the time I got rather bored with them. Now, I wouldn’t even bother working these kinds of women as having had a lot of experience with them I determined that, in general, they weren’t very good lovers. (I don’t mean that all extremely beautiful women are not good lovers, just the insecure types that you find in bars and clubs.)

Another tactic that will work is paying attention to personality first and looks second. Now it is okay if you qualify a woman on her looks, but after that qualification you have to immediately pay attention to personality and not her looks.

When you realize that there are different personality types and that extremely beautiful women come in all of these different types of personalities, the experience factor will come in to play, as you will likely have more experience with her personality type and won’t be so awestruck by the “scarcity” of her physical beauty.

If you learn how to handle the different personality types (as I teach guys to do in “Dating To Relating – From A To Z” ) then you will know how to handle her personality and be comfortable with her no matter how beautiful she is.

Mr. L. Rx

I Don’t Like Her Friends – Dating To Relating For Men – 6/28/10

admin — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 01:07:15 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, what does it mean when you really don’t like your girlfriend’s friends or she doesn’t like yours, but you both like each other? How do you handle it?

Answer: Good question. I think it is something we have all run into at one time or another. I think it goes back to one of the basics that I teach at Dating To Relating which is personality.

People come in many different personality types. Not all personality types get along with each other. On top of that, people have a social personality type – a personality that they, in a sense, “put on” because they have been educated that that is the way they should act. Then they have the real personality – the one they are despite what they have been trained to be.

Most upsets I see in dating are not because men don’t understand women or women don’t understand men, they are because people don’t understand people. There are more personality differences between a happy man and an angry man, then there are between a happy man and a happy woman. We understand the opposite sex a little better than we think we do.

It is people and personality differences that most of us don’t understand. Sometimes we find ourselves hanging out with relatives or people that we grew up with just because we have known them a long time, not because we like them. Or maybe it is because we work with them, or know them from school. Nonetheless, we call them friends and feel obligated to see them and hang out with them even though we don’t particularly like them.

A real friend is someone who supports you in your life choices and makes you feel good about yourself in general. Anything less than that and the person is an “acquaintance” not a friend.

And of course we have to look out for those few who will “help” you in a time of need, just so they can berate you and make you feel bad about yourself at other times. Who needs that kind of help?

So what happens in relationships is sometimes you end up attracted to someone who hangs out with a bunch of people who are not like the person that you are attracted to. The person that you like probably has an inability to pick good friends.

Or, on the other hand maybe you are the odd one. Maybe that person has good friends and you are the one that they shouldn’t be hanging with. Or maybe you are the one with a bad choice of friends or maybe you have good friends and have made a bad choice in a girlfriend.

There is only one way out of these kinds of situations. You will have to communicate your feelings to your significant other and see where the chips fall. Perhaps they already suspected what you point out but never had the encouragement to disconnect from the “so-called” friends.

Or, maybe their friends are much more important to them than you. Right or wrong, it is better to find out where you stand early on in the relationship, rather than waiting for a “blow-up” a few years down the road.

Communication is the only way out after you are in a mess. Before that, learning to discern personality types when you meet people is the way to avoid these kind of messes in the first place.

Mr. L. Rx

She Gives You Her Phone Number To Make You Go Away – Dating To Relating For Men – 6/21/10

admin — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 00:49:05 +0000

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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I don’t have trouble approaching women. I am forty years old and have no back off and have never had back off approaching women. However, my closing rate really sucks. On approaches, I usually get at least fifty percent of the women to give me their phone numbers, but after that I usually only get ten percent to return my call and when I go out with women I only get to second base with about one out of twenty. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: Well, it doesn’t really sound like women like you very much. It sounds like you get a high percentage of phone numbers because you are probably very aggressive and women are giving you a phone number to make you go away.

Guys who use our system run about eighty to ninety percent on each of the points you bring up: Getting phone numbers should be eighty percent of your approaches; eighty percent of the women you call should return your call, and when you go out you should reach second base with at least eighty percent of the women you go out with.

If you are not getting these kinds of results then yes, you are definitely doing something wrong. In your case, the numbers suggest you are too aggressive. You probably need to listen more and “aggress” less.

A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that just because a woman talks to them, the woman likes them. It is especially easy to make this mistake when you are aggressive.

If you are aggressive and funny, a lot of women will talk to you because you are entertaining. Doesn’t mean they are interested in you as a boyfriend prospect. Other times, women will continue talking to an aggressive guy just to be friendly or nice.

I have seen a lot of aggressive guys monopolize a conversation (in other words, do all or most all of the talking) to the point that they don’t see or listen to what is going on. They take the fact that the girl is still there to be a signal that they are doing okay, when in fact the girl is just being nice or considers you entertaining and that is all.

Frequently these kinds of guys get lots of phone numbers but no return calls or very few dates.

These kinds of guys need to be less aggressive and learn to be a little more mellow. Just say, “Hi” to a girl and then shut up. As you converse with a girl, frequently say things then shut up. Give a girl the chance to say something to keep the conversation going or to walk away if she wants. If she stays and actually “tries” to keep the conversation going – then you know you have someone who is actually interested in you.

When you just non-stop talk, entertain, or say rude things to get a reaction, women will stay and talk or listen to you, but it is not for the reasons you think it is, and it is not because they are interested in you romantically.

So if you want to improve your percentages to the eighty to ninety percent range the first thing you will have to do is shut up and learn to listen and observe. If the woman is making an effort to keep the conversation going, if she stays and talks to you when you are just listening, then perhaps – just perhaps – she might be actually interested in you.

Mr. L. Rx