Can you run 200 yards in a minute while wearing a bulky costume? Lots of teams have mascots that race during games. Milwaukee has sausages, D.C. has presidents. The Pirates need racing pierogies.

DAVID GREENE, HOST:

Good morning. I’m David Greene. Do you like dumplings? Can you run 200 yards in a minute while wearing a bulky costume? Well, there might be a job for you. The Pittsburgh Pirates need pierogies for next season. It’s one of those odd baseball traditions, mascots racing around the diamond. Lots of teams have them. There are Milwaukee Sausages, D.C.’s Presidents. But nothing warms my heart more than a bunch of sprinting pierogies with faces. I think I’m going to audition for this job.

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