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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is created and authored by Mr. L. Rx and released exclusively through AssociatedNews.US. Mr. L. Rx is one of the preeminent men’s dating advice gurus, with the second most popular men’s dating advice site on the internet (DatingToRelating.com) and several popular books such as his dating bible for men – Dating To Relating – From A to Z.

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Copyright 2011 by Dating To Relating, Inc.

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z.” Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.).

Question: I have tried other dating systems with some success. The problem is I am successful with women that are not the kind of women that I would want to marry. How do you successfully meet the kind of woman you ultimately want to marry?

Answer: Compromise or “settling” is probably the bane of all relationships. Meeting lots of people and qualifying the people that you meet is the cure for “settling.”

For example, a guy’s ideal woman that he wants to marry is say, “a beautiful girl who has a friendly outgoing personality and wants to travel all around the world.” Once someone knows the type of person he or she ultimately wants, he or she should put energy into defining how they would meet such a person.

In the above example, we would ask, “Where do beautiful girls hang out?” “What do beautiful girls do?” “Where do friendly outgoing people tend to hang out, and what do they do?” “Where do people who like to travel tend to hang out and what kinds of things do they do?”

Ask tougher questions. “Where would someone who is beautiful, outgoing, and likes to travel hang out? What kinds of things would they be doing?”

Then get busy putting yourself in those places and doing those things that these type of people would do. This is how you will find people who are actually “prospects” – people who potentially have all the attributes you are looking for.

But finding prospects is not enough. You have to qualify them when meeting them. Perhaps she IS beautiful, but that is not enough. Observe what kind of personality she has and ask her about traveling.

Even if she is beautiful with a great outgoing and friendly personality that won’t be enough if she doesn’t share your dream of traveling all around the world.

The only mistakes you can make are not defining where to meet these kinds of people in the first place and “settling” for people who only have one or two of the many attributes you are looking for.

I usually don’t call my first dates a date at all but a meeting. I am meeting someone to qualify them to see if they have all the attributes that I am looking for in a person. I won’t even have a second “date” or meeting unless they have all the attributes necessary for me to continue seeing them.

Must guys seem to be too scared or nervous on a first date to think of qualifying anyone. But don’t make that mistake. The more dates you have with someone who really isn’t a prospect, the greater the chance is that you will go into agreement with that situation and compromise your integrity and “settle.”

It is totally ok to “meet” people. But qualify them when meeting. And if they don’t qualify instantly – move on. Life is funny. It seems to give us “tests” or “challenges.” Life tries to trick us into settling or compromising our integrity.

Life beats most people. They settle and whether a day, a year, or a lifetime later they live to regret it. But when you refuse to settle, sooner or later life “gives up” with the tests and challenges and hands you what you really want on a silver platter.

So meeting people, qualifying them, and keeping your integrity, my friend, is how you will successfully meet the kind of women you want to marry.

Mr. L. Rx