{"id":307,"date":"2009-02-14T15:41:04","date_gmt":"2009-02-14T15:41:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/?p=307"},"modified":"2010-08-07T00:43:47","modified_gmt":"2010-08-07T00:43:47","slug":"how-to-overcome-fears-when-approaching-women-dating-to-relating-for-men-21609","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/how-to-overcome-fears-when-approaching-women-dating-to-relating-for-men-21609\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Overcome Fears When Approaching Women \u2013 Dating To Relating For Men \u2013 2\/16\/09"},"content":{"rendered":"

You may use the \u201cDating To Relating For Men\u201d column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free <\/strong>as long as you do not edit out any information, and you make sure the attribution (AssociatedNews.US) and the copyright (2009 Dating To Relating, Inc.) are clearly legible within the column. You may only use the column royalty free in your newspaper, magazine, or website. It may not be used in any books, book compilations or collections without our express permission.<\/p>\n

\u201cDating To Relating For Men\u201d<\/strong> is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.<\/p>\n

“Dating To Relating For Men\u201d<\/strong> is created and authored by Mr. L. Rx and released exclusively through AssociatedNews.US. Mr. L. Rx is one of the preeminent men\u2019s dating advice gurus, with the second most popular men\u2019s dating advice site on the internet (DatingToRelating.com<\/strong>) and several popular books such as his dating bible for men – Dating To Relating – From A to Z<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

If you would like to be on the direct advance distribution list for the weekly release of \u201cDating To Relating For Men<\/strong>\u201d send an email to DatingToRelating@AssociatedNews.US<\/strong> and tell us your name and the name of the publication that will be using the column.<\/p>\n

For more information on how to overcome fears when approaching women<\/a> visit DatingToRelating.com<\/p>\n

Copyright 2009 by Dating To Relating, Inc.<\/strong><\/p>\n

DATING T0 RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx<\/strong>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Released by AssociatedNews.US<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book \u201cDating To Relating \u2013 From A To Z\u201d. <\/strong>Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com<\/strong> and it may be selected for answer in this column. <\/strong>(Sorry all questions can not be answered.)
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Question<\/strong><\/span>:<\/strong> How do you overcome fears that pop up sometimes even when things are going good?<\/span><\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong> That is a good question. There are entire books that have been written on that subject. It is not an easy question to answer as it varies from person to person. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears usually involves lowering the gradient. <\/span><\/p>\n

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will start building up a \u201ccomplex\u201d about failing, and soon not try anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary \u2013 not necessarily impossible but scary.\u00a0 Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too.<\/span><\/p>\n

The right approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears that pop up in meeting or dating women:<\/span><\/p>\n

When I am approaching a beautiful woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how beautiful she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say \u201cHi.\u201d If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn\u2019t then I know she is not interested in me and the simple \u201cHi\u201d just appears that I am friendly – <\/span>not necessarily even flirting – so I don\u2019t feel shot down in front of other people.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I am starting to date a girl and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don\u2019t ask her \u201cDo you want to get intimate?\u201d I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just watch TV at my house. <\/span>If she doesn\u2019t want to get intimate she certainly won\u2019t want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my house. Or rather than trying to suddenly \u201ckiss her\u201d, I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will start touching me back to give me the go ahead signal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes when I am fearful of confronting a woman about making a move, I even use \u201cmultiple choice\u201d as a test of gradients. When planning a date and fearful to directly ask if she wants to come over to my house, I might say \u201cDo you want to (a) go to a movie, (b) go out to dinner, (c) meet up with our friends at the party or (d) stay home and watch TV and cuddle. <\/span><\/p>\n

That way I don\u2019t feel rejected if she doesn\u2019t choose (d) as I didn\u2019t directly suggest that we had to do that. But if she does select (d) I know she is ready to take it to the next level.<\/span><\/p>\n

When you feel uncomfortable and fearful just try to think of a lower gradient that isn’t as scary and allows you to make forward progress toward your goal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. L. Rx<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You may use the \u201cDating To Relating For Men\u201d column in your newspaper, magazine, or website royalty free as long as you do not edit out any information, and you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56,74],"tags":[216,50,75,97,96],"class_list":["post-307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","category-dating-to-relating","tag-columns","tag-dating-relationship-advice","tag-mr-l-rx","tag-overcome-fears-when-approaching-girls","tag-overcome-fears-when-approaching-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":310,"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions\/310"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/associatednews.us\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}