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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.
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DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN
Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z.” Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am not just shy, I am deathly afraid of women. The thought of approaching a woman that I am attracted to paralyzes me. What kind of advice can you give a guy like me?
Answer: Well, if I was talking to you, I would ask you a bunch of questions to clarify what exactly it is that you are afraid of. But since I don’t have that luxury, let’s proceed as if you are a typical “scared” guy.
Most guys who are scared of approaching are afraid of being “rejected.” Rather than be rejected they would prefer to not even approach a woman. Some guys are only afraid of being rejected in front of other people, while many are afraid of rejection itself.
The “fear of rejection” is simple to handle. Don’t create a situation in which you can be rejected in the first place.
Walking up to a woman and asking her for a date, or walking up to a woman and telling her how beautiful she is, and how much you are attracted to her puts you right smack dab in the middle of a “rejection” scenario. Even light flirting can put you in a rejection scenario.
Here is all that you have to remember: If a woman is attracted to you or likes you, she will keep the conversation or other interaction with you going. So the subtlest form of flirting or approaching is just talking – talking the same way you would talk to a woman that you weren’t even attracted to.
Then only when a woman shows you that she is interested in you (by keeping the interaction or conversation going) do you attempt to stick your neck out and flirt. If she doesn’t show any interest at all, it is simple. Don’t flirt – just keep it friendly.
You might make a few mistakes on reading women, but if you approach it this way you won’t get rejected very often. Better yet you will be able to read with fairly good accuracy when a woman is interested in you.
So how do you begin such “interactions?” Well, ask the time. Ask directions. Give a nice friendly smile and a “hi” to someone standing next to you in line. Talk about the weather or recent newsworthy events. Do and say things that friendly people do and say. This allows you to deny that you are flirting and prevents the possibility of “rejection.”
Remember although these approaches may seem mundane, if a woman is interested in you she will find some way to keep the interaction or conversation going. That will be your clue. And if she doesn’t – well, you are just a friendly guy. You weren’t making a move or flirting so there is nothing to be rejected over.
Mr. L. Rx